第 40 节
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独来读网 更新:2022-11-28 19:18 字数:9322
the incidents of her evening journey; and the former assumed a more
distinct shape in her mind's eye than anything on the visible side
of the curtain。
Neigh was perhaps not quite so placidly nonchalant as in ordinary;
still; he was by far the most trying visitor that Ethelberta had
lately faced; and she could not get above the stagenot a very high
one for the mistress of a houseof feeling her personality to be
inconveniently in the way of his eyes。 He had somewhat the bearing
of a man who was going to do without any fuss what gushing people
would call a philanthropic action。
'I have been intending to write a line to you;' said Neigh; 'but I
felt that I could not be sure of writing my meaning in a way which
might please you。 I am not bright at a letternever was。 The
question I mean is one that I hope you will be disposed to answer
favourably; even though I may show the awkwardness of a fellow…
person who has never put such a question before。 Will you give me a
word of encouragementjust a hope that I may not be unacceptable as
a husband to you? Your talents are very great; and of course I know
that I have nothing at all in that way。 Still people are happy
together sometimes in spite of such things。 Will you say 〃Yes;〃 and
settle it now?'
'I was not expecting you had come upon such an errand as this;' said
she; looking up a little; but mostly looking down。 'I cannot say
what you wish; Mr。 Neigh。
'Perhaps I have been too sudden and presumptuous。 Yes; I know I
have been that。 However; directly I saw you I felt that nobody ever
came so near my idea of what is desirable in a lady; and it occurred
to me that only one obstacle should stand in the way of the natural
results; which obstacle would be your refusal。 In common kindness
consider。 I daresay I am judged to be a man of inattentive habits
I know that's what you think of me; but under your influence I
should be very different; so pray do not let your dislike to little
matters influence you。'
'I would not indeed。 But believe me there can be no discussion of
marriage between us;' said Ethelberta decisively。
'If that's the case I may as well say no more。 To burden you with
my regrets would be out of place; I suppose;' said Neigh; looking
calmly out of the window。
'Apart from personal feeling; there are considerations which would
prevent what you contemplated;' she murmured。 'My affairs are too
lengthy; intricate; and unpleasant for me to explain to anybody at
present。 And that would be a necessary first step。'
'Not at all。 I cannot think that preliminary to be necessary at
all。 I would put my lawyer in communication with yours; and we
would leave the rest to them: I believe that is the proper way。
You could say anything in confidence to your family…man; and you
could inquire through him anything you might wish to know about my
about me。 All you would need to say to myself are just the two
little words〃I will;〃 in the church here at the end of the
Crescent。'
'I am sorry to pain you; Mr。 Neighso sorry;' said Ethelberta。
'But I cannot say them。' She was rather distressed that; despite
her discouraging words; he still went on with his purpose; as if he
imagined what she so distinctly said to be no bar; but rather a
stimulant; usual under the circumstances。
'It does not matter about paining me;' said Neigh。 'Don't take that
into consideration at all。 But I did not expect you to leave me so
entirely without helpto refuse me absolutely as far as words go
after what you did。 If it had not been for that I should never have
ventured to call。 I might otherwise have supposed your interest to
be fixed in another quarter; but your acting in that manner
encouraged me to think you could listen to a word。'
'What do you allude to?' said Ethelberta。 'How have I acted?'
Neigh appeared reluctant to go any further; but the allusion soon
became sufficiently clear。 'I wish my little place at Farnfield had
been worthier of you;' he said brusquely。 'However; that's a matter
of time only。 It is useless to build a house there yet。 I wish I
had known that you would be looking over it at that time of the
evening。 A single word; when we were talking about it the other
day; that you were going to be in the neighbourhood; would have been
sufficient。 Nothing could have given me so much delight as to have
driven you round。'
He knew that she had been to Farnfield: that knowledge was what had
inspired him to call upon her to…day! Ethelberta breathed a sort of
exclamation; not right out; but stealthily; like a parson's damn。
Her face did not change; since a face must be said not to change
while it preserves the same pleasant lines in the mobile parts as
before; but anybody who has preserved his pleasant lines under the
half…minute's peer of the invidious camera; and found what a
wizened; starched kind of thing they stiffen to towards the end of
the time; will understand the tendency of Ethelberta's lovely
features now。
'Yes; I walked round;' said Ethelberta faintly。
Neigh was decidedly master of the position at last; but he spoke as
if he did not value that。 His knowledge had furnished him with
grounds for calling upon her; and he hastened to undeceive her from
supposing that he could think ill of any motive of hers which gave
him those desirable grounds。
'I supposed you; by that; to give some little thought to me
occasionally;' he resumed; in the same slow and orderly tone。 'How
could I help thinking so? It was your doing that which encouraged
me。 Now; was it not naturalI put it to you?'
Ethelberta was almost exasperated at perceiving the awful extent to
which she had compromised herself with this man by her impulsive
visit。 Lightly and philosophically as he seemed to take itas a
thing; in short; which every woman would do by nature unless
hindered by difficultiesit was no trifle to her as long as he was
ignorant of her justification; and this she determined that he
should know at once; at all hazards。
'It was through you in the first place that I did look into your
grounds!' she said excitedly。 'It was your presumption that caused
me to go there。 I should not have thought of such a thing else。 If
you had not said what you did say I never should have thought of you
or Farnfield eitherFarnfield might have been in Kamtschatka for
all I cared。'
'I hope sincerely that I never said anything to disturb you?'
'Yes; you didnot to me; but to somebody;' said Ethelberta; with
her eyes over…full of retained tears。
'What have I said to somebody that can be in the least objectionable
to you?' inquired Neigh; with much concern。
'You saidyou said; you meant to marry mejust as if I had no
voice in the matter! And that annoyed me; and made me go there out
of curiosity。'
Neigh changed colour a little。 'Well; I did say it: I own that I
said it;' he replied at last。 Probably he knew enough of her nature
not to feel long disconcerted by her disclosure; however she might
have become possessed of the information。 The explanation was
certainly a great excuse to her curiosity; but if Ethelberta had
tried she could not have given him a better ground for making light
of her objections to his suit。 'I felt that I must marry you; that
we were predestined to marry ages ago; and I feel it still!' he
continued; with listless ardour。 'You seem to regret your interest
in Farnfield; but to me it is a charm; and has been ever since I
heard of it。'
'If you only knew all!' she said helplessly; showing; without
perceiving it; an unnecessary humility in the remark; since there
was no more reason just then that she should go into details about
her life than that he should about his。 But melancholy and mistaken
thoughts of herself as a counterfeit had brought her to this。
'I do not wish to know more;' said Neigh。
'And would you marry any woman off…hand; without being thoroughly
acquainted with her circumstances?' she said; looking at him
curiously; and with a little admiration; for his unconscionably
phlegmatic treatment of her motives in going to Farnfield had a not
unbecoming daring about it in Ethelberta's eye。
'I would marry a woman off…hand when that woman is you。 I would
make you mine this moment did I dare; or; to speak with absolute
accuracy; within twenty…four hours。 Do assent to it; dear Mrs。
Petherwin; and let me be sure of you for ever。 I'll drive to
Doctors' Commons this minute; and meet you to…morrow morning at nine
in the church just below。 It is a simple impulse; but I would
adhere to it in the coolest moment。 Shall it be arranged in that
way; instead of our waiting through the ordinary routine of
preparation? I am not a youth now; but I can see the bliss of such
an act as that; and the contemptible nature of methodical
proceedings beside it!'
He had taken her hand。 Ethelberta gave it a subtle movement
backwards to imply that he was not to retain the prize; and said;
'One whose inner life is almost unknown to you; and whom you have
scarcely seen except at other people's houses!'
'We know each other far better than we may think at first;' said
Neigh。 'We are not people to love in a hurry; and I ha