第 20 节
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独来读网 更新:2022-11-28 19:17 字数:9322
notice where the grass terminated near the edge of the cliff; though
this could be easily felt by a careful walker: to make my own
feeling more distinct on this point I hastily bared my feet。'
The listeners moistened their lips; Ethelberta took breath; and then
went on to describe the scene that ensued; 'A dreadful variation on
the game of Blindman's buff;' being the words by which she
characterized it。
Ethelberta's manner had become so impassioned at this point that the
lips of her audience parted; the children clung to their elders; and
Christopher could control himself no longer。 He thrust aside the
boughs; and broke in upon the group。
'For Heaven's sake; Ethelberta;' he exclaimed with great excitement;
'where did you meet with such a terrible experience as that?'
The children shrieked; as if they thought that the interruption was
in some way the catastrophe of the events in course of narration。
Every one started up; the two young mechanics stared; and one of
them inquired; in return; 'What's the matter; friend?'
Christopher had not yet made reply when Ethelberta stepped from her
pedestal down upon the crackling carpet of deep leaves。
'Mr。 Julian!' said she; in a serene voice; turning upon him eyes of
such a disputable stage of colour; between brown and grey; as would
have commended itself to a gallant duellist of the last century as a
point on which it was absolutely necessary to take some friend's
life or other。 But the calmness was artificially done; and the
astonishment that did not appear in Ethelberta's tones was expressed
by her gaze。 Christopher was not in a mood to draw fine
distinctions between recognized and unrecognized organs of speech。
He replied to the eyes。
'I own that your surprise is natural;' he said; with an anxious look
into her face; as if he wished to get beyond this interpolated scene
to something more congenial and understood。 'But my concern at such
a history of yourself since I last saw you is even more natural than
your surprise at my manner of breaking in。'
'That history would justify any conduct in one who hears it'
'Yes; indeed。'
'If it were true;' added Ethelberta; smiling。 'But it is as false
as' She could name nothing notoriously false without raising an
image of what was disagreeable; and she continued in a better
manner: 'The story I was telling is entirely a fiction; which I am
getting up for a particular purposevery different from what
appears at present。'
'I am sorry there was such a misunderstanding;' Christopher
stammered; looking upon the ground uncertain and ashamed。 'Yet I am
not; either; for I am very glad you have not undergone such trials;
of course。 But the fact is; Ibeing in the neighbourhoodI
ventured to call on a matter of business; relating to a poem which I
had the pleasure of setting to music at the beginning of the year。'
Ethelberta was only a little less ill at ease than Christopher
showed himself to be by this way of talking。
'Will you walk slowly on?' she said gently to the two young men;
'and take the children with you; this gentleman wishes to speak to
me on business。'
The biggest young man caught up a little one under his arm; and
plunged amid the boughs; another little one lingered behind for a
few moments to look shyly at Christopher; with an oblique manner of
hiding her mouth against her shoulder and her eyes behind her
pinafore。 Then she vanished; the boy and the second young man
followed; and Ethelberta and Christopher stood within the wood…bound
circle alone。
'I hope I have caused no inconvenience by interrupting the
proceedings;' said Christopher softly; 'but I so very much wished to
see you!'
'Did you; indeedreally wish to see me?' she said gladly。 'Never
mind inconvenience then; it is a word which seems shallow in meaning
under the circumstances。 I surely must say that a visit is to my
advantage; must I not? I am not as I was; you see; and may receive
as advantages what I used to consider as troubles。'
'Has your life really changed so much?'
'It has changed。 But what I first meant was that an interesting
visitor at a wrong time is better than a stupid one at a right
time。'
'I had been behind the trees for some minutes; looking at you; and
thinking of you; but what you were doing rather interrupted my first
meditation。 I had thought of a meeting in which we should continue
our intercourse at the point at which it was broken off years ago;
as if the omitted part had not existed at all; but something; I
cannot tell what; has upset all that feeling; and'
'I can soon tell you the meaning of my extraordinary performance;'
Ethelberta broke in quickly; and with a little trepidation。 'My
mother…in…law; Lady Petherwin; is dead; and she has left me nothing
but her house and furniture in Londonmore than I deserve; but less
than she had distinctly led me to expect; and so I am somewhat in a
corner。'
'It is always so。'
'Not always; I think。 But this is how it happened。 Lady Petherwin
was very capricious; when she was not foolishly kind she was
unjustly harsh。 A great many are like it; never thinking what a
good thing it would be; instead of going on tacking from side to
side between favour and cruelty; to keep to a mean line of common
justice。 And so we quarrelled; and she; being absolute mistress of
all her wealth; destroyed her will that was in my favour; and made
another; leaving me nothing but the fag…end of the lease of the
town…house and the furniture in it。 Then; when we were abroad; she
turned to me again; forgave everything; and; becoming ill
afterwards; wrote a letter to the brother; to whom she had left the
bulk of her property; stating that I was to have twenty…thousand of
the one…hundred…thousand pounds she had bequeathed to himas in the
original willdoing this by letter in case anything should happen
to her before a new will could be considered; drawn; and signed; and
trusting to his honour quite that he would obey her expressed wish
should she die abroad。 Well; she did die; in the full persuasion
that I was provided for; but her brother (as I secretly expected all
the time) refused to be morally bound by a document which had no
legal value; and the result is that he has everything; except; of
course; the furniture and the lease。 It would have been enough to
break the heart of a person who had calculated upon getting a
fortune; which I never did; for I felt always like an intruder and a
bondswoman; and had wished myself out of the Petherwin family a
hundred times; with my crust of bread and liberty。 For one thing; I
was always forbidden to see my relatives; and it pained me much。
Now I am going to move for myself; and consider that I have a good
chance of success in what I may undertake; because of an
indifference I feel about succeeding which gives the necessary
coolness that any great task requires。'
'I presume you mean to write more poems?'
'I cannotthat is; I can write no more that satisfy me。 To blossom
into rhyme on the sparkling pleasures of life; you must be under the
influence of those pleasures; and I am at present quite removed from
themsurrounded by gaunt realities of a very different
description。'
'Then try the mournful。 Trade upon your sufferings: many do; and
thrive。'
'It is no use to say thatno use at all。 I cannot write a line of
verse。 And yet the others flowed from my heart like a stream。 But
nothing is so easy as to seem clever when you have money。'
'Except to seem stupid when you have none;' said Christopher;
looking at the dead leaves。
Ethelberta allowed herself to linger on that thought for a few
seconds; and continued; 'Then the question arose; what was I to do?
I felt that to write prose would be an uncongenial occupation; and
altogether a poor prospect for a woman like me。 Finally I have
decided to appear in public。'
'Not on the stage?'
'Certainly not on the stage。 There is no novelty in a poor lady
turning actress; and novelty is what I want。 Ordinary powers
exhibited in a new way effect as much as extraordinary powers
exhibited in an old way。'
'Yesso they do。 And extraordinary powers; and a new way too;
would be irresistible。'
'I don't calculate upon both。 I had written a prose story by
request; when it was found that I had grown utterly inane over
verse。 It was written in the first person; and the style was
modelled after De Foe's。 The night before sending it off; when I
had already packed it up; I was reading about the professional
story…tellers of Eastern countries; who devoted their lives to the
telling of tales。 I unfastened the manuscript and retained it;
convinced that I should do better by TELLING the story。'
'Well thought of!' exclaimed Christopher; looking into her face。
'There is a way for everybody to live; if they can only find it
out。'
'It occurred to me;' she continued; blushing slightly; 'that tales
of the weird kind were made to be told; not written。 The action of
a teller is wanted to give due effect to all stories of incident;
and I hope that a time will come when; as of old; instead of an
unsocial reading of fiction at home alone; people will meet together
cordi