第 7 节
作者:
绝对零度 更新:2022-11-28 19:15 字数:9321
The next morning he was torn bodily by his mother from the grip of
sleep。 Then came the meagre breakfast; the tramp through the dark; and
the pale glimpse of day across the housetops as he turned his back on it
and went in through the factory gate。 It was another day; of all the days;
and all the days were alike。
And yet there had been variety in his lifeat the times he changed
from one job to another; or was taken sick。 When he was six; he was
little mother and father to Will and the other children still younger。 At
seven he went into the millswinding bobbins。 When he was eight; he
got work in another mill。 His new job was marvellously easy。 All he
had to do was to sit down with a little stick in his hand and guide a stream
of cloth that flowed past him。 This stream of cloth came out of the maw
of a machine; passed over a hot roller; and went on its way elsewhere。
But he sat always in one place; beyond the reach of daylight; a gas…jet
flaring over him; himself part of the mechanism。
He was very happy at that job; in spite of the moist heat; for he was
still young and in possession of dreams and illusions。 And wonderful
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dreams he dreamed as he watched the steaming cloth streaming endlessly
by。 But there was no exercise about the work; no call upon his mind; and
he dreamed less and less; while his mind grew torpid and drowsy。
Nevertheless; he earned two dollars a week; and two dollars represented
the difference between acute starvation and chronic underfeeding。
But when he was nine; he lost his job。 Measles was the cause of it。
After he recovered; he got work in a glass factory。 The pay was better;
and the work demanded skill。 It was piecework; and the more skilful he
was; the bigger wages he earned。 Here was incentive。 And under this
incentive he developed into a remarkable worker。
It was simple work; the tying of glass stoppers into small bottles。 At
his waist he carried a bundle of twine。 He held the bottles between his
knees so that he might work with both hands。 Thus; in a sitting position
and bending over his own knees; his narrow shoulders grew humped and
his chest was contracted for ten hours each day。 This was not good for
the lungs; but he tied three hundred dozen bottles a day。
The superintendent was very proud of him; and brought visitors to
look at him。 In ten hours three hundred dozen bottles passed through his
hands。 This meant that he had attained machine…like perfection。 All
waste movements were eliminated。 Every motion of his thin arms; every
movement of a muscle in the thin fingers; was swift and accurate。 He
worked at high tension; and the result was that he grew nervous。 At night
his muscles twitched in his sleep; and in the daytime he could not relax
and rest。 He remained keyed up and his muscles continued to twitch。
Also he grew sallow and his lint…cough grew worse。 Then pneumonia
laid hold of the feeble lungs within the contracted chest; and he lost his job
in the glass…works。
Now he had returned to the jute mills where he had first begun with
winding bobbins。 But promotion was waiting for him。 He was a good
worker。 He would next go on the starcher; and later he would go into the
loom room。 There was nothing after that except increased efficiency。
The machinery ran faster than when he had first gone to work; and his
mind ran slower。 He no longer dreamed at all; though his earlier years
had been full of dreaming。 Once he had been in love。 It was when he
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first began guiding the cloth over the hot roller; and it was with the
daughter of the superintendent。 She was much older than he; a young
woman; and he had seen her at a distance only a paltry half…dozen times。
But that made no difference。 On the surface of the cloth stream that
poured past him; he pictured radiant futures wherein he performed
prodigies of toil; invented miraculous machines; won to the mastership of
the mills; and in the end took her in his arms and kissed her soberly on the
brow。
But that was all in the long ago; before he had grown too old and tired
to love。 Also; she had married and gone away; and his mind had gone to
sleep。 Yet it had been a wonderful experience; and he used often to look
back upon it as other men and women look back upon the time they
believed in fairies。 He had never believed in fairies nor Santa Claus; but he
had believed implicitly in the smiling future his imagination had wrought
into the steaming cloth stream。
He had become a man very early in life。 At seven; when he drew his
first wages; began his adolescence。 A certain feeling of independence
crept up in him; and the relationship between him and his mother changed。
Somehow; as an earner and breadwinner; doing his own work in the world;
he was more like an equal with her。 Manhood; full…blown manhood; had
come when he was eleven; at which time he had gone to work on the night
shift for six months。 No child works on the night shift and remains a
child。
There had been several great events in his life。 One of these had been
when his mother bought some California prunes。 Two others had been
the two times when she cooked custard。 Those had been events。 He
remembered them kindly。 And at that time his mother had told him of a
blissful dish she would sometime make〃floating island;〃 she had called it;
〃better than custard。〃 For years he had looked forward to the day when
he would sit down to the table with floating island before him; until at last
he had relegated the idea of it to the limbo of unattainable ideals。
Once he found a silver quarter lying on the sidewalk。 That; also; was
a great event in his life; withal a tragic one。 He knew his duty on the
instant the silver flashed on his eyes; before even he had picked it up。 At
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home; as usual; there was not enough to eat; and home he should have
taken it as he did his wages every Saturday night。 Right conduct in this
case was obvious; but he never had any spending of his money; and he
was suffering from candy hunger。 He was ravenous for the sweets that
only on red…letter days he had ever tasted in his life。
He did not attempt to deceive himself。 He knew it was sin; and
deliberately he sinned when he went on a fifteen…cent candy debauch。
Ten cents he saved for a future orgy; but not being accustomed to the
carrying of money; he lost the ten cents。 This occurred at the time when
he was suffering all the torments of conscience; and it was to him an act of
divine retribution。 He had a frightened sense of the closeness of an awful
and wrathful God。 God had seen; and God had been swift to punish;
denying him even the full wages of sin。
In memory he always looked back upon that as the one great criminal
deed of his life; and at the recollection his conscience always awoke and
gave him another twinge。 It was the one skeleton in his closet。 Also;
being so made; and circumstanced; he looked back upon the deed with
regret。 He was dissatisfied with the manner in which he had spent the
quarter。 He could have invested it better; and; out of his later knowledge
of the quickness of God; he would have beaten God out by spending the
whole quarter at one fell swoop。 In retrospect he spent the quarter a
thousand times; and each time to better advantage。
There was one other memory of the past; dim and faded;