第 4 节
作者:
绝对零度 更新:2022-11-28 19:15 字数:9322
And then he died。 That was the mercy。 Within the week Marvin Fiske
was dead you remember the accident。 And in her diary; written at this
time; I long afterward read Mitchell Kennerly's:
〃'There was not a single hour We might have kissed and did not
kiss。'〃
〃Oh; the irony of it!〃 I cried out。
And Carquinez; in the firelight a veritable Mephistopheles in velvet
jacket; fixed me with his black eyes。
12
… Page 13…
WHEN GOD LAUGHS; AND OTHER STORIES
〃And they won; you said? The world's judgment! I have told you;
and I know。 They won as you are winning; here in your hills。〃
〃But you;〃 I demanded hotly; 〃you with your orgies of sound and
sense; with your mad cities and madder frolicsbethink you that you
win?〃
He shook his head slowly。 〃Because you with your sober bucolic
regime; lose; is no reason that I should win。 We never win。 Sometimes
we think we win。 That is a little pleasantry of the gods。〃
13
… Page 14…
WHEN GOD LAUGHS; AND OTHER STORIES
THE APOSTATE
〃Now I wake me up to work; I pray the Lord I may not shirk。 If I
should die before the night; I pray the Lord my work's all right。
Amen。〃
〃If you don't git up; Johnny; I won't give you a bite to eat!〃
The threat had no effect on the boy。 He clung stubbornly to sleep;
fighting for its oblivion as the dreamer fights for his dream。 The boy's
hands loosely clenched themselves; and he made feeble; spasmodic blows
at the air。 These blows were intended for his mother; but she betrayed
practised familiarity in avoiding them as she shook him roughly by the
shoulder。
〃Lemme 'lone!〃
It was a cry that began; muffled; in the deeps of sleep; that swiftly
rushed upward; like a wail; into passionate belligerence; and that died
away and sank down into an inarticulate whine。 It was a bestial cry; as of
a soul in torment; filled with infinite protest and pain。
But she did not mind。 She was a sad…eyed; tired…faced woman; and
she had grown used to this task; which she repeated every day of her life。
She got a grip on the bedclothes and tried to strip them down; but the boy;
ceasing his punching; clung to them desperately。 In a huddle; at the foot
of the bed; he still remained covered。 Then she tried dragging the
bedding to the floor。 The boy opposed her。 She braced herself。 Hers
was the superior weight; and the boy and bedding gave; the former
instinctively following the latter in order to shelter against the chill of the
room that bit into his body。
As he toppled on the edge of the bed it seemed that he must fall head…
first to the floor。 But consciousness fluttered up in him。 He righted
himself and for a moment perilously balanced。 Then he struck the floor
on his feet。 On the instant his mother seized him by the shoulders and
shook him。 Again his fists struck out; this time with more force and
directness。 At the same time his eyes opened。 She released him。 He
was awake。
14
… Page 15…
WHEN GOD LAUGHS; AND OTHER STORIES
〃All right;〃 he mumbled。
She caught up the lamp and hurried out; leaving him in darkness。
〃You'll be docked;〃 she warned back to him。
He did not mind the darkness。 When he had got into his clothes; he
went out into the kitchen。 His tread was very heavy for so thin and light
a boy。 His legs dragged with their own weight; which seemed
unreasonable because they were such skinny legs。 He drew a broken…
bottomed chair to the table。
〃Johnny;〃 his mother called sharply。
He arose as sharply from the chair; and; without a word; went to the
sink。 It was a greasy; filthy sink。 A smell came up from the outlet。 He
took no notice of it。 That a sink should smell was to him part of the
natural order; just as it was a part of the natural order that the soap should
be grimy with dish…water and hard to lather。 Nor did he try very hard to
make it lather。 Several splashes of the cold water from the running faucet
completed the function。 He did not wash his teeth。 For that matter he
had never seen a toothbrush; nor did he know that there existed beings in
the world who were guilty of so great a foolishness as tooth washing。
〃You might wash yourself wunst a day without bein' told;〃 his mother
complained。
She was holding a broken lid on the pot as she poured two cups of
coffee。 He made no remark; for this was a standing quarrel between them;
and the one thing upon which his mother was hard as adamant。 〃Wunst〃
a day it was compulsory that he should wash his face。 He dried himself
on a greasy towel; damp and dirty and ragged; that left his face covered
with shreds of lint。
〃I wish we didn't live so far away;〃 she said; as he sat down。 〃I try to
do the best I can。 You know that。 But a dollar on the rent is such a
savin'; an' we've more room here。 You know that。〃
He scarcely followed her。 He had heard it all before; many times。
The range of her thought was limited; and she was ever harking back to
the hardship worked upon them by living so far from the mills。
〃A dollar means more grub;〃 he remarked sententiously。 〃I'd sooner
do the walkin' an' git the grub。〃
15
… Page 16…
WHEN GOD LAUGHS; AND OTHER STORIES
He ate hurriedly; half chewing the bread and washing the unmasticated
chunks down with coffee。 The hot and muddy liquid went by the name
of coffee。 Johnny thought it was coffeeand excellent coffee。 That was
one of the few of life's illusions that remained to him。 He had never
drunk real coffee in his life。
In addition to the bread; there was a small piece of cold pork。 His
mother refilled his cup with coffee。 As he was finishing the bread; he
began to watch if more was forthcoming。 She intercepted his questioning
glance。
〃Now; don't be hoggish; Johnny;〃 was her comment。 〃You've had
your share。 Your brothers an' sisters are smaller'n you。〃
He did not answer the rebuke。 He was not much of a talker。 Also;
he ceased his hungry glancing for more。 He was uncomplaining; with a
patience that was as terrible as the school in which it had been learned。
He finished his coffee; wiped his mouth on the back of his hand; and
started to rise。
〃Wait a second;〃 she said hastily。 〃I guess the loaf kin stand you
another slicea thin un。〃
There was legerdemain in her actions。 With all the seeming of
cutting a slice from the loaf for him; she put loaf and slice back in the
bread box and conveyed to him one of her own two slices。 She believed
she had deceived him; but he had noted her sleight…of…hand。
Nevertheless; he took the bread shamelessly。 He had a philosophy that
his mother; because of her chronic sickliness; was not much of an eater
anyway。
She saw that he was chewing the bread dry; and reached over and
emptied her coffee cup into his。
〃Don't set good somehow on my stomach this morning;〃 she
explained。
A distant whistle; prolonged and shrieking; brought both of them to
their feet。 She glanced at the tin alarm…clock on the shelf。 The hands
stood at half…past five。 The rest of the factory world was just arousing
from sleep。 She drew a shawl about her shoulders; and on her head put a
dingy