第 2 节
作者:绝对零度      更新:2022-11-28 19:15      字数:9322
  〃A  pat   answer;〃   he   said;   〃machine…made   like   a   piece   of   cotton…drill。
  The world's judgment!          And much the world knows about it。              Like you;
  she   fled   from   life。  She   was   beaten。    She   flung   out   the   white   flag   of
  fatigue。     And   no   beleaguered   city  ever  flew   that   flag   in   such   bitterness
  and tears。
  〃Now I shall tell you the whole tale; and you must believe me; for I
  know。     They   had    pondered    the   problem   of   satiety。   They   loved     Love。
  They knew to the uttermost farthing the value of Love。                 They loved him
  so well that they were fain to keep him always; warm and a…thrill in their
  hearts。    They welcomed his coming; they feared to have him depart。
  〃Love was desire; they held; a delicious pain。              He was ever seeking
  easement; and when he found that for which he sought; he died。                       Love
  denied was Love alive; Love granted was Love deceased。                   Do you follow
  me?     They saw it was not the way of life to be hungry for what it has。
  To eat and still   be hungryman has never   accomplished that feat。                 The
  problem of satiety。        That is it。    To have and to keep the sharp famine…
  edge of appetite at the groaning board。            This was their problem; for they
  loved   Love。     Often   did   they   discuss   it;   with   all   Love's   sweet   ardours
  brimming in their eyes; his ruddy blood spraying their cheeks; his voice
  playing   in   and   out   with   their   voices;   now   hiding   as   a   tremolo   in   their
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  throats; and again shading a tone with that ineffable tenderness which he
  alone can utter。
  〃How   do   I   know   all   this?  I   sawmuch。      More   I   learned   from   her
  diary。 This I found in it; from Fiona Macleod:               'For; truly; that wandering
  voice; that twilight…whisper; that breath so dewy…sweet; that flame…winged
  lute… player whom none sees but for a moment; in a rainbow…shimmer of
  joy; or a sudden lightning…flare of passion; this exquisite mystery we call
  Amor; comes; to some rapt visionaries at least; not with a song upon the
  lips   that   all   may   hear;   or   with   blithe   viol   of   public   music;   but   as   one
  wrought by ecstasy; dumbly eloquent with desire。'
  〃How to keep the flame…winged lute…player with his dumb eloquence
  of desire?      To feast him was to lose him。           Their love for each other was
  a great love。      Their granaries were overflowing with plenitude; yet they
  wanted to keep the sharp famine…edge of their love undulled。
  〃Nor   were   they   lean   little   fledglings   theorizing   on   the   threshold   of
  Love。 They were robust and realized souls。               They had loved before; with
  others; in the days before they met; and in those days they had throttled
  Love with caresses; and killed him with kisses; and buried him in the pit of
  satiety。
  〃They were not cold wraiths; this man and woman。                   They were warm
  human。  They   had   no   Saxon   soberness   in   their   blood。       The   colour   of   it
  was sunset… red。        They glowed with it。         Temperamentally theirs was the
  French     joy   in  the  flesh。   They   were      idealists;  but   their  idealism   was
  Gallic。     It   was   not   tempered   by   the   chill   and   sombre   fluid   that   for   the
  English serves as blood。         There was no stoicism about them。              They were
  Americans; descended out of the English; and yet the refraining and self…
  denying of the English spirit…groping were not theirs。
  〃They were all this that I have said; and they were made for joy; only
  they achieved a concept。          A curse on concepts!         They played with logic;
  and   this   was   their   logic。But   first   let   me   tell   you   of   a   talk   we   had   one
  night。     It  was   of   Gautier's   Madeline     de   Maupin。     You     remember      the
  maid?      She   kissed   once;   and   once   only;   and   kisses   she   would   have   no
  more。     Not that she found kisses were not sweet; but that she feared with
  repetition     they   would    cloy。   Satiety   again!    She    tried  to  play   without
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  stakes against the gods。         Now this is contrary to a rule of the game the
  gods themselves have made。            Only the rules are not posted over the table。
  Mortals must play in order to learn the rules。
  〃Well; to the logic。      The man and the woman argued thus:                Why kiss
  once only?       If to kiss once were wise; was it not wiser to kiss not at all?
  Thus   could   they   keep   Love   alive。     Fasting;   he   would   knock   forever   at
  their hearts。
  〃Perhaps   it   was   out   of   their   heredity   that   they   achieved   this   unholy
  concept。      The breed will out and sometimes most fantastically。                 Thus in
  them   did   cursed Albion   array   herself   a   scheming   wanton;   a   bold;   cold…
  calculating; and artful hussy。         After all; I do not know。        But this I know:
  it was out of their inordinate desire for joy that they forewent joy。
  〃As he said (I read it long afterward in one of his letters to her):                'To
  hold   you   in   my   arms;   close;   and   yet   not   close。 To   yearn   for   you;   and
  never to have you; and so always to have you。'               And she:      'For you to be
  always   just beyond   my   reach。        To   be   ever   attaining   you;   and   yet   never
  attaining   you;   and   for   this   to   last   forever;   always   fresh   and   new;   and
  always with the first flush upon us。
  〃That is not the way they said it。          On my lips their love…philosophy is
  mangled。       And who am I to delve into their soul…stuff?               I am a frog; on
  the dank edge of a great darkness; gazing goggle…eyed at the mystery and
  wonder of their flaming souls。
  〃And they were right; as far as they went。              Everything is good 。 。 。 as
  long as it is unpossessed。        Satiety and possession are Death's horses; they
  run in span。
  〃'And   time   could   only   tutor   us   to   eke   Our   rapture's   warmth   with
  custom's afterglow。'
  〃They got that from a sonnet of Alfred Austin's。               It was called 'Love's
  Wisdom。'       It was the one kiss of Madeline de Maupin。              How did it run?
  〃'Kiss we and part; no further can we go;               And better death than we
  from high to low           Should dwindle; or decline from strong to weak。'
  〃But they were wiser。          They would not kiss and part。             They would
  not   kiss   at   all;   and   thus   they   planned   to   stay   at   Love's   topmost   peak。
  They married。        You were in England at the time。              And never was there
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  such a marriage。       They kept their secret to themselves。         I did not know;
  then。   Their   rapture's   warmth     did  not  cool。    Their    love  burned    with
  increasing     brightness。    Never     was   there  anything    like  it。  The    time
  passed; the months; the years; and ever the flame…winged lute…player grew
  more resplendent。
  〃Everybody marvelled。         They became the wonderful lovers; and they
  were    greatly   envied。   Sometimes       women     pitied  her   because   she   was
  childless; it is the form the envy of such creatures takes。
  〃And I did not know their secret。          I pondered and I marvelled。         As
  first I had expected; subconsciously I imagine; the passing of their love。
  Then I became aware that it was Time that passed and Love that remained。
  Then I became curious。         What was their secret?         What were the magic
  fetters   with   which   they   bound   Love   to   them?  How   did   they   hold   the
  graceless elf?     What elixir of eternal love had they drunk together as had
  Tristram and Iseult of old time?         And whose hand had brewed the fairy
  drink?
  〃As I say; I was curious; and I watched them。            They were love…mad。
  They     lived  in  an  unending     revel  of  Love。    They    made    a  pomp    and
  ceremonial of it。 They saturated themselves in the art and poetry of Love。
  No; they were not neurotics。        They were sane and healthy; and they were
  artists。   But they had accomplished the impossible。             They had achieved
  deathless des