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  and　dry；　they　blinked　against　the　uncomfortable　feeling。　I　bit　my　lip。　When　I　took　my　next　breath；　the　air
  hitched　in　my　throat；　like　I　was　choking　on　it。
  Renesmee　pulled　back　to　look　at　me；　and　I　saw　my　face　mirrored　in　her　thoughts　and　in　her　eyes。　I
  looked　like　Esme　had　this　morning。
  So　this　was　what　it　felt　like　to　cry。
  Renesmee's　eyes　glistened　wetly　as　she　watched　my　face。　She　stroked　my　face；　showing　me　nothing；
  just　trying　to　soothe　me。
  I'd　never　thought　to　see　the　mother…daughter　bond　reversed　between　us；　the　way　it　had　always　been　for
  Renee　and　me。　But　I　hadn't　had　a　very　clear　view　of　the　future。
  A　tear　welled　up　on　the　edge　of　Renesmee's　eye。　I　wiped　it　away　with　a　kiss。　She　touched　her　eye　in
  amazement　and　then　looked　at　the　wetness　on　her　fingertip。
  〃Don't　cry；〃　I　told　her。　〃It's　going　to　be　okay。　You're　going　to　be　fine。　I　will　find　you　a　way　through　this。〃
  If　there　was　nothing　else　I　could　do；　I　would　still　save　my　Renesmee。　I　was　more　positive　than　ever　that
  this　was　what　Alice　would　give　me。　She　would　know。　She　would　have　left　me　a　way。
  30。　IRRESISTIBLE
  There　was　so　much　to　think　about。
  How　was　I　going　to　find　time　alone　to　hunt　down　J。　Jenks；　and　why　did　Alice　want　me　to　know　about
  him？
  If　Alice's　clue　had　nothing　to　do　with　Renesmee；　what　could　I　do　to　save　my　daughter？
  How　were　Edward　and　I　going　to　explain　things　to　Tanya's　family　in　the　morning？　What　if　they　reacted
  like　Irina？　What　if　it　turned　into　a　fight？
  I　didn't　know　how　to　fight。　How　was　I　going　to　learn　in　just　a　month？　Was　there　any　chance　at　all　that　I
  could　be　taught　fast　enough　that　I　might　be　a　danger　to　any　one　member　of　the　Volturi？　Or　was　I
  doomed　to　be　totally　useless？　Just　another　easily　dispatched　newborn？
  So　many　answers　I　needed；　but　I　did　not　get　the　chance　to　ask　my　questions。
  Wanting　some　normality　for　Renesmee；　I'd　insisted　on　taking　her　home　to　our　cottage　at　bedtime。　Jacob
  was　more　comfortable　in　his　wolf　form　at　the　moment；　the　stress　was　easier　dealt　with　when　he　felt　ready
  for　a　fight。　I　wished　that　I　could　feel　the　same；　could　feel　ready。　He　ran　in　the　woods；　on　guard　again。
  After　she　was　deeply　under；　I　put　Renesmee　in　her　bed　and　then　went　to　the　front　room　to　ask　my
  questions　of　Edward。　The　ones　I　was　able　to　ask；　at　any　rate；　one　of　the　most　difficult　of　problems　was
  the　idea　of　trying　to　hide　anything　from　him；　even　with　the　advantage　of　my　silent　thoughts。
  He　stood　with　his　back　to　me；　staring　into　the　fire。
  〃Edward；　I—〃
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  He　spun　and　was　across　the　room　in　what　seemed　like　no　time　at　all；　not　even　the　smallest　part　of　a
  second。　I　only　had　time　to　register　the　ferocious　expression　on　his　face　before　his　lips　were　crushing
  against　mine　and　his　arms　were　locked　around　me　like　steel　girders。
  I　didn't　think　of　my　questions　again　for　the　rest　of　that　night。　It　didn't　take　long　for　me　to　grasp　the　reason
  for　his
  mood；　and　even　less　time　to　feel　exactly　the　same　way。
  I'd　been　planning　on　needing　years　just　to　somewhat　organize　the　overwhelming　passion　I　felt　for　him
  physically。　And　then　centuries　after　that　to　enjoy　it。　if　we　had　only　a　month　left　together。。。　Well；　I　didn't
  see　how　I　could　stand　to　have　this　end。　For　the　moment　I　couldn't　help　but　be　selfish。　All　I　wanted　was　to
  love　him　as　much　as　possible　in　the　limited　time　given　to　me。
  It　was　hard　to　pull　myself　away　from　him　when　the　sun　came　up；　but　we　had　our　job　to　do；　a　job　that
  might　be　more　difficult　than　all　the　rest　of　our　family's　searches　put　together。　As　soon　as　I　let　myself　think
  of　what　was　coming；　i　was　all　tension；　it　felt　like　my　nerves　were　being　stretched　on　a　rack；　thinner　and
  thinner。
  〃I　wish　there　was　a　way　to　get　the　information　we　need　from　Eleazar　before　we　tell　them　about　Nessie；〃
  Edward　muttered　as　we　hurriedly　dressed　in　the　huge　closet　that　was　more　reminder　of　Alice　than　I
  wanted　at　the　moment。　〃Just　in　case。〃
  〃But　he　wouldn't　understand　the　question　to　answer　it；〃　I　agreed。　〃Do　you　think　they'll　let　us　explain？〃
  〃I　don't　know。〃
  I　pulled　Renesmee；　still　sleeping；　from　her　bed　and　held　her　close　so　that　her　curls　were　pressed　against
  my　face；　her　sweet　scent；　so　close；　overpowered　every　other　smell。
  I　couldn't　waste　one　second　of　time　today。　There　were　answers　I　needed；　and　wasn't　sure　how　much
  time　Edward　and　I　would　have　alone　today。　If　all　went　well　with　Tanya's　family；　hopefully　we　would　have
  company　for　an　extended　period。
  〃Edward；　will　you　teach　me　how　to　fight？〃　I　asked　him；　tensed　for　his　reaction；　as　he　held　the　door　for
  me。
  It　was　what　I　expected。　He　froze；　and　then　his　eyes　swept　over　me　with　a　deep　significance；　like　he　was
  looking　at　me　for　the　first　or　last　time。　His　eyes　lingered　on　our　daughter　sleeping　in　my　arms。
  〃If　it　comes　to　a　fight；　there　won't　be　much　any　of　us　can　do；〃　he　hedged。
  I　kept　my　voice　even。　〃Would　you　leave　me　unable　to　defend　myself？〃
  He　swallowed　convulsively；　and　the　door　shuddered；　hinges　protesting；　as　his　hand　tightened。　Then　he
  nodded。　〃When　you　put　it　that　way。。。　I　suppose　we　should　get　to　work　as　soon　as　we　can。〃
  I　nodded；　too；　and　we　started　toward　the　big　house。　We　didn't　hurry。
  I　wondered　what　I　could　do　that　would　have　any　hope　of　making　a　difference。　I　was　a　tiny　bit　special；　in
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  my　own　way—if　a　having　a　supematurally　thick　skull　could　really　be　considered　special。　Was　there　any
  use　that　I　could　put　that　toward？
  〃What　would　you　say　their　biggest　advantage　is？　Do　they　even　have　a　weakness？〃
  Edward　didn't　have　to　ask　to　know　I　meant　the　Volturi。
  〃Alec　and　Jane　are　their　greatest　offense；〃　he　said　emotionlessly；　like　we　were　talking　of　a　basketball
  team。　〃Their　defensive　players　rarely　see　any　real　action。〃
  〃Because　Jane　can　burn　you　where　you　stand—mentally　at　least。　What　does　Alec　do？　Didn't　you　once
  say　he　was　even　more　dangerous　than　Jane？〃
  〃Yes。　In　a　way；　he　is　the　antidote　to　Jane。　She　makes　you　feel　the　worst　pain　imaginable。　Alec；　on　the
  other　hand；　makes　you　feel　nothing。　Absolutely　nothing。　Sometimes；　when　the　Volturi　are　feeling　kind；
  they　have　Alec　anesthetize　someone　before　he　is　executed。　If　he　has　surrendered　or　pleased　them　in
  some　other　way。〃
  〃Anesthetic？　But　how　is　that　more　dangerous　than　Jane？〃
  〃Because　he　cuts　off　your　senses　altogether。　No　pain；　but　also　no　sight　or　sound　or　smell。　Total　sensory
  deprivation。　You　are　utterly　alone　in　the　blackness。　You　don't　even　feel　it　when　they　burn　you。〃
  I　shivered。　Was　this　the　best　we　could　hope　for？　To　not　see　or　feel　death　when　it　came？
  〃That　would　make　him　only　equally　as　dangerous　as　Jane；〃　Edward　went　on　in　the　same　detached　voice；
  〃in　that　they　both　can　incapacitate　you；　make　you　into　a　helpless　target。　The　difference　between　them　is
  like　the　difference　between　Aro　and　me。　Aro　hears　the　mind　of　only　one　person　at　a　time。　Jane　can　only
  hurt　the　one　object　of　her　focus。　I　can　hear　everyone　at　the　same　time。〃
  I　felt　cold　as　I　saw　where　he　was　going。　〃And　Alec　can　incapacitate　us　all　at　the　same　time？〃　I
  whispered。
  〃Yes；〃　he　said。　〃If　he　uses　his　gift　against　us；　we　will　all　stand　blind　and　deaf　until　they　get　around　to
  killingus—maybe　they'll　simply　burn　us　without　bothering　to　tear　us　apart　first。　Oh；　we　could　try　to　fight；
  but　we'll　be　more　likely　to　hurt　one　another　than　we　would　be　to　hurt　one　of　them。〃
  We　walked　in　silence　for　a　few　seconds。
  An　idea　was　shaping　itself　in　my　head。　Not　very　promising；　but　better　than　nothing。
  〃Do　you　think　Alec　is　a　very　good　fighter？〃　I　asked。　〃Aside　from　what　he　can　do；　I　mean。　If　he　had　to
  fight　without　his　gift。　I　wonder　if　he's　ever　even　tried___〃
  Edward　glanced　at　me　sharply。　〃What　are　you　thinking？〃
  I　looked　straight　ahead。　〃Well；　he　probably　can't　do　that　to　me；　can　he？　If　what　he　does　is　like　Aro　and
  Jane　and　you。　Maybe。。。　if　he's　never　really　had　to　defend　himself。。。　and　I　learned　a　few　tricks—〃
  〃He's　been　with　the　Volturi　for　centuries；〃　Edward　cut　me　off；　his　voice　abruptly　panicked。　He　was
  probably　seeing　the　same　image　in　his　head　that　I　was：　the　Cullens　standing　helpless；　senseless　pillars　on
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  thekillingfield—all　but　me。　I'd　be　the　only　one　who　could　fight。　〃Yes；　you're　surely　immune　to　his　power；
  but　you　are　still　a　newborn；　Bella。　I　can't　make　you　that　strong　a　fighter　in　a　few　weeks。　I'm　sure　he's　had
  training。〃
  〃Maybe；　maybe　not。　It's　the　one　thing　I　can　do　that　no　one