pressed　it　against　my　cheek。　Warmer　than　before；　but　it　felt　cool　against　my　skin；　like　most　things　did。
  〃More　than　anyone　else；　you've　got　some　magic　waiting　to　make　things　right　for　you。〃
  〃What　are　you　babbling　about？〃
  Still　smiling。　〃Edward　told　me　once　what　it　was　like—your　imprinting　thing。　He　said　it　was　like　A
  Midsummer　Night's　Dream；　like　magic。　You'll　find　who　you're　really　looking　for；　Jacob；　and　maybe
  then　all　of　this　will　make　sense。〃
  If　she　hadn't　looked　so　fragile　I　would've　been　screaming。
  As　it　was；　I　did　growl　at　her。
  〃If　you　think　that　imprinting　could　ever　make　sense　of　this　insanity　。。。〃　I　struggled　for　words。　〃Do　you
  really　think　that　just　because　I　might　someday　imprint　on　some　stranger　it　would　make　this　right？〃　I
  jabbed　a　finger　toward　her　swollen　body。　〃Tell　me　what　the　point　was　then；　Bella！　What　was　the　point　of
  me　loving　you？　What　was　the　point　of　you　loving　him？　When　you　die〃—the　words　were　a　snarl—〃how
  is　that　ever　right　again？　What's　the　point　to　all　the　pain？　Mine；　yours；　his！　You'll　kill　him；　too；　not　that　I
  care　about　that。〃　She　flinched；　but　I　kept　going。　〃So　what　was　the
  point　of　your　twisted　love　story；　in　the　end？　If　there　is　any　sense；　please　show　me；　Bella；　because　I　don't
  see　it。〃
  She　sighed。　〃I　don't　know　yet；　Jake。　But　I　just。。。　feel。。。　that　this　is　all　going　somewhere　good；　hard　to　see
  as　it　is　now。　I　guess　you　could　call　it　faith。〃
  〃You're　dying　for　nothing；　Bella！　Nothing！〃
  Her　hand　dropped　from　my　face　to　her　bloated　stomach；　caressed　it。　She　didn't　have　to　say　the　words
  for　me　to　know　what　she　was　thinking。　She　was　dying　for　it。
  I'm　not　going　to　die；〃　she　said　through　her　teeth；　and　I　could　tell　she　was　repeating　things　she'd　said
  before。　〃I　will　keep　my　heart　beating。　I'm　strong　enough　for　that。〃
  〃That's　a　load　of　crap；　Bella。　You've　been　trying　to　keep　up　with　the　supernatural　for　too　long。　No
  normal　person　can　do　it。　You're　not　strong　enough。〃　I　took　her　face　in　my　hand。　I　didn't　have　to　remind
  myself　to　be　gentle。　Everything　about　her　screamed　breakable。
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  〃I　can　do　this。　I　can　do　this；〃　she　muttered；　sounding　a　lot　like　that　kids'　book　about　the　little　engine　that
  could。
  〃Doesn't　look　like　it　to　me。　So　what's　your　plan？　I　hope　you　have　one。〃
  She　nodded；　not　meeting　my　eyes。　〃Did　you　know　Esme　jumped　off　a　cliff？　When　she　was　human；　I
  mean。〃
  〃So？〃
  〃So　she　was　close　enough　to　dead　that　they　didn't　even　bother　taking　her　to　the　emergency　room—they
  took　her　right　around　to　the　morgue。　Her　heart　was　still　beating；　though；　when　Carlisle　found　her___〃
  That's　what　she'd　meant　before；　about　keeping　her　heart　beating。
  〃You're　not　planning　on　surviving　this　human；〃　I　stated　dully。
  〃No。　I'm　not　stupid。〃　She　met　my　stare　then。　〃I　guess　you　probably　have　your　own　opinion　on　that　point；
  though。〃
  〃Emergency　vampirization；〃　I　mumbled。
  〃It　worked　for　Esme。　And　Emmett；　and　Rosalie；　and　even　Edward。　None　of　them　were　in　such　great
  shape。　Carlisle　only　changed　them　because　it　was　that　or　death。　He　doesn't　end　lives；　he　saves　them。〃
  I　felt　a　sudden　twinge　of　guilt　about　the　good　vampire　doctor；　like　before。　I　shoved　the　thought　away　and
  started　in　on　the　begging。
  〃Listen　to　me；　Bells。　Don't　do　it　that　way。〃　Like　before；　when　the　call　from　Charlie　had　come；　I　could
  see　how　much　difference　it　really　made　to　me。　I　realized　I　needed　her　to　stay　alive；　in　some　form。　In　any
  form。　I　took　a　deep　breath。　〃Don't　wait　until　it's　too　late；　Bella。　Not　that　way。　Live。　Okay？　Just　live。
  Don't　do　this　to　me。　Don't　do　it　to　him。〃　My　voice　got　harder；　louder。　〃You　know　what　he's　going　to　do
  when　you　die。　You've　seen　it　before。　You　want　him　to　go　back　to　those　Italian　killers？〃　She　cringed　into
  the　sofa。
  I　left　out　the　part　about　how　that　wouldn't　be　necessary　this　time。
  Struggling　to　make　my　voice　softer；　I　asked；　〃Remember　when　I　got　mangled　up　by　those　newborns？
  What　did　you　tell　me？〃
  I　waited；　but　she　wouldn't　answer。　She　pressed　her　lips　together。
  〃You　told　me　to　be　good　and　listen　to　Carlisle；〃　I　reminded　her。　〃And　what　did　I　do？　I　listened　to　the
  vampire。　For
  you。〃
  〃You　listened　because　it　was　the　right　thing　to　do。〃
  〃Okay—pick　either　reason。〃
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  She　took　a　deep　breath。　〃It's　not　the　right　thing　now。〃　Her　gaze　touched　her　big　round　stomach　and　she
  whispered　under　her　breath；　〃I　won't　kill　him。〃
  My　hands　shook　again。　〃Oh；　I　hadn't　heard　the　great　news。　A　bouncing　baby　boy；　huh？　Shoulda　brought
  some　blueballoons。〃
  Her　face　turned　pink。　The　color　was　so　beautiful—it　twisted　in　my　stomach　like　a　knife。　A　serrated
  knife；　rusty　and　ragged。
  I　was　going　to　lose　this。　Again。
  〃I　don't　know　he's　a　boy；〃　she　admitted；　a　little　sheepish。　〃The　ultrasound　wouldn't　work。　The　membrane
  around　the　baby　is　too　hard—like　their　skin。　So　he's　a　little　mystery。　But　I　always　see　a　boy　in　my　head。〃
  〃It's　not　some　pretty　baby　in　there；　Bella。〃
  〃We'll　see；〃　she　said。　Almost　smug。
  〃You　won't；〃　I　snarled。
  〃You're　very　pessimistic；　Jacob。　There　is　definitely　a　chance　that　I　might　walk　away　from　this。〃
  I　couldn't　answer。　I　looked　down　and　breathed　deep　and　slow；　trying　to　get　a　grip　on　my　fury。
  〃Jake；〃　she　said；　and　she　patted　my　hair；　stroked　my　cheek。　〃It's　going　to　be　okay。　Shh。　it's　okay。〃
  I　didn't　look　up。　〃No。　It　will　not　be　okay。〃
  She　wiped　something　wet　from　my　cheek。　〃Shh。〃
  〃What's　the　deal；　Bella？〃　I　stared　at　the　pale　carpet。　My　bare　feet　were　dirty；　leaving　smudges。　Good。　〃I
  thought　the　whole　point　was　that　you　wanted　your　vampire　more　than　anything。　And　now　you're　just
  giving　him　up？　That　doesn't　make　any　sense。　Since　when　are　you　desperate　to　be　a　mom？　If　you　wanted
  that　so　much；　why　did　you　marry　a　vampire？〃
  I　was　dangerously　close　to　that　offer　he　wanted　me　to　make。　I　could　see　the　words　taking　me　that　way；
  but　I　couldn't　change　their　direction。
  She　sighed。　〃It's　not　like　that。　I　didn't　really　care　about　having　a　baby。　I　didn't　even　think　about　it。　It's　not
  just　having　a　baby。　It's。。。　well。。。　this　baby。〃
  〃It's　a　killer；　Bella。　Look　at　yourself。〃
  〃He's　not。　It's　me。　I'm　just　weak　and　human。　But　I　can　tough　this　out；　Jake；　I　can—〃
  〃Aw；　come　on！　Shut　up；　Bella。　You　can　spout　this　crap　to　your　bloodsucker；　but　you're　not　fooling　me。
  You　know　you're　not　going　to　make　it。〃
  She　glared　at　me。　〃I　do　not　know　that。　I'm　worried　about　it；　sure。〃
  〃Worriedabout　it；〃　I　repeated　through　my　teeth。
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  She　gasped　then　and　clutched　at　her　stomach。　My　fury　vanished　like　a　light　switch　being　turned　off。
  〃I'm　fine；〃　she　panted。　It's　nothing。〃
  But　I　didn't　hear；　her　hands　had　pulled　her　sweatshirt　to　the　side；　and　I　stared；　horrified；　at　the　skin　it
  exposed。　Her　stomach　looked　like　it　was　stained　with　big　splotches　of　purple…black　ink。
  She　saw　my　stare；　and　she　yanked　the　fabric　back　in　place。
  〃He's　strong；　that's　all；〃　she　said　defensively。
  The　ink　spots　were　bruises。
  I　almost　gagged；　and　I　understood　what　he'd　said；　about　watching　it　hurt　her。　Suddenly；　I　felt　a　little
  crazy　myself。
  〃Bella；〃　I　said。
  She　heard　the　change　in　my　voice。　She　looked　up；　still　breathing　heavy；　her　eyes　confused。
  〃Bella；　don't　do　this：'
  〃Jake—〃
  〃Listen　to　me。　Don't　get　your　back　up　yet。　Okay？　Just　listen。　What　if。。。　？〃
  〃What　if　what？〃
  〃What　if　this　wasn't　a　one…shot　deal？　What　if　it　wasn't　all　or　nothing？　What　if　you　just　listened　to　Carlisle
  like　a　good　girl；　and　kept　yourself　alive？〃
  〃I　won't—〃
  〃I'm　not　done　yet。　So　you　stay　alive。　Then　you　can　start　over。　This　didn't　work　out。　Try　again。〃
  She　frowned。　She　raised　one　hand　and　touched　the　place　where　my　eyebrows　were　mashing　together。
  Her　fingers　smoothed　my　forehead　for　a　moment　while　she　tried　to　make　sense　of　it。
  〃I　don't　understand。。。。　What　do　you　mean；　try　again？　You　can't　think　Edward　would　let　me。。。　？　And
  what　difference　would　it　make？　I'm　sure　any　baby—〃
  〃Yes；〃　I　snapped。　〃Any　kid　of　his　would　be　the　same。〃
  Her　tired　face　just　got　more　confused。　〃What？〃
  But　I　couldn't　say　any　more。　There　was　no　point。　I　would　never　be　able　to　save　her　from　herself。　I'd
  never　been　able　to　do　that。
  Then　she　blinked；　and　I　could　see　she　got　it。
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  〃Oh。　Ugh。　Please；　Jacob。　You　think　I　should　kill　my　baby　and　replace　it　with　some