Gaudissart　was　thirty…eight　years　of　age；　of　medium　height；　stout　and
  fat　like　men　who　roll　about　continually　in　stage…coaches；　with　a　face
  as　round　as　a　pumpkin；　ruddy　cheeks；　and　regular　features　of　the　type
  which　sculptors　of　all　lands　adopt　as　a　model　for　statues　of
  Abundance；　Law；　Force；　Commerce；　and　the　like。　His　protuberant　stomach
  swelled　forth　in　the　shape　of　a　pear；　his　legs　were　small；　but　active
  and　vigorous。　He　caught　Jenny　up　in　his　arms　like　a　baby　and　kissed
  her。
  〃Hold　your　tongue；　young　woman！〃　he　said。　〃What　do　you　know　about
  Saint…Simonism；　antagonism；　Fourierism；　criticism；　heroic　enterprise；
  or　woman's　freedom？　I'll　tell　you　what　they　are；ten　francs　for　each
  subscription；　Madame　Gaudissart。〃
  〃On　my　word　of　honor；　you　are　going　crazy；　Gaudissart。〃
  〃More　and　more　crazy　about　YOU；〃　he　replied；　flinging　his　hat　upon　the
  sofa。
  The　next　morning　Gaudissart；　having　breakfasted　gloriously　with　Jenny；
  departed　on　horseback　to　work　up　the　chief　towns　of　the　district　to
  which　he　was　assigned　by　the　various　enterprises　in　whose　interests　he
  was　now　about　to　exercise　his　great　talents。　After　spending　forty…five
  days　in　beating　up　the　country　between　Paris　and　Blois；　he　remained
  two　weeks　at　the　latter　place　to　write　up　his　correspondence　and　make
  short　visits　to　the　various　market　towns　of　the　department。　The　night
  before　he　left　Blois　for　Tours　he　indited　a　letter　to　Mademoiselle
  Jenny　Courand。　As　the　conciseness　and　charm　of　this　epistle　cannot　be
  equalled　by　any　narration　of　ours；　and　as；　moreover；　it　proves　the
  legitimacy　of　the　tie　which　united　these　two　individuals；　we　produce
  it　here：
  〃My　dear　Jenny；You　will　lose　your　wager。　Like　Napoleon；
  Gaudissart　the　illustrious　has　his　star；　but　NOT　his　Waterloo。　I
  triumph　everywhere。　Life　insurance　has　done　well。　Between　Paris
  and　Blois　I　lodged　two　millions。　But　as　I　get　to　the　centre　of
  France　heads　become　infinitely　harder　and　millions　correspondingly
  scarce。　The　article　Paris　keeps　up　its　own　little　jog…trot。　It　is
  a　ring　on　the　finger。　With　all　my　well…known　cunning　I　spit　these
  shop…keepers　like　larks。　I　got　off　one　hundred　and　sixty…two
  Ternaux　shawls　at　Orleans。　I　am　sure　I　don't　know　what　they　will
  do　with　them；　unless　they　return　them　to　the　backs　of　the　sheep。
  〃As　to　the　article　journalthe　devil！　that's　a　horse　of　another
  color。　Holy　saints！　how　one　has　to　warble　before　you　can　teach
  these　bumpkins　a　new　tune。　I　have　only　made　sixty…two　'Movements'：
  exactly　a　hundred　less　for　the　whole　trip　than　the　shawls　in　one
  town。　Those　republican　rogues！　they　won't　subscribe。　They　talk；
  they　talk；　they　share　your　opinions；　and　presently　you　are　all
  agreed　that　every　existing　thing　must　be　overturned。　You　feel　sure
  your　man　is　going　to　subscribe。　Not　a　bit　of　it！　If　he　owns　three
  feet　of　ground；　enough　to　grow　ten　cabbages；　or　a　few　trees　to
  slice　into　toothpicks；　the　fellow　begins　to　talk　of　consolidated
  property；　taxes；　revenues；　indemnities；a　whole　lot　of　stuff；　and
  I　have　wasted　my　time　and　breath　on　patriotism。　It's　a　bad
  business！　Candidly；　the　'Movement'　does　not　move。　I　have　written
  to　the　directors　and　told　them　so。　I　am　sorry　for　iton　account
  of　my　political　opinions。
  〃As　for　the　'Globe；'　that's　another　breed　altogether。　Just　set　to
  work　and　talk　new　doctrines　to　people　you　fancy　are　fools　enough
  to　believe　such　lies；why；　they　think　you　want　to　burn　their
  houses　down！　It　is　vain　for　me　to　tell　them　that　I　speak　for
  futurity；　for　posterity；　for　self…interest　properly　understood；
  for　enterprise　where　nothing　can　be　lost；　that　man　has　preyed　upon
  man　long　enough；　that　woman　is　a　slave；　that　the　great
  providential　thought　should　be　made　to　triumph；　that　a　way　must　be
  found　to　arrive　at　a　rational　co…ordination　of　the　social　fabric；
  in　short；　the　whole　reverberation　of　my　sentences。　Well；　what　do
  you　think？　when　I　open　upon　them　with　such　ideas　these　provincials
  lock　their　cupboards　as　if　I　wanted　to　steal　their　spoons　and　beg
  me　to　go　away！　Are　not　they　fools？　geese？　The　'Globe'　is　smashed。
  I　said　to　the　proprietors；　'You　are　too　advanced；　you　go　ahead　too
  fast：　you　ought　to　get　a　few　results；　the　provinces　like　results。'
  However；　I　have　made　a　hundred　'Globes；'　and　I　must　say；
  considering　the　thick…headedness　of　these　clodhoppers；　it　is　a
  miracle。　But　to　do　it　I　had　to　make　them　such　a　lot　of　promises
  that　I　am　sure　I　don't　know　how　the　globites；　globists；　globules；
  or　whatever　they　call　themselves；　will　ever　get　out　of　them。　But
  they　always　tell　me　they　can　make　the　world　a　great　deal　better
  than　it　is；　so　I　go　ahead　and　prophesy　to　the　value　of　ten　francs
  for　each　subscription。　There　was　one　farmer　who　thought　the　paper
  was　agricultural　because　of　its　name。　I　Globed　HIM。　Bah！　he　gave
  in　at　once；　he　had　a　projecting　forehead；　all　men　with　projecting
  foreheads　are　ideologists。
  〃But　the　'Children'；　oh！　ah！　as　to　the　'Children'！　I　got　two
  thousand　between　Paris　and　Blois。　Jolly　business！　but　there　is　not
  much　to　say。　You　just　show　a　little　vignette　to　the　mother；
  pretending　to　hide　it　from　the　child：　naturally　the　child　wants　to
  see；　and　pulls　mamma's　gown　and　cries　for　its　newspaper；　because
  'Papa　has　DOT　his。'　Mamma　can't　let　her　brat　tear　the　gown；　the
  gown　costs　thirty　francs；　the　subscription　sixeconomy；　result；
  subscription。　It　is　an　excellent　thing；　meets　an　actual　want；　it
  holds　a　place　between　dolls　and　sugar…plums；　the　two　eternal
  necessities　of　childhood。
  〃I　have　had　a　quarrel　here　at　the　table　d'hote　about　the
  newspapers　and　my　opinions。　I　was　unsuspiciously　eating　my　dinner
  next　to　a　man　with　a　gray　hat　who　was　reading　the　'Debats。'　I　said
  to　myself；　'Now　for　my　rostrum　eloquence。　He　is　tied　to　the
  dynasty；　I'll　cook　him；　this　triumph　will　be　capital　practice　for
  my　ministerial　talents。'　So　I　went　to　work　and　praised　his
  'Debats。'　Hein！　if　I　didn't　lead　him　along！　Thread　by　thread；　I
  began　to　net　my　man。　I　launched　my　four…horse　phrases；　and　the　F…
  sharp　arguments；　and　all　the　rest　of　the　cursed　stuff。　Everybody
  listened；　and　I　saw　a　man　who　had　July　as　plain　as　day　on　his
  mustache；　just　ready　to　nibble　at　a　'Movement。'　Well；　I　don't　know
  how　it　was；　but　I　unluckily　let　fall　the　word　'blockhead。'
  Thunder！　you　should　have　seen　my　gray　hat；　my　dynastic　hat
  （shocking　bad　hat；　anyhow）；　who　got　the　bit　in　his　teeth　and　was
  furiously　angry。　I　put　on　my　grand　airyou　knowand　said　to　him：
  'Ah；　ca！　Monsieur；　you　are　remarkably　aggressive；　if　you　are　not
  content；　I　am　ready　to　give　you　satisfaction；　I　fought　in　July。'
  'Though　the　father　of　a　family；'　he　replied；　'I　am　ready'
  'Father　of　a　family！'　I　exclaimed；　'my　dear　sir；　have　you　any
  children？'　'Yes。'　'Twelve　years　old？'　'Just　about。'　'Well；　then；
  the　〃Children's　Journal〃　is　the　very　thing　for　you；　six　francs　a
  year；　one　number　a　month；　double　columns；　edited　by　great　literary
  lights；　well　got　up；　good　paper；　engravings　from　charming　sketches
  by　our　best　artists；　actual　colored　drawings　of　the　Indieswill
  not　fade。'　I　fired　my　broadside　'feelings　of　a　father；　etc。；
  etc。；'in　short；　a　subscription　instead　of　a　quarrel。　'There's
  nobody　but　Gaudissart　who　can　get　out　of　things　like　that；'　said
  that　little　cricket　Lamard　to　the　big　Bulot　at　the　cafe；　when　he
  told　him　the　story。
  〃I　leave　to…morrow　for　Amboise。　I　shall　do　up　Amboise　in　two　days；
  and　I　will　write　next　from　Tours；　where　I　shall　measure　swords
  with　the　inhabitants　of　that　colorless　region；　colorless；　I　mean；
  from　the　intellectual　and　speculative　point　of　view。　But；　on　the
  word　of　a　Gaudissart；　they　shall　be　toppled　over；　toppled　down
  floored；　I　say。
  〃Adieu；　my　kitten。　Love　me　always；　be　faithful；　fidelity　through
  thick　and　thin　is　one　of　the　attributes　of　the　Free　Woman。　Who　is
  kissing　you　on　the　eyelids？
  〃Thy　Felix　Forever。〃
  CHAPTER　III
  Five　days　later　Gaudissart　started　from　the　Hotel　des　Faisans；　at
  which　he　had　put　up　in　Tours；　and　went　to　Vouvray；　a　rich　and　populous
  district　where　the　public　mind　seemed　to　him　susceptible　of
  cultivation。　Mounted　upon　his　horse；　he　trotted　along　the　embankment
  thinking　no　more　of　his　phrases　than　an　actor　thinks　of　his　part　which
  he　has　played　for　a　hundred　times。　It　was　thus　that　the　illustrious
  Gaudissart　went　his　cheerful　way；　admiring　the　landscape；　and　little
  dreaming　that　in　the　happy　valleys　of　Vouvray　his　commercial
  infallibility　was　about　to　perish。
  Here　a　few　remarks　upon　the　public　mind　of　Touraine　are　essential　to
  our　story。　The　subtle；　satirical；　epigrammatic　tale…telling　spirit
  stamped　on　every　page　of　Rabelais　is　the　faithful　expression　of　the
  Tourangian　mind；a　mind　polished　and　refined　as　it　should　be　in　a
  land　where　the　kings　of　F