第 30 节
作者:寻找山吹      更新:2022-11-28 19:12      字数:9322
  could   not   help   noting   an   air   of   unwonted   excitement   about   the   place;
  usually   so   aloof;   so   coldly   serene。  Automobiles   standing   out   in   front。
  People going up and down。            They didn't look very cheerful。          Just as if it
  mattered whether anything happened to her or not!
  Tessie    walked    around    the   block   and   stood   a  moment;     uncertainly。
  Then she struck off down Grand Avenue and past Donovan's pool shack。
  A little group of after…supper idlers stood outside; smoking and gossiping;
  as   she   knew   there   would   be。    As   she   turned   the   corner   she   saw   Nap
  Ballou     among     them。    She    had   known     that;  too。   As    she   passed   she
  looked straight ahead; without bowing。             But just past the Burke House he
  caught up with her。        No half…shy 〃Can I walk home with you?〃 from Nap
  Ballou。     No。     Instead: 〃Hello; sweetheart!〃
  〃Hello; yourself。〃
  〃Somebody's       looking    mighty     pretty  this   evening;    all  dolled   up  in
  pink。〃
  〃Think so?〃      She tried to be pertly indifferent; but it was good to have
  someone following; someone   walking home   with   you。                 What   if   he   was
  old enough to be her father; with graying hair?              Lots of the movie heroes
  had graying hair at the sides。
  They   walked   for   an   hour。    Tessie   left   him   at   the   corner。 She   had
  once heard her father designate Ballou as 〃that drunken skunk。〃                     When
  she entered the sitting room her cheeks held an unwonted pink。                   Her eyes
  were   brighter     than  they   had   been   in  months。     Her    mother    looked    up
  quickly; peering at her over a pair of steel…rimmed spectacles; very much
  askew。
  〃Where you been; Tessie?〃
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  〃Oh; walkin'。〃
  〃Who with?〃
  〃Cora。〃
  〃Why; she was here; callin' for you; not more'n an hour ago。〃
  Tessie; taking off her hat on her way upstairs; met this coolly。              〃Yeh; I
  ran into her comin' back。〃
  Upstairs; lying fully dressed on her hard little bed; she stared up into
  the darkness; thinking; her hands limp at her sides。               Oh; well; what's the
  diff?    You had to make the best of it。         Everybody makin' a fuss about the
  soldiersfeeding   'em;   and   asking   'em   to   their   houses;   and   sending   'em
  things;   and   giving   dances   and   picnics   and   parties   so   they   wouldn't   be
  lonesome。       Chuck   had   told   her   all   about   it。 The   other   boys   told   the
  same。     They could just pick and choose their good times。                Tessie's mind
  groped   about;   sensing   a   certain   injustice。    How   about   the   girls?     She
  didn't put it thus squarely。       Hers was not a logical mind。          Easy enough to
  paw over the men… folks and get silly over brass buttons and a uniform。
  She    put   it  that  way。   She     thought    of  the  refrain   of  a  popular    song:
  〃What      Are   You   Going     to  Do   to  Help   the   Boys?〃     Tessie;    smiling    a
  crooked little   smile   up   there   in   the   darkness;   parodied   the   words   deftly:
  〃What're you going to do to help the girls?〃 she demanded。                  〃What're you
  going to do〃       She rolled over on one side and buried her head in her
  arms。
  There was news again next morning at the watch factory。                   Tessie of
  the old days had never needed to depend on the other girls for the latest bit
  of gossip。     Her alert eye and quick ear had always caught it first。              But of
  late she had led a cloistered existence; indifferent to the world about her。
  The   Chippewa   Courier   went   into   the   newpaper   pile   behind   the   kitchen
  door without a glance from Tessie's incurious eye。
  She was late this morning。           As she sat down at the bench and fitted
  her glass in her eye; the chatter of the others; pitched in the high key of
  unusual excitement; penetrated even her listlessness。
  〃And they say she never screeched or fainted or anything。                  She stood
  there; kind of quiet; looking straight ahead; and then all of a sudden she
  ran to her pa〃
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  〃I feel sorry for her。     She never did anything to me。          She〃
  Tessie spoke; her voice penetrating the staccato fragments all about her
  and gathering them into a whole。           〃Say; who's the heroine of this picture?
  I come in in the middle of the film; I guess。〃
  They   turned   on   her   with   the   unlovely   eagerness   of   those   who   have
  ugly news to tell。      They all spoke at once; in short sentences; their voices
  high with the note of hysteria。
  〃Angie Hatton's beau was killed〃
  〃They say his airyoplane fell ten thousand feet〃
  〃The news come only last evening about eight〃
  〃She won't see nobody but her pa〃
  Eight!    At   eight   Tessie   had   been   standing   outside   Hatton's     house;
  envying   Angie   and   hating   her。     So   that   explained   the   people;   and   the
  automobiles; and the excitement。           Tessie was not receiving the news with
  the dramatic reaction which its purveyors felt it deserved。              Tessie; turning
  from one to the other quietly; had said nothing。              She was pitying Angie。
  Oh; the luxury of it!       Nap Ballou; coming in swiftly to still the unwonted
  commotion in work hours; found Tessie the only one quietly occupied in
  that chatter…filled room。        She was smiling as she worked。             Nap Ballou;
  bending   over   her   on   some   pretense   that   deceived   no   one;   spoke   low…
  voiced in her ear。       But she veiled her eyes insolently and did not glance
  up。    She hummed contentedly all the morning at her tedious work。
  She   had   promised   Nap   Ballou   to   go   picknicking   with   him   Sunday。
  Down   the   river;   boating;   with   supper   on   shore。    The   small;   still   voice
  within her had said; 〃Don't go!          Don't go!〃      But the harsh; high…pitched;
  reckless   overtone   said;  〃Go   on!     Have   a   good   time。    Take   all   you   can
  get。〃
  She would have to lie at home and she did it。             Some fabrication about
  the girls at the watchworks did the trick。           Fried chicken; chocolate cake。
  She packed them deftly and daintily。             High…heeled shoes; flimsy blouse;
  rustling skirt。    Nap Ballou was waiting for her over in the city park。              She
  saw him before he espied her。          He was leaning against a tree; idly; staring
  straight ahead with queer; lackluster eyes。            Silhouetted there against the
  tender   green    of  the   pretty   square;   he  looked    very   old;  somehow;     and
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  different much older than he looked in his shop clothes; issuing orders。
  Tessie    noticed    that  he   sagged    where    he  should    have   stuck   out;   and
  protruded where he should have been flat。             There flashed across her mind
  a vividly clear picture of Chuck as she had last seen himbrown; fit; high
  of chest; flat of stomach; slim of flank。
  Ballou    saw    her。   He    straightened     and   came    toward    her   swiftly。
  〃Somebody looks mighty sweet this afternoon。〃
  Tessie plumped the heavy lunch box into his arms。               〃When you get a
  line you like you stick to it; don't you?〃
  Down at the boathouse even Tessie; who had confessed ignorance of
  boats and oars; knew that Ballou was fumbling clumsily。                  He stooped to
  adjust the oars to the oarlocks。         His hat was off。       His hair looked very
  gray in the cruel spring sunshine。         He straightened and smiled up at her。
  〃Ready in a minute; sweetheart;〃 he said。            He took off his collar and
  turned in the neckband of his shirt。         His skin was very white。         Tessie felt
  a little shudder of disgust sweep over her; so that she stumbled a little as
  she stepped into the boat。
  The river was very lovely。        Tessie trailed her fingers in the water and
  told   herself   that   she   was   having   a   grand   time。 She   told   Nap   the   same
  when he asked her。
  〃Having a good time; little beauty?〃 he said。            He was puffing a little
  with the unwonted exercise。
  Tessie   tried   some   of  her   old…time   pertness    of  speech。    〃Oh;    good
  enough; c