第 26 节
作者:乐乐陶陶      更新:2022-11-23 12:11      字数:9321
  farewell。〃
  But John let the golden collar fall on the marble floor。
  〃Tell your master that we shall talk together again; in due
  time;〃 said he; as he passed sadly out of
  the hall。
  The love of Athenais and Hermas was like a tiny rivulet
  that sinks out of sight in a cavern; but emerges again a
  bright and brimming stream。  The careless comradery of
  childhood was mysteriously changed into a complete
  companionship。
  When Athenais entered the House of the Golden Pillars as
  a bride; all the music of life came with her。  Hermas called
  the feast of her welcome 〃the banquet of the full chord。〃  Day
  after day; night after night; week after week; month after
  month; the bliss of the home unfolded like a rose of a
  thousand leaves。  When a child came to them; a strong;
  beautiful boy; worthy to be the heir of such a house; the
  heart of the rose was filled with overflowing fragrance。
  Happiness was heaped upon happiness。  Every wish brought its
  own accomplishment。  Wealth; honour; beauty; peace; loveit
  was an abundance of felicity so great that the soul of Hermas
  could hardly contain it。
  Strangely enough; it began to press upon him; to trouble
  him with the very excess of joy。  He felt as if there were
  something yet needed to complete and secure it all。  There was an
  urgency within him; a longing to find some outlet for his
  feelings; he knew not howsome expression and culmination of his
  happiness; he knew not what。
  Under his joyous demeanour a secret fire of restlessness
  began to burnan expectancy of something yet to come which
  should put the touch of perfection on his life。  He spoke of
  it to Athenais; as they sat together; one summer evening; in
  a bower of jasmine; with their boy playing at their feet。
  There had been music in the garden; but now the singers and
  lute…players had withdrawn; leaving the master and mistress
  alone in the lingering twilight; tremulous with inarticulate
  melody of unseen birds。  There was a secret voice in the hour
  seeking vainly for utterance a word waiting to be spoken。
  〃How deep is our happiness; my beloved!〃 said Hermas;
  〃deeper than the sea that slumbers yonder; below the city。
  And yet it is not quite full and perfect。  There is a depth of
  joy that we have not yet knowna repose of happiness that is
  still beyond us。  What is it?  I have no superstitions; like the
  king who cast his signet…ring into the sea because he dreaded
  that some secret vengeance would fall on his unbroken good
  fortune。  That was an idle terror。  But there is something
  that oppresses me like an invisible burden。  There is
  something still undone; unspoken; unfeltsomething that we
  need to complete everything。  Have you not felt it; too?  Can
  you not lead me to it?〃
  〃Yes;〃 she answered; lifting her eyes to his face; 〃I;
  too; have felt it; Hermas; this burden; this need; this
  unsatisfied longing。  I think I know what it means。  It is
  gratitudethe language of the heart; the music of happiness。
  There is no perfect joy without gratitude。  But we have never
  learned it; and the want of it troubles us。  It is like being
  dumb with a heart full of love。  We must find the word for it;
  and say it together。  Then we shall be perfectly joined in
  perfect joy。  Come; my dear lord; let us take the boy with us;
  and give thanks。〃
  Hermas lifted the child in his arms; and turned with
  Athenais into the depth of the garden。  There was a dismantled
  shrine of some forgotten fashion of worship half…hidden among the
  luxuriant flowers。  A fallen image lay beside it; face downward
  in the grass。  They stood there; hand in hand; the boy drowsily
  resting on his father's shoulder。
  Silently the roseate light caressed the tall spires of the
  cypress…trees; silently the shadows gathered at their feet;
  silently the tranquil stars looked out from the deepening arch
  of heaven。  The very breath of being paused。  It was the hour
  of culmination; the supreme moment of felicity waiting for its
  crown。  The tones of Hermas were clear and low as he began;
  half…speaking and half…chanting; in the rhythm of an ancient
  song:
  〃Fair is the world; the sea; the sky; the double kingdom
  of day and night; in the glow of morning; in the shadow of
  evening; and under the dripping light of stars。
  〃Fairer still is life in our breasts; with its manifold
  music and meaning; with its wonder of seeing and hearing and
  feeling and knowing and being。
  〃Fairer and still more fair is love; that draws us together;
  mingles our lives in its flow; and bears them along like a river;
  strong and clear and swift; reflecting the stars in its bosom。
  〃Wide is our world; we are rich; we have all things。  Life
  is abundant within usa measureless deep。  Deepest of all is
  our love; and it longs to speak。
  〃Come; thou final word; Come; thou crown of speech!  Come;
  thou charm of peace!  Open the gates of our hearts。  Lift the
  weight of our joy and bear it upward。
  〃For all good gifts; for all perfect gifts; for love; for
  life; for the world; we praise; we bless; we thank〃
  As a soaring bird; struck by an arrow; falls headlong from
  the sky; so the song of Hermas fell。  At the end of his flight
  of gratitude there was nothinga blank; a hollow space。
  He looked for a face; and saw a void。  He sought for a
  hand; and clasped vacancy。  His heart was throbbing and
  swelling with passion; the bell swung to and fro within him;
  beating from side to side as if it would burst; but not a
  single note came from it。  All the fulness of his feeling;
  that had risen upward like a fountain; fell back from the empty
  sky; as cold as snow; as hard as hail; frozen and dead。  There
  was no meaning in his happiness。  No one had sent it to him。
  There was no one to thank for it。  His felicity was a closed
  circle; a wall of ice。
  〃Let us go back;〃 he said sadly to Athenais; 〃the child is
  heavy upon my shoulder。  We will lay him to sleep; and go into
  the library。  The air grows chilly。  We were mistaken。  The
  gratitude of life is only a dream。  There is no one to thank。〃
  And in the garden it was already night。
  V
  No outward change came to the House of the Golden Pillars。
  Everything moved as smoothly; as delicately; as prosperously;
  as before。  But inwardly there was a subtle; inexplicable
  transformation。  A vague discontent; a final and inevitable
  sense of incompleteness; overshadowed existence from that
  night when Hermas realised that his joy could never go beyond
  itself。
  The next morning the old man whom he had seen in the Grove
  of Daphne; but never since; appeared mysteriously at the door
  of the house; as if he had been sent for; and entered like an
  invited guest。
  Hermas could not but make him welcome; and at first he
  tried to regard him with reverence and affection as the one
  through whom fortune had come。  But it was impossible。  There
  was a chill in the inscrutable smile of Marcion; as he called
  himself; that seemed to mock at reverence。  He was in the
  house as one watching a strange experimenttranquil;
  interested; ready to supply anything that might be needed for
  its completion; but thoroughly indifferent to the feelings of
  the subject; an anatomist of life; looking curiously to see
  how long it would continue; and how it would act; after the
  heart had been removed。
  In his presence Hermas was conscious of a certain
  irritation; a resentful anger against the calm; frigid
  scrutiny of the eyes that followed him everywhere; like a pair
  of spies; peering out over the smiling mouth and the long
  white beard。
  〃Why do you look at me so curiously?〃 asked Hermas; one
  morning; as they sat together in the library。  〃Do you see
  anything strange in me?〃
  〃No;〃 answered  Marcion; 〃something familiar。〃
  〃And what is that?〃
  〃A singular likeness to a discontented young man that I
  met some years ago in the Grove of Daphne。〃
  〃But why should that interest you?  Surely it was to be
  expected。〃
  〃A thing that we expect often surprises us when we see it。
  Besides; my curiosity is piqued。  I suspect you of keeping a
  secret from me。〃
  〃You are jesting with me。  There is nothing in my life
  that you do not know。  What is the secret?〃
  〃Nothing more than the wish to have one。  You are growing
  tired of your bargain。  The play wearies you。  That is
  foolish。  Do you want to try a new part?〃
  The question was like a mirror upon which one comes
  suddenly in a half…lighted room。  A quick illumination falls on
  it; and the passer…by is startled by the look of his own face。
  〃You are right;〃 said Hermas。  〃I am tired。  We have been
  going on stupidly in this house; as if nothing were possible
  but what my father had done before me。  There is nothing
  original in being rich; and well…fed; and well…dressed。
  Thousands of men have tried it; and have not been satisfied。  Let
  us do something new。  Let us make a mark in the world。〃
  〃It is well said;〃 nodded the old man; 〃you are speaking
  again like a man after my own heart。  There is no folly but
  the loss of an opportunity to enjoy a new sensation。〃
  From that day Hermas seemed to be possessed with a
  perpetual haste; an uneasiness that left him no repose。  The
  summit of life had been attained; the highest possible point
  of felicity。  Henceforward