第 25 节
作者:乐乐陶陶      更新:2022-11-23 12:11      字数:9322
  him。  A cool languor of delight flowed back through every
  vein; and he sank into a profound sleep。
  III
  There is a slumber so deep that it annihilates time。  It is
  like a fragment of eternity。  Beneath its enchantment of
  vacancy; a day seems like a thousand years; and a thousand
  years might well pass as one day。
  It was such a sleep that fell upon Hermas in the Grove of
  Daphne。  An immeasurable period; an interval of life so blank
  and empty that he could not tell whether it was long or short;
  had passed over him when his senses began to stir again。  The
  setting sun was shooting arrows of gold under the glossy
  laurel…leaves。  He rose and stretched his arms; grasping a
  smooth branch above him and shaking it; to make sure that he
  was alive。  Then he hurried back toward Antioch; treading
  lightly as if on air。
  The ground seemed to spring beneath his feet。  Already his
  life had changed; he knew not how。  Something that did not
  belong to him had dropped away; he had returned to a former
  state of being。 He felt as if anything might happen to him; and
  he was ready for anything。  He was a new man; yet curiously
  familiar to himselfas if he had done with playing a tiresome
  part and returned to his natural state。  He was buoyant and free;
  without a care; a doubt; a fear。
  As he drew near to his father's house he saw a confusion
  of servants in the porch; and the old steward ran down to meet
  him at the gate。
  〃Lord; we have been seeking you everywhere。  The master is
  at the point of death; and has sent for you。  Since the sixth
  hour he calls your name continually。  Come to him quickly;
  lord; for I fear the time is short。〃
  Hermas entered the house at once; nothing could amaze him
  to…day。  His father lay on an ivory couch in the inmost
  chamber; with shrunken face and restless eyes; his lean
  fingers picking incessantly at the silken coverlet。
  〃My son!〃 he murmured; 〃Hermas; my son!  It is good that
  you have come back to me。  I have missed you。  I was wrong to
  send you away。  You shall never leave me again。  You are my
  son; my heir。  I have changed everything。  Hermas; my son; come
  nearerclose beside me。  Take my hand; my son!〃
  The young man obeyed; and; kneeling by the couch; gathered
  his father's cold; twitching fingers in his firm; warm grasp。
  〃Hermas; life is passinglong; rich; prosperous; the last
  sands; I cannot stay them。  My religion; a good policyJulian
  was my friend。  But now he is gonewhere?  My soul is
  emptynothing beyondvery darkI am afraid。  But you know
  something better。  You found something that made you willing
  to give up your life for itit; must have been almost like
  dyingyet you were happy。  What was it you found?  See; I am
  giving you everything。  I have forgiven you。  Now forgive me。
  Tell me; what is it?  Your secret; your faithgive it to me
  before I go。〃
  At the sound of this broken pleading a strange passion of
  pity and love took the young man by the throat。  His voice
  shook a little as he answered eagerly:
  〃Father; there is nothing to forgive。  I am your son; I will
  gladly tell you all that I know。  I will give you the secret。
  Father; you must believe with all your heart; and soul; and
  strength in〃
  Where was the wordthe word that he had been used to
  utter night and morning; the word that had meant to him more
  than he had ever known?  What had become of it?
  He groped for it in the dark room of his mind。  He had
  thought he could lay his hand upon it in a moment; but it was
  gone。  Some one had taken it away。  Everything else was most
  clear to him: the terror of death; the lonely soul appealing
  from his father's eyes; the instant need of comfort and help。
  But at the one point where he looked for help he could find
  nothing; only an empty space。  The word of hope had vanished。
  He felt for it blindly and in desperate haste。
  〃Father; wait!  I have forgotten somethingit has slipped
  away from me。  I shall find it in a moment。  There is hopeI
  will tell you presentlyoh; wait!〃
  The bony hand gripped his like a vice; the glazed eyes opened
  wider。  〃Tell me;〃 whispered the old man; 〃tell me quickly; for I
  must go。〃
  The voice sank into a dull rattle。  The fingers closed
  once more; and relaxed。  The light behind the eyes went out。
  Hermas; the master of the House of the Golden Pillars; was
  keeping watch by the dead。
  IV
  The break with the old life was as clean as if it had been cut
  with a knife。  Some faint image of a hermit's cell; a bare
  lodging in a back street of Antioch; a class…room full of
  earnest students; remained in Hermas' memory。  Some dull echo
  of the voice of John the Presbyter; and the measured sound of
  chanting; and the murmur of great congregations; still
  lingered in his ears; but it was like something that had
  happened to another person; something that he had read long
  ago; but of which he had lost the meaning。
  His new life was full and smooth and richtoo rich for
  any sense of loss to make itself felt。  There were a hundred
  affairs to busy him; and the days ran swiftly by as if they were
  shod with winged sandals。
  Nothing needed to be considered; prepared for; begun。
  Everything was ready and waiting for him。  All that he had to
  do was to go on。
  The estate of Demetrius was even greater than the world
  had supposed。  There were fertile lands in Syria which the
  emperor had given him; marble…quarries in Phrygia; and forests
  of valuable timber in Cilicia; the vaults of the villa
  contained chests of gold and silver; the secret cabinets in
  the master's room were full of precious stones。  The stewards
  were diligent and faithful。  The servants of the household
  rejoiced at the young master's return。  His table was spread;
  the rose…garland of pleasure was woven for his head; his cup
  was overflowing with the spicy wine of power。
  The period of mourning for his father came at a fortunate
  moment to seclude and safeguard him from the storm of
  political troubles and persecutions that fell upon Antioch
  after the insults offered by the people to the imperial
  statues in the year 387。  The friends of Demetrius; prudent and
  conservative persons; gathered around Hermas and made him welcome
  to their circle。  Chief among them was Libanius; the sophist; his
  nearest neighbour; whose daughter Athenais had been the playmate
  of Hermas in the old days。
  He had left her a child。  He found her a beautiful woman。
  What transformation is so magical; so charming; as this?  To
  see the uncertain lines of youth rounded into firmness and
  symmetry; to discover the half…ripe; merry; changing face of
  the girl matured into perfect loveliness; and looking at you
  with calm; clear; serious eyes; not forgetting the past; but
  fully conscious of the changed presentthis is to behold a
  miracle in the flesh。
  〃Where have you been; these two years?〃 said Athenais; as
  they walked together through the garden of lilies where they
  had so often played。
  〃In a land of tiresome dreams;〃 answered Hermas; 〃but you
  have wakened me; and I am never going back again。〃
  It was not to be supposed that the sudden disappearance of
  Hermas from among his former associates could long remain
  unnoticed。  At first it was a mystery。  There was a fear; for two
  or three days; that he might be lost。  Some of his more intimate
  companions maintained that his devotion had led him out into the
  desert to join the anchorites。  But the news of his return to the
  House of the Golden Pillars; and of his new life as its
  master; filtered quickly through the gossip of the city。
  Then the church was filled with dismay and grief and
  reproach。  Messengers and letters were sent to Hermas。  They
  disturbed him a little; but they took no hold upon him。  It
  seemed to him as if the messengers spoke in a strange
  language。  As he read the letters there were words blotted out
  of the writing which made the full sense unintelligible。
  His old companions came to reprove him for leaving them;
  to warn him of the peril of apostasy; to entreat him to
  return。  It all sounded vague and futile。  They spoke as if he
  had betrayed or offended some one; but when they came to name
  the object of his fearthe one whom he had displeased; and to
  whom he should returnhe heard nothing; there was a blur of
  silence in their speech。  The clock pointed to the hour; but the
  bell did not strike。  At last Hermas refused to see them any
  more。
  One day John the Presbyter stood in the atrium。  Hermas
  was entertaining Libanius and Athenais in the banquet…hall。
  When the visit of the Presbyter was announced; the young
  master loosed a collar of gold and jewels from his neck; and
  gave it to his scribe。
  〃Take this to John of Antioch; and tell him it is a gift
  from his former pupilas a token of remembrance; or to spend
  for the poor of the city。  I will always send him what he
  wants; but it is idle for us to talk together any more。  I do
  not understand what he says。  I have not gone to the temple;
  nor offered sacrifice; nor denied his teaching。  I have simply
  forgotten。  I do not think about those things any longer。  I
  am only living。  A happy man wishes him all happiness and
  farewell。〃
  But John let the golden collar fall on the marble floor。
  〃Tell your mast