第 37 节
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左思右想 更新:2022-08-26 22:14 字数:9321
ed; intolerant; and wholly unjustifiable on the ground of common sense。 My conscience will not let me be either a Puseyite or a Hookist; MAIS; if I were a Dissenter; I would have taken the first opportunity of kicking; or of horse…whipping both the gentlemen for their stern; bitter attack on my religion and its teachers。 But in spite of all this; I admired the noble integrity which could dictate so fearless an opposition against so strong an antagonist。
〃P。S。Mr。 W。 has given another lecture at the Keighley Mechanics' Institution; and papa has also given a lecture; both are spoken of very highly in the newspapers; and it is mentioned as a matter of wonder that such displays of intellect should emanate from the village of Haworth; 'situated among the bogs and mountains; and; until very lately; supposed to be in a state of semi…barbarism。' Such are the words of the newspaper。〃
To fill up the account of this outwardly eventless year; I may add a few more extracts from the letters entrusted to me。
〃May 15th; 1840。
〃Do not be over…persuaded to marry a man you can never respectI do not say LOVE; because; I think; if you can respect a person before marriage; moderate love at least will come after; and as to intense PASSION; I am convinced that that is no desirable feeling。 In the first place; it seldom or never meets with a requital; and; in the second place; if it did; the feeling would be only temporary: it would last the honeymoon; and then; perhaps; give place to disgust; or indifference; worse; perhaps; than disgust。 Certainly this would be the case on the man's part; and on the woman'sGod help her; if she is left to love passionately and alone。
〃I am tolerably well convinced that I shall never marry at all。 Reason tells me so; and I am not so utterly the slave of feeling but that I can OCCASIONALLY HEAR her voice。〃
〃June 2nd; 1840。
〃M。 is not yet come to Haworth; but she is to come on the condition that I first go and stay a few days there。 If all be well; I shall go next Wednesday。 I may stay at G… until Friday or Saturday; and the early part of the following week I shall pass with you; if you will have mewhich last sentence indeed is nonsense; for as I shall be glad to see you; so I know you will be glad to see me。 This arrangement will not allow much time; but it is the only practicable one which; considering all the circumstances; I can effect。 Do not urge me to stay more than two or three days; because I shall be obliged to refuse you。 I intend to walk to Keighley; there to take the coach as far as B…; then to get some one to carry my box; and to walk the rest of the way to G…。 If I manage this; I think I shall contrive very well。 I shall reach B。 by about five o'clock; and then I shall have the cool of the evening for the walk。 I have communicated the whole arrangement to M。 I desire exceedingly to see both her and you。 Good…bye。
C。 B。 C。 B。 C。 B。 C。 B。
〃If you have any better plan to suggest I am open to conviction; provided your plan is practicable。〃
〃August 20th; 1840。
〃Have you seen anything of Miss H。 lately? I wish they; or somebody else; would get me a situation。 I have answered advertisements without number; but my applications have met with no success。
〃I have got another bale of French books from G。 containing upwards of forty volumes。 I have read about half。 They are like the rest; clever; wicked; sophistical; and immoral。 The best of it is; they give one a thorough idea of France and Paris; and are the best substitute for French conversation that I have met with。
〃I positively have nothing more to say to you; for I am in a stupid humour。 You must excuse this letter not being quite as long as your own。 I have written to you soon; that you might not look after the postman in vain。 Preserve this writing as a curiosity in caligraphyI think it is exquisiteall brilliant black blots; and utterly illegible letters。 〃CALIBAN。〃
〃'The wind bloweth where it listeth。 Thou hearest the sound thereof; but canst not tell whence it cometh; nor whither it goeth。' That; I believe; is Scripture; though in what chapter or book; or whether it be correctly quoted; I can't possibly say。 However; it behoves me to write a letter to a young woman of the name of E。; with whom I was once acquainted; 'in life's morning march; when my spirit was young。' This young woman wished me to write to her some time since; though I have nothing to sayI e'en put it off; day by day; till at last; fearing that she will 'curse me by her gods;' I feel constrained to sit down and tack a few lines together; which she may call a letter or not as she pleases。 Now if the young woman expects sense in this production; she will find herself miserably disappointed。 I shall dress her a dish of salmagundiI shall cook a hashcompound a stewtoss up an OMELETTE SOUFFLEE E LA FRANCAISE; and send it her with my respects。 The wind; which is very high up in our hills of Judea; though; I suppose; down in the Philistine flats of B。 parish it is nothing to speak of; has produced the same effects on the contents of my knowledge…box that a quaigh of usquebaugh does upon those of most other bipeds。 I see everything COULEUR DE ROSE; and am strongly inclined to dance a jig; if I knew how。 I think I must partake of the nature of a pig or an assboth which animals are strongly affected by a high wind。 From what quarter the wind blows I cannot tell; for I never could in my life; but I should very much like to know how the great brewing…tub of Bridlington Bay works; and what sort of yeasty froth rises just now on the waves。
〃A woman of the name of Mrs。 B。; it seems; wants a teacher。 I wish she would have me; and I have written to Miss W。 to tell her so。 Verily; it is a delightful thing to live here at home; at full liberty to do just what one pleases。 But I recollect some scrubby old fable about grasshoppers and ants; by a scrubby old knave yclept AEsop; the grasshoppers sang all the summer; and starved all the winter。
〃A distant relation of mine; one Patrick Branwell; has set off to seek his fortune in the wild; wandering; adventurous; romantic; knight…errant…like capacity of clerk on the Leeds and Manchester Railroad。 Leeds and Manchesterwhere are they? Cities in the wilderness; like Tadmor; alias Palmyraare they not?
〃There is one little trait respecting Mr。 W。 which lately came to my knowledge; which gives a glimpse of the better side of his character。 Last Saturday night he had been sitting an hour in the parlour with Papa; and; as he went away; I heard Papa say to him 'What is the matter with you? You seem in very low spirits to… night。' 'Oh; I don't know。 I've been to see a poor young girl; who; I'm afraid; is dying。' 'Indeed; what is her name?' 'Susan Bland; the daughter of John Bland; the superintendent。' Now Susan Bland is my oldest and best scholar in the Sunday…school; and; when I heard that; I thought I would go as soon as I could to see her。 I did go on Monday afternoon; and found her on her way to that 'bourn whence no traveller returns。' After sitting with her some time; I happened to ask her mother; if she thought a little port wine would do her good。 She replied that the doctor had recommended it; and that when Mr。 W。 was last there; he had brought them a bottle of wine and jar of preserves。 She added; that he was always good…natured to poor folks; and seemed to have a deal of feeling and kind…heartedness about him。 No doubt; there are defects in his character; but there are also good qualities 。 。 。 God bless him! I wonder who; with his advantages; would be without his faults。 I know many of his faulty actions; many of his weak points; yet; where I am; he shall always find rather a defender than an accuser。 To be sure; my opinion will go but a very little way to decide his character; what of that? People should do right as far as their ability extends。 You are not to suppose; from all this; that Mr。 W。 and I are on very amiable terms; we are not at all。 We are distant; cold; and reserved。 We seldom speak; and when we do; it is only to exchange the most trivial and common…place remarks。〃
The Mrs。 B。 alluded to in this letter; as in want of a governess; entered into a correspondence with Miss Bronte; and expressed herself much pleased with the letters she received from her; with the 〃style and candour of the application;〃 in which Charlotte had taken care to tell her; that if she wanted a showy; elegant; or fashionable person; her correspondent was not fitted for such a situation。 But Mrs。 B。 required her governess to give instructions in music and singing; for which Charlotte was not qualified: and; accordingly; the negotiation fell through。 But Miss Bronte was not one to sit down in despair after disappointment。 Much as she disliked the life of a private governess; it was her duty to relieve her father of the burden of her support; and this was the only way open to her。 So she set to advertising and inquiring with fresh vigour。
In the meantime; a little occurrence took place; described in one of her letters; which I shall give; as it shows her instinctive aversion to a particular class of men; whose vices some have supposed she looked upon with indulgence。 The