第 35 节
作者:左思右想      更新:2022-08-26 22:14      字数:9322
  prefer this mode of contrivance to having a new face amongst us。  Besides; we do not despair of Tabby's return; and she shall not be supplanted by a stranger in her absence。  I excited aunt's wrath very much by burning the clothes; the first time I attempted to iron; but I do better now。  Human feelings are queer things; I am much happier black…leading the stoves; making the beds; and sweeping the floors at home; than I should be living like a fine lady anywhere else。  I must indeed drop my subscription to the Jews; because I have no money to keep it up。  I ought to have announced this intention to you before; but I quite forgot I was a subscriber。  I intend to force myself to take another situation when I can get one; though I HATE and ABHOR the very thoughts of governess…ship。  But I must do it; and; therefore; I heartily wish I could hear of a family where they need such a commodity as a governess。〃
  CHAPTER IX
  The year 1840 found all the Brontes living at home; except Anne。 As I have already intimated; for some reason with which I am unacquainted; the plan of sending Branwell to study at the Royal Academy had been relinquished; probably it was found; on inquiry; that the expenses of such a life; were greater than his father's slender finances could afford; even with the help which Charlotte's labours at Miss W…'s gave; by providing for Anne's board and education。  I gather from what I have heard; that Branwell must have been severely disappointed when the plan fell through。  His talents were certainly very brilliant; and of this he was fully conscious; and fervently desired; by their use; either in writing or drawing; to make himself a name。  At the same time; he would probably have found his strong love of pleasure and irregular habits a great impediment in his path to fame; but these blemishes in his character were only additional reasons why he yearned after a London life; in which he imagined he could obtain every stimulant to his already vigorous intellect; while at the same time he would have a license of action to be found only in crowded cities。  Thus his whole nature was attracted towards the metropolis; and many an hour must he have spent poring over the map of London; to judge from an anecdote which has been told me。 Some traveller for a London house of business came to Haworth for a night; and according to the unfortunate habit of the place; the brilliant 〃Patrick〃 was sent for to the inn; to beguile the evening by his intellectual conversation and his flashes of wit。 They began to talk of London; of the habits and ways of life there; of the places of amusement; and Branwell informed the Londoner of one or two short cuts from point to point; up narrow lanes or back streets; and it was only towards the end of the evening that the traveller discovered; from his companion's voluntary confession; that he had never set foot in London at all。
  At this time the young man seemed to have his fate in his own hands。  He was full of noble impulses; as well as of extraordinary gifts; not accustomed to resist temptation; it is true; from any higher motive than strong family affection; but showing so much power of attachment to all about him that they took pleasure in believing that; after a time; he would 〃right himself;〃 and that they should have pride and delight in the use he would then make of his splendid talents。  His aunt especially made him her great favourite。  There are always peculiar trials in the life of an only boy in a family of girls。  He is expected to act a part in life; to DO; while they are only to BE; and the necessity of their giving way to him in some things; is too often exaggerated into their giving way to him in all; and thus rendering him utterly selfish。  In the family about whom I am writing; while the rest were almost ascetic in their habits; Branwell was allowed to grow up self…indulgent; but; in early youth; his power of attracting and attaching people was so great; that few came in contact with him who were not so much dazzled by him as to be desirous of gratifying whatever wishes he expressed。  Of course; he was careful enough not to reveal anything before his father and sisters of the pleasures he indulged in; but his tone of thought and conversation became gradually coarser; and; for a time; his sisters tried to persuade themselves that such coarseness was a part of manliness; and to blind themselves by love to the fact that Branwell was worse than other young men。  At present; though he had; they were aware; fallen into some errors; the exact nature of which they avoided knowing; still he was their hope and their darling; their pride; who should some time bring great glory to the name of Bronte。
  He and his sister Charlotte were both slight and small of stature; while the other two were of taller and larger make。  I have seen Branwell's profile; it is what would be generally esteemed very handsome; the forehead is massive; the eye well set; and the expression of it fine and intellectual; the nose too is good; but there are coarse lines about the mouth; and the lips; though of handsome shape; are loose and thick; indicating self…indulgence; while the slightly retreating chin conveys an idea of weakness of will。  His hair and complexion were sandy。  He had enough of Irish blood in him to make his manners frank and genial; with a kind of natural gallantry about them。  In a fragment of one of his manuscripts which I have read; there is a justness and felicity of expression which is very striking。  It is the beginning of a tale; and the actors in it are drawn with much of the grace of characteristic portrait…painting; in perfectly pure and simple language which distinguishes so many of Addison's papers in the 〃Spectator。〃  The fragment is too short to afford the means of judging whether he had much dramatic talent; as the persons of the story are not thrown into conversation。  But altogether the elegance and composure of style are such as one would not have expected from this vehement and ill…fated young man。  He had a stronger desire for literary fame burning in his heart; than even that which occasionally flashed up in his sisters'。  He tried various outlets for his talents。  He wrote and sent poems to Wordsworth and Coleridge; who both expressed kind and laudatory opinions; and he frequently contributed verses to the LEEDS MERCURY。  In 1840; he was living at home; employing himself in occasional composition of various kinds; and waiting till some occupation; for which he might be fitted without any expensive course of preliminary training; should turn up; waiting; not impatiently; for he saw society of one kind (probably what he called 〃life〃) at the Black Bull; and at home he was as yet the cherished favourite。
  Miss Branwell was unaware of the fermentation of unoccupied talent going on around her。  She was not her nieces' confidanteperhaps no one so much older could have been; but their father; from whom they derived not a little of their adventurous spirit; was silently cognisant of much of which she took no note。  Next to her nephew; the docile; pensive Anne was her favourite。  Of her she had taken charge from her infancy; she was always patient and tractable; and would submit quietly to occasional oppression; even when she felt it keenly。  Not so her two elder sisters; they made their opinions known; when roused by any injustice。  At such times; Emily would express herself as strongly as Charlotte; although perhaps less frequently。  But; in general; notwithstanding that Miss Branwell might be occasionally unreasonable; she and her nieces went on smoothly enough; and though they might now and then be annoyed by petty tyranny; she still inspired them with sincere respect; and not a little affection。  They were; moreover; grateful to her for many habits she had enforced upon them; and which in time had become second nature:  order; method; neatness in everything; a perfect knowledge of all kinds of household work; an exact punctuality; and obedience to the laws of time and place; of which no one but themselves; I have heard Charlotte say; could tell the value in after…life; with their impulsive natures; it was positive repose to have learnt implicit obedience to external laws。  People in Haworth have assured me that; according to the hour of daynay; the very minutecould they have told what the inhabitants of the parsonage were about。  At certain times the girls would be sewing in their aunt's bedroomthe chamber which; in former days; before they had outstripped her in their learning; had served them as a schoolroom; at certain (early) hours they had their meals; from six to eight; Miss Branwell read aloud to Mr。 Bronte; at punctual eight; the household assembled to evening prayers in his study; and by nine he; the aunt; and Tabby; were all in bed;the girls free to pace up and down (like restless wild animals) in the parlour; talking over plans and projects; and thoughts of what was to be their future life。
  At the time of which I write; the favourite idea was that of keeping a school。  They thought that; by a little contrivance; and a very little additional building; a small number of pupils; four or six; might be accommodated in the parsonage。  As teaching seemed the only profes