第 2 节
作者:青词      更新:2022-08-26 22:13      字数:9322
  in these rooms for the last hour; and it appeared as though they
  were never visited。  Even the guide had not come on with us; but was
  employed in showing other parties about the fortifications。  It was
  clear that this portion of the building was left desolate; and that
  the experiment might be safely made。  So the sportive rector
  declared that he would for a short time wear the regimentals which
  had once contained the valorous heart of General Chasse。
  With all decorum the Rev。 Mr。 Horne divested himself of the work of
  the London artist's needle; and; carefully placing his own garments
  beyond the reach of dust; essayed to fit himself in military garb。
  At that important momentat the critical instant of the attempt
  the clatter of female voices was heard approaching the chamber。
  They must have suddenly come round some passage corner; for it was
  evident by the sound that they were close upon us before we had any
  warning of their advent。  At this very minute Mr。 Horne was somewhat
  embarrassed in his attempts; and was not fully in possession of his
  usual active powers of movement; nor of his usual presence of mind。
  He only looked for escape; and seeing a door partly open; he with
  difficulty retreated through it; and I followed him。  We found that
  we were in a small dressing…room; and as by good luck the door was
  defended by an inner bolt; my friend was able to protect himself。
  〃There shall be another siege; at any rate as stout as the last;
  before I surrender;〃 said he。
  As the ladies seemed inclined to linger in the room it became a
  matter of importance that the above…named articles should fit; not
  only for ornament but for use。  It was very cold; and Mr。 Horne was
  altogether unused to move in a Highland sphere of life。  But alas;
  alas!  General Chasse had not been nurtured in the classical
  retirement of Ollerton。  The ungiving leather would stretch no point
  to accommodate the divine; though it had been willing to minister to
  the convenience of the soldier。  Mr。 Horne was vexed and chilled;
  and throwing the now hateful garments into a corner; and protecting
  himself from the cold as best he might by standing with his knees
  together and his body somewhat bent so as to give the skirts of his
  coat an opportunity of doing extra duty; he begged me to see if
  those jabbering females were not going to leave him in peace to
  recover his own property。  I accordingly went to the door; and
  opening it to a small extent I peeped through。
  Who shall describe my horror at the sight which I then saw?  The
  scene; which had hitherto been tinted with comic effect; was now
  becoming so decidedly tragic that I did not dare at once to acquaint
  my worthy pastor with that which was occurring;and; alas! had
  already occurred。
  Five country…women of our ownit was easy to know them by their
  dress and general aspectwere standing in the middle of the room;
  and one of them; the centre of the group; the senior harpy of the
  lot; a maiden ladyI could have sworn to thatwith a red nose;
  held in one hand a huge pair of scissors; and in the otherthe
  already devoted goods of my most unfortunate companion!  Down from
  the waistband; through that goodly expanse; a fell gash had already
  gone through and through; and in useless; unbecoming disorder the
  broadcloth fell pendant from her arm on this side and on that。  At
  that moment I confess that I had not the courage to speak to Mr。
  Horne;not even to look at him。
  I must describe that group。  Of the figure next to me I could only
  see the back。  It was a broad back done up in black silk not of the
  newest。  The whole figure; one may say; was dumpy。  The black silk
  was not long; as dresses now are worn; nor wide in its skirts。  In
  every way it was skimpy; considering the breadth it had to cover;
  and below the silk I saw the heels of two thick shoes; and enough to
  swear by of two woollen stockings。  Above the silk was a red and
  blue shawl; and above that a ponderous; elaborate brown bonnet; as
  to the materials of which I should not wish to undergo an
  examination。  Over and beyond this I could only see the backs of her
  two hands。  They were held up as though in wonder at that which the
  red…nosed holder of the scissors had dared to do。
  Opposite to this lady; and with her face fully tamed to me; was a
  kindly…looking; fat motherly woman; with light…coloured hair; not in
  the best order。  She was hot and scarlet with exercise; being
  perhaps too stout for the steep steps of the fortress; and in one
  hand she held a handkerchief; with which from time to time she wiped
  her brow。  In the other hand she held one of the extremities of my
  friend's property; feelinggood; careful soul!what was the
  texture of the cloth。  As she did so; I could see a glance of
  approbation pass across her warm features。  I liked that lady's
  face; in spite of her untidy hair; and felt that had she been alone
  my friend would not have been injured。
  On either side of her there stood a flaxen…haired maiden; with long
  curls; large blue eyes; fresh red cheeks; an undefined lumpy nose;
  and large good…humoured mouth。  They were as like as two peas; only
  that one was half an inch taller than the other; and there was no
  difficulty in discovering; at a moment's glance; that they were the
  children of that over…heated matron who was feeling the web of my
  friend's cloth。
  But the principal figure was she who held the centre place in the
  group。  She was tall and thin; with fierce…looking eyes; rendered
  more fierce by the spectacles which she wore; with a red nose as I
  said before; and about her an undescribable something which quite
  convinced me that she had never knowncould never knowaught of
  the comforts of married life。  It was she who held the scissors and
  the black garments。  It was she who had given that unkind cut。  As I
  looked at her she whisked herself quickly round from one companion
  to the other; triumphing in what she had done; and ready to triumph
  further in what she was about to do。  I immediately conceived a deep
  hatred for that Queen of the Harpies。
  〃Well; I suppose they can't be wanted again;〃 said the mother;
  rubbing her forehead。
  〃Oh dear no!〃 said she of the red nose。  〃They are relics!〃  I
  thought to leap forth; but for what purpose should I have leaped?
  The accursed scissors had already done their work; and the symmetry;
  nay; even the utility of the vestment was destroyed。
  〃General Chasse wore a very good article;I will say that for him;〃
  continued the mother。
  〃Of course he did!〃 said the Queen Harpy。  〃Why should he not;
  seeing that the country paid for it for him?  Well; ladies; who's
  for having a bit?〃
  〃Oh my! you won't go for to cut them up;〃 said the stout back。
  〃Won't I;〃 said the scissors; and she immediately made another
  incision。  〃Who's for having a bit?  Don't all speak at once。〃
  〃I should like a morsel for a pincushion;〃 said flaxen…haired Miss
  No。 1; a young lady about nineteen; actuated by a general affection
  for all sword…bearing; fire…eating heroes。  〃I should like to have
  something to make me think of the poor general!〃
  Snip; snip went the scissors with professional rapidity; and a round
  piece was extracted from the back of the calf of the left leg。  I
  shuddered with horror; and so did the Rev。 Augustus Horne with cold。
  〃I hardly think it's proper to cut them up;〃 said Miss No。 2。
  〃Oh isn't it?〃 said the harpy。  〃Then I'll do what's improper!〃  And
  she got her finger and thumb well through the holes in the scissors'
  handles。  As she spoke resolution was plainly marked on her brow。
  〃Well; if they are to be cut up; I should certainly like a bit for a
  pen…wiper;〃 said No。 2。  No。 2 was a literary young lady with a
  periodical correspondence; a journal; and an album。  Snip; snip went
  the scissors again; and the broad part of the upper right division
  afforded ample materials for a pen…wiper。
  Then the lady with the back; seeing that the desecration of the
  article had been completed; plucked up heart of courage and put in
  her little request; 〃I think I might have a needle…case out of it;〃
  said she; 〃just as a suvneer of the poor general〃and a long
  fragment cut rapidly out of the waistband afforded her unqualified
  delight。
  Mamma; with the hot face and untidy hair; came next。  〃Well; girls;〃
  she said; 〃as you are all served; I don't see why I'm to be left
  out。  Perhaps; Miss Grogram〃she was an old maid; you see
  〃perhaps; Miss Grogram; you could get me as much as would make a
  decent…sized reticule。〃
  There was not the slightest difficulty in doing this。  The harpy in
  the centre again went to work; snip; snip; and extracting from that
  portion of the affairs which usually sustained the greater portion
  of Mr。 Horne's weight two large round pieces of cloth; presented
  them to the well…pleased matron。  〃The general knew well where to
  get a bit of good broadcloth; certainly;〃 said she; again feeling
  the pieces。
  〃And now for No。 1;〃 said she whom I so absolutely hated; 〃I think
  there is still enough for a pair of slippers。  There's nothing so
  nice for the house as good black cloth slippers that are warm to the
  feet and don't show the dirt。〃  And so saying; she spread out on the
  floor the lac