第 29 节
作者:左思右想      更新:2022-08-26 22:12      字数:9322
  You say I will not help you; but your heart knows the
  contrary。  It is you who will not help me; for you will not
  tell me what you want。  You see … or you could see; if you
  took the pains to look … how I have waited here all night to
  be ready at your service。  I only asked information; I only
  urged you to consider; and I still urge and beg you to think
  better of your fancies。  But if your mind is made up; so be
  it; I will beg no longer; I give you my orders; and I will
  not allow … not allow you to go hence alone。'
  She looked at him for awhile with cold; unkind scrutiny like
  one who tries the temper of a tool。
  'Well; take me away; then;' she said with a sigh。
  'Good;' said Dick。  'Come with me to the stables; there we
  shall get the pony…trap and drive to the junction。  To…night
  you shall be in London。  I am yours so wholly that no words
  can make me more so; and; besides; you know it; and the words
  are needless。  May God help me to be good to you; Esther …
  may God help me! for I see that you will not。'
  So; without more speech; they set out together; and were
  already got some distance from the spot; ere he observed that
  she was still carrying the hand…bag。  She gave it up to him;
  passively; but when he offered her his arm; merely shook her
  head and pursed up her lips。  The sun shone clearly and
  pleasantly; the wind was fresh and brisk upon their faces;
  and smelt racily of woods and meadows。  As they went down
  into the valley of the Thyme; the babble of the stream rose
  into the air like a perennial laughter。  On the far…away
  hills; sun…burst and shadow raced along the slopes and leaped
  from peak to peak。  Earth; air and water; each seemed in
  better health and had more of the shrewd salt of life in them
  than upon ordinary mornings; and from east to west; from the
  lowest glen to the height of heaven; from every look and
  touch and scent; a human creature could gather the most
  encouraging intelligence as to the durability and spirit of
  the universe。
  Through all this walked Esther; picking her small steps like
  a bird; but silent and with a cloud under her thick eyebrows。
  She seemed insensible; not only of nature; but of the
  presence of her companion。  She was altogether engrossed in
  herself; and looked neither to right nor to left; but
  straight before her on the road。  When they came to the
  bridge; however; she halted; leaned on the parapet; and
  stared for a moment at the clear; brown pool; and swift;
  transient snowdrift of the rapids。
  'I am going to drink;' she said; and descended the winding
  footpath to the margin。
  There she drank greedily in her hands and washed her temples
  with water。  The coolness seemed to break; for an instant;
  the spell that lay upon her; for; instead of hastening
  forward again in her dull; indefatigable tramp; she stood
  still where she was; for near a minute; looking straight
  before her。  And Dick; from above on the bridge where he
  stood to watch her; saw a strange; equivocal smile dawn
  slowly on her face and pass away again at once and suddenly;
  leaving her as grave as ever; and the sense of distance;
  which it is so cruel for a lover to endure; pressed with
  every moment more heavily on her companion。  Her thoughts
  were all secret; her heart was locked and bolted; and he
  stood without; vainly wooing her with his eves。
  'Do you feel better?' asked Dick; as she at last rejoined
  him; and after the constraint of so long a silence; his voice
  sounded foreign to his own ears。
  She looked at him for an appreciable fraction of a minute ere
  she answered; and when she did; it was in the monosyllable …
  'Yes。'
  Dick's solicitude was nipped and frosted。  His words died
  away on his tongue。  Even his eyes; despairing of
  encouragement; ceased to attend on hers。  And they went on in
  silence through Kirton hamlet; where an old man followed them
  with his eyes; and perhaps envied them their youth and love;
  and across the Ivy beck where the mill was splashing and
  grumbling low thunder to itself in the chequered shadow of
  the dell; and the miller before the door was beating flour
  from his hands as he whistled a modulation; and up by the
  high spinney; whence they saw the mountains upon either hand;
  and down the hill again to the back courts and offices of
  Naseby House。  Esther had kept ahead all the way; and Dick
  plodded obediently in her wake; but as they neared the
  stables; he pushed on and took the lead。  He would have
  preferred her to await him in the road while he went on and
  brought the carriage back; but after so many repulses and
  rebuffs he lacked courage to offer the suggestion。  Perhaps;
  too; he felt it wiser to keep his convoy within sight。  So
  they entered the yard in Indian file; like a tramp and his
  wife。
  The grooms eyebrows rose as he received the order for the
  pony…phaeton; and kept rising during all his preparations。
  Esther stood bolt upright and looked steadily at some
  chickens in the corner of the yard。  Master Richard himself;
  thought the groom; was not in his ordinary; for in truth; he
  carried the hand…bag like a talisman; and either stood
  listless; or set off suddenly walking in one direction after
  another with brisk; decisive footsteps。  Moreover he had
  apparently neglected to wash his hands; and bore the air of
  one returning from a prolonged nutting ramble。  Upon the
  groom's countenance there began to grow up an expression as
  of one about to whistle。  And hardly had the carriage turned
  the corner and rattled into the high road with this
  inexplicable pair; than the whistle broke forth … prolonged;
  and low and tremulous; and the groom; already so far
  relieved; vented the rest of his surprise in one simple
  English word; friendly to the mouth of Jack…tar and the sooty
  pitman; and hurried to spread the news round the servants'
  hall of Naseby House。  Luncheon would be on the table in
  little beyond an hour; and the Squire; on sitting down; would
  hardly fail to ask for Master Richard。  Hence; as the
  intelligent reader can foresee; this groom has a part to play
  in the imbroglio。
  Meantime; Dick had been thinking deeply and bitterly。  It
  seemed to him as if his love had gone from him; indeed; yet
  gone but a little way; as if he needed but to find the right
  touch or intonation; and her heart would recognise him and be
  melted。  Yet he durst not open his mouth; and drove in
  silence till they had passed the main park…gates and turned
  into the cross…cut lane along the wall。  Then it seemed to
  him as if it must be now; or never。
  'Can't you see you are killing me?' he cried。  'Speak to me;
  look at me; treat me like a human man。'
  She turned slowly and looked him in the face with eyes that
  seemed kinder。  He dropped the reins and caught her hand; and
  she made no resistance; although her touch was unresponsive。
  But when; throwing one arm round her waist; he sought to kiss
  her lips; not like a lover indeed; not because he wanted to
  do so; but as a desperate man who puts his fortunes to the
  touch; she drew away from him; with a knot in her forehead;
  backed and shied about fiercely with her head; and pushed him
  from her with her hand。  Then there was no room left for
  doubt; and Dick saw; as clear as sunlight; that she had a
  distaste or nourished a grudge against him。
  'Then you don't love me?' he said; drawing back from her; he
  also; as though her touch had burnt him; and then; as she
  made no answer; he repeated with another intonation;
  imperious and yet still pathetic; 'You don't love me; DO you;
  DO you?'
  'I don't know;' she replied。  'Why do you ask me?  Oh; how
  should I know?  It has all been lies together … lies; and
  lies; and lies!'
  He cried her name sharply; like a man who has taken a
  physical hurt; and that was the last word that either of them
  spoke until they reached Thymebury Junction。
  This was a station isolated in the midst of moorlands; yet
  lying on the great up line to London。  The nearest town;
  Thymebury itself; was seven miles distant along the branch
  they call the Vale of Thyme Railway。  It was now nearly half
  an hour past noon; the down train had just gone by; and there
  would be no more traffic at the junction until half…past
  three; when the local train comes in to meet the up express
  at a quarter before four。  The stationmaster had already gone
  off to his garden; which was half a mile away in a hollow of
  the moor; a porter; who was just leaving; took charge of the
  phaeton; and promised to return it before night to Naseby
  House; only a deaf; snuffy; and stern old man remained to
  play propriety for Dick and Esther。
  Before the phaeton had driven off; the girl had entered the
  station and seated herself upon a bench。  The endless; empty
  moorlands stretched before her; entirely unenclosed; and with
  no boundary but the horizon。  Two lines of rails; a waggon
  shed; and a few telegraph posts; alone dive