第 29 节
作者:
左思右想 更新:2022-08-26 22:12 字数:9322
You say I will not help you; but your heart knows the
contrary。 It is you who will not help me; for you will not
tell me what you want。 You see … or you could see; if you
took the pains to look … how I have waited here all night to
be ready at your service。 I only asked information; I only
urged you to consider; and I still urge and beg you to think
better of your fancies。 But if your mind is made up; so be
it; I will beg no longer; I give you my orders; and I will
not allow … not allow you to go hence alone。'
She looked at him for awhile with cold; unkind scrutiny like
one who tries the temper of a tool。
'Well; take me away; then;' she said with a sigh。
'Good;' said Dick。 'Come with me to the stables; there we
shall get the pony…trap and drive to the junction。 To…night
you shall be in London。 I am yours so wholly that no words
can make me more so; and; besides; you know it; and the words
are needless。 May God help me to be good to you; Esther …
may God help me! for I see that you will not。'
So; without more speech; they set out together; and were
already got some distance from the spot; ere he observed that
she was still carrying the hand…bag。 She gave it up to him;
passively; but when he offered her his arm; merely shook her
head and pursed up her lips。 The sun shone clearly and
pleasantly; the wind was fresh and brisk upon their faces;
and smelt racily of woods and meadows。 As they went down
into the valley of the Thyme; the babble of the stream rose
into the air like a perennial laughter。 On the far…away
hills; sun…burst and shadow raced along the slopes and leaped
from peak to peak。 Earth; air and water; each seemed in
better health and had more of the shrewd salt of life in them
than upon ordinary mornings; and from east to west; from the
lowest glen to the height of heaven; from every look and
touch and scent; a human creature could gather the most
encouraging intelligence as to the durability and spirit of
the universe。
Through all this walked Esther; picking her small steps like
a bird; but silent and with a cloud under her thick eyebrows。
She seemed insensible; not only of nature; but of the
presence of her companion。 She was altogether engrossed in
herself; and looked neither to right nor to left; but
straight before her on the road。 When they came to the
bridge; however; she halted; leaned on the parapet; and
stared for a moment at the clear; brown pool; and swift;
transient snowdrift of the rapids。
'I am going to drink;' she said; and descended the winding
footpath to the margin。
There she drank greedily in her hands and washed her temples
with water。 The coolness seemed to break; for an instant;
the spell that lay upon her; for; instead of hastening
forward again in her dull; indefatigable tramp; she stood
still where she was; for near a minute; looking straight
before her。 And Dick; from above on the bridge where he
stood to watch her; saw a strange; equivocal smile dawn
slowly on her face and pass away again at once and suddenly;
leaving her as grave as ever; and the sense of distance;
which it is so cruel for a lover to endure; pressed with
every moment more heavily on her companion。 Her thoughts
were all secret; her heart was locked and bolted; and he
stood without; vainly wooing her with his eves。
'Do you feel better?' asked Dick; as she at last rejoined
him; and after the constraint of so long a silence; his voice
sounded foreign to his own ears。
She looked at him for an appreciable fraction of a minute ere
she answered; and when she did; it was in the monosyllable …
'Yes。'
Dick's solicitude was nipped and frosted。 His words died
away on his tongue。 Even his eyes; despairing of
encouragement; ceased to attend on hers。 And they went on in
silence through Kirton hamlet; where an old man followed them
with his eyes; and perhaps envied them their youth and love;
and across the Ivy beck where the mill was splashing and
grumbling low thunder to itself in the chequered shadow of
the dell; and the miller before the door was beating flour
from his hands as he whistled a modulation; and up by the
high spinney; whence they saw the mountains upon either hand;
and down the hill again to the back courts and offices of
Naseby House。 Esther had kept ahead all the way; and Dick
plodded obediently in her wake; but as they neared the
stables; he pushed on and took the lead。 He would have
preferred her to await him in the road while he went on and
brought the carriage back; but after so many repulses and
rebuffs he lacked courage to offer the suggestion。 Perhaps;
too; he felt it wiser to keep his convoy within sight。 So
they entered the yard in Indian file; like a tramp and his
wife。
The grooms eyebrows rose as he received the order for the
pony…phaeton; and kept rising during all his preparations。
Esther stood bolt upright and looked steadily at some
chickens in the corner of the yard。 Master Richard himself;
thought the groom; was not in his ordinary; for in truth; he
carried the hand…bag like a talisman; and either stood
listless; or set off suddenly walking in one direction after
another with brisk; decisive footsteps。 Moreover he had
apparently neglected to wash his hands; and bore the air of
one returning from a prolonged nutting ramble。 Upon the
groom's countenance there began to grow up an expression as
of one about to whistle。 And hardly had the carriage turned
the corner and rattled into the high road with this
inexplicable pair; than the whistle broke forth … prolonged;
and low and tremulous; and the groom; already so far
relieved; vented the rest of his surprise in one simple
English word; friendly to the mouth of Jack…tar and the sooty
pitman; and hurried to spread the news round the servants'
hall of Naseby House。 Luncheon would be on the table in
little beyond an hour; and the Squire; on sitting down; would
hardly fail to ask for Master Richard。 Hence; as the
intelligent reader can foresee; this groom has a part to play
in the imbroglio。
Meantime; Dick had been thinking deeply and bitterly。 It
seemed to him as if his love had gone from him; indeed; yet
gone but a little way; as if he needed but to find the right
touch or intonation; and her heart would recognise him and be
melted。 Yet he durst not open his mouth; and drove in
silence till they had passed the main park…gates and turned
into the cross…cut lane along the wall。 Then it seemed to
him as if it must be now; or never。
'Can't you see you are killing me?' he cried。 'Speak to me;
look at me; treat me like a human man。'
She turned slowly and looked him in the face with eyes that
seemed kinder。 He dropped the reins and caught her hand; and
she made no resistance; although her touch was unresponsive。
But when; throwing one arm round her waist; he sought to kiss
her lips; not like a lover indeed; not because he wanted to
do so; but as a desperate man who puts his fortunes to the
touch; she drew away from him; with a knot in her forehead;
backed and shied about fiercely with her head; and pushed him
from her with her hand。 Then there was no room left for
doubt; and Dick saw; as clear as sunlight; that she had a
distaste or nourished a grudge against him。
'Then you don't love me?' he said; drawing back from her; he
also; as though her touch had burnt him; and then; as she
made no answer; he repeated with another intonation;
imperious and yet still pathetic; 'You don't love me; DO you;
DO you?'
'I don't know;' she replied。 'Why do you ask me? Oh; how
should I know? It has all been lies together … lies; and
lies; and lies!'
He cried her name sharply; like a man who has taken a
physical hurt; and that was the last word that either of them
spoke until they reached Thymebury Junction。
This was a station isolated in the midst of moorlands; yet
lying on the great up line to London。 The nearest town;
Thymebury itself; was seven miles distant along the branch
they call the Vale of Thyme Railway。 It was now nearly half
an hour past noon; the down train had just gone by; and there
would be no more traffic at the junction until half…past
three; when the local train comes in to meet the up express
at a quarter before four。 The stationmaster had already gone
off to his garden; which was half a mile away in a hollow of
the moor; a porter; who was just leaving; took charge of the
phaeton; and promised to return it before night to Naseby
House; only a deaf; snuffy; and stern old man remained to
play propriety for Dick and Esther。
Before the phaeton had driven off; the girl had entered the
station and seated herself upon a bench。 The endless; empty
moorlands stretched before her; entirely unenclosed; and with
no boundary but the horizon。 Two lines of rails; a waggon
shed; and a few telegraph posts; alone dive