第 25 节
作者:曾氏六合网      更新:2022-08-21 16:41      字数:9321
  〃Must insist; then call her Susan and wire。Sagittarius。〃
  〃Cannot possibly consent to call her Susan; discussion of such
  matter by wire not decent; regret must absolutely decline。
  Vivian。〃
  〃Madame and self insulted by accusation not decent; demand
  explanation and apology。Sagittarius。〃
  〃Regret; no desire give pain to lady; but this must cease;
  grandmother and square seriously upset by procession of telegraph
  boys。Vivian。〃
  〃Cannot help square and grandmother; must have last night's result
  to compare with own observation of grandmother with crab and
  scorpion。Sagittarius。〃
  〃Pray cease; would rather die than discuss grandmother with crab
  and scorpion by wire。Vivian。〃
  〃Rubbish! Call crab Susan; scorpion Jane; grandmother Harry; and
  wire; absolutely insist。Sagittarius。〃
  〃Absolutely decline discuss crab; scorpion and grandmother by wire;
  final。Vivian。
  〃Scandalous! not behaviour of gentleman; Madame cut to heart;
  infamous。Sagittarius。〃
  〃Mater familiaris pallidibus ira。Madame Sagittarius。〃
  〃If receive no reply as to grandmother and crab; et cetera; shall
  start at once for Square。Jupiter and Madame Sagittarius。〃
  〃On no account trouble come up; going out immediately; important
  engagement。Vivian。〃
  〃Madame putting on boots。Sagittarius。〃
  〃Utterly useless put on boots; leaving house。Vivian。〃
  〃Madame boots on; tying bonnet。Sagittarius。〃
  〃Totally useless tie bonnet; absolutely forced leave house。
  Vivian。〃
  〃Madame in pelisse; shall come in wait till your return。
  Sagittarius。〃
  〃Regret pelisse; quite useless; out till late evening。Vivian。〃
  〃Shall stay till whatever hour; have on hat and bonnet now;
  starting。Jupiter and Madame Sagittarius。〃
  〃For Heaven's sake don't; will wire whatever you wish。Vivian。〃
  〃Don't。 Ankles perhaps catching; dangerous Capricornus。Vivian。〃
  〃Have you started?Vivian。〃
  〃Have not started; but at threshold of door; wire full explanation
  of crab with grandmother; et cetera; last night or shall start
  instanter。Jupiter and Madame Sagittarius。〃
  〃Truth is very little result last night; did not see crab with
  grandmother; deeply regret。Vivian。〃
  〃Then wire result of scorpion with grandmother。Sagittarius。〃
  〃Very sorry did not see scorpion with grandmother。Vivian。〃
  〃Impossible; believe stars out; clear sky; self and Madame
  distinctly observed crab and scorpion with grandmother for four
  hours。Sagittarius。〃
  〃On honour did not see crab; scorpion or grandmother。Vivian。〃
  〃Then has grandmother passed over?Sagittarius。〃
  〃Certainly not; but no result; pray cease discussion; grandmother
  and square distracted by incessant uproar of boys at door。
  Vivian。〃
  〃Leaving house; with you as soon as possible。Jupiter and Madame
  Sagittarius。〃
  〃Heaven's sake don't; tell truth; did not look through telescope at
  all last night。Vivian。〃
  〃What meaning of this swore oath broken; no gentleman; coming at
  once for explanation。Jupiter and Madame Sagittarius。〃
  〃Stop; sending boy messenger with full explanation; severe accident
  last night; injured head; so unable look for crab; grandmother and
  scorpion。Vivian。〃
  〃Astounded; upset; Madame says not conduct gentleman; might have
  seen crab; grandmother and scorpion with injured head; mere excuse
  caput mortuus decrepitum cancer。Sagittarius。〃
  〃Pray excuse; look to…night without fail; Heaven's sake cease
  writing; grandmother and whole square amazement; confusion; shall
  go mad if continues。Vivian。〃
  〃Very well; but insist on full letter; confidence in oath much
  shaken; wires most shifty; gross neglect of crab; grandmother and
  scorpion。Sagittarius。〃
  〃Homo miserum sed magnum est veritatus et praevalebetur。Madame
  Sagittarius。〃
  CHAPTER XI
  MISS MINERVA OPENS HER BOOK OF REVELATION IN A CAB
  〃Assure the Lord Chancellor that the last boy has been and gonegone
  away; that is; Mr。 Ferdinand; and that I pledge my sacred word not to
  have another telegram to…day。〃
  〃Yes; sir。 His lordship desired that you should be informed that;
  according to the law regulating public abominations and intolerable
  street noises; you was liable to〃
  〃I know; I know。〃
  〃And that; by the Act dealing with gross offences against the public
  order and scandalous crimes against the peace of metropolitan
  communities; you was amenable〃
  〃Exactly。 Go to his lordship and swear〃
  〃I couldn't do that so soon again; sir; really。 I swore only as short
  ago as yesterday; sir; by your express order; but〃
  〃I mean asseverate to his lordship that the very last boy has knocked
  for the very last time。〃
  〃It wasn't so much the knocking; sir; his lordship complained of; as
  the boys coming to the door meeting the boys going away from it; and
  blocking up the pavement; sir; so that no one could get past and〃
  〃Yes; yes。 Go and asseverate at once; Mr。 Ferdinand。〃
  〃Very well; sir。 And Her Grace; the Duchess of Camberwell; who is
  passing from one fit to another; sir; from fright at the uproar and
  telegrams going to the wrong house; sir?〃
  〃Implore Her Grace to have courage and to trust me as a gentleman when
  I promise solemnly that the knocking shall not be renewed。〃
  〃Very well; sir。〃
  〃Mr。 Ferdinand!〃
  〃Sir?〃
  〃Have the knockers swathed in cotton…wool at once。〃
  〃Yes; sir;〃
  〃Andfix a bulletin on the door。 Wait! I'll write it。〃
  The Prophet hastened to his writing table and; with a hand that
  trembled violently; wrote on a card as follows:
  〃Owner of this house seriously ill; pray do not knock or /death/ shall
  certainly ensue。〃
  〃There! Poor grannie will have peace now。 Nail that up; Mr。 Ferdinand;
  under the cotton…wool。〃
  〃Very well; sir。 Mrs。 Merillia; sir; would be glad to speak to you for
  a moment。 You remember I informed you?〃
  〃I'll go to her at once。 But first bring me a glass of brandy; Mr。
  Ferdinand。 I'm feeling extremely unwell。〃
  And the Prophet; who was paler far than ashes; and beaded from top to
  toe with perspiration; sank down feebly upon a chair and let his head
  drop on the blotting…pad that lay on his writing…table。
  When he had swallowed an inch or two of cognac he got up; pulled
  himself together with both hands; and walked; like an elderly person
  afflicted with incipient locomotor ataxy; upstairs into the drawing…
  room where Mrs。 Merillia was lying on a sofa; ministered to by Fancy
  Quinglet; who; at the moment of his entrance; was busily engaged in
  stuffing a large wad of cotton…wool into the right ear of her beloved
  mistress。
  〃Leave us please; Fancy;〃 said Mrs。 Merillia; in a voice that sounded
  much older than usual。 〃And as your head is so bad; too; you had better
  lie down。〃
  〃Thank you; ma'am。 If I keep upright; ma'am; I feel my head will split
  asunder。 I can't speak different nor feel other。〃
  〃Then don't be upright。〃
  〃No; ma'am。 Them that feels other; let them declare it!〃 and Mrs。 Fancy
  retired; holding both hands to her temples; and uttering very
  distinctly sundry stifled moans。
  Mrs。 Merillia motioned the Prophet to a chair; and; after lying quite
  still for about five minutes with her eyes tightly shut; said in a weak
  tone of voice;
  〃How many more telegrams do you expect; Hennessey? You have had twenty…
  seven within the last three hours。 Can you give me a rough general idea
  of the average number you anticipate will probably arrive every hour
  from now till the offices close?〃
  〃Grannie; grannie; forgive me! I assure you〃
  〃Don't be afraid to tell me; Hennessey。 It is much better to know the
  worst; and fact it bravely。 Will the present average be merely
  sustained; or do you expect the quantity to increase towards night?
  because if so〃
  〃Grannie; there will be no more。 I swear to you solemnly that I will
  not have another telegram to…day。 I will not upon my sacred honour。
  Nothingnot wild horses evenshall induce me。〃
  〃Horses! Then were they racing tips; Hennessey? Yes; give me the /eau
  de Cologne/ and fan me gently。 Were they racing tips?〃
  〃Oh; grannie; how could you suppose〃
  At this moment Mr。 Ferdinand entered softly and went up to Mrs。
  Merillia。
  〃Mr。 Q。 Elisha Hubsbee; ma'am。 He is deeply distressed and asks for
  news 。 。 。〃
  〃The Central American Ambassador's grandfather;〃 said Mrs。 Merillia;
  reading the card which Mr。 Ferdinand handed to her。
  〃Shocked to hear you are so ill that a knock will finish you。 Guess
  you must be far gone。 Earnest sympathy。 Have you tried patent
  morphia molasses?
  Q。 E。 H。〃
  〃Ah! how things get about! Tell Mr。 Elisha Hubsbee the knocks have
  nearly killed us all; Mr。 Ferdinand; but we are bearing up as well as
  can be expected。 If necessary we will certainly try