第 7 节
作者:
寻找山吹 更新:2022-08-21 16:40 字数:9322
privately disown the stuff his people were made of。 Morgan had in
secret a small loftiness which made him acute about betrayed
meanness; as well as a critical sense for the manners immediately
surrounding him that was quite without precedent in a juvenile
nature; especially when one noted that it had not made this nature
〃old…fashioned;〃 as the word is of children … quaint or wizened or
offensive。 It was as if he had been a little gentleman and had
paid the penalty by discovering that he was the only such person in
his family。 This comparison didn't make him vain; but it could
make him melancholy and a trifle austere。 While Pemberton guessed
at these dim young things; shadows of shadows; he was partly drawn
on and partly checked; as for a scruple; by the charm of attempting
to sound the little cool shallows that were so quickly growing
deeper。 When he tried to figure to himself the morning twilight of
childhood; so as to deal with it safely; he saw it was never fixed;
never arrested; that ignorance; at the instant he touched it; was
already flushing faintly into knowledge; that there was nothing
that at a given moment you could say an intelligent child didn't
know。 It seemed to him that he himself knew too much to imagine
Morgan's simplicity and too little to disembroil his tangle。
The boy paid no heed to his last remark; he only went on: 〃I'd
have spoken to them about their idea; as I call it; long ago; if I
hadn't been sure what they'd say。〃
〃And what would they say?〃
〃Just what they said about what poor Zenobie told me … that it was
a horrid dreadful story; that they had paid her every penny they
owed her。〃
〃Well; perhaps they had;〃 said Pemberton。
〃Perhaps they've paid you!〃
〃Let us pretend they have; and n'en parlons plus。〃
〃They accused her of lying and cheating〃 … Morgan stuck to historic
truth。 〃That's why I don't want to speak to them。〃
〃Lest they should accuse me; too?〃 To this Morgan made no answer;
and his companion; looking down at him … the boy turned away his
eyes; which had filled … saw what he couldn't have trusted himself
to utter。 〃You're right。 Don't worry them;〃 Pemberton pursued。
〃Except for that; they ARE charming people。〃
〃Except for THEIR lying and THEIR cheating?〃
〃I say … I say!〃 cried Pemberton; imitating a little tone of the
lad's which was itself an imitation。
〃We must be frank; at the last; we MUST come to an understanding;〃
said Morgan with the importance of the small boy who lets himself
think he is arranging great affairs … almost playing at shipwreck
or at Indians。 〃I know all about everything。〃
〃I dare say your father has his reasons;'' Pemberton replied; but
too vaguely; as he was aware。
〃For lying and cheating?〃
〃For saving and managing and turning his means to the best account。
He has plenty to do with his money。 You're an expensive family。〃
〃Yes; I'm very expensive;〃 Morgan concurred in a manner that made
his preceptor burst out laughing。
〃He's saving for YOU;〃 said Pemberton。 〃They think of you in
everything they do。〃
〃He might; while he's about it; save a little … 〃 The boy paused;
and his friend waited to hear what。 Then Morgan brought out oddly:
〃A little reputation。〃
〃Oh there's plenty of that。 That's all right!〃
〃Enough of it for the people they know; no doubt。 The people they
know are awful。〃
〃Do you mean the princes? We mustn't abuse the princes。〃
〃Why not? They haven't married Paula … they haven't married Amy。
They only clean out Ulick。〃
〃You DO know everything!〃 Pemberton declared。
〃No; I don't; after all。 I don't know what they live on; or how
they live; or WHY they live! What have they got and how did they
get it? Are they rich; are they poor; or have they a modeste
aisance? Why are they always chiveying me about … living one year
like ambassadors and the next like paupers? Who are they; any way;
and what are they? I've thought of all that … I've thought of a
lot of things。 They're so beastly worldly。 That's what I hate
most … oh; I've SEEN it! All they care about is to make an
appearance and to pass for something or other。 What the dickens do
they want to pass for? What DO they; Mr。 Pemberton?〃
〃You pause for a reply;〃 said Pemberton; treating the question as a
joke; yet wondering too and greatly struck with his mate's intense
if imperfect vision。 〃I haven't the least idea。〃
〃And what good does it do? Haven't I seen the way people treat
them … the 'nice' people; the ones they want to know? They'll take
anything from them … they'll lie down and be trampled on。 The nice
ones hate that … they just sicken them。 You're the only really
nice person we know。〃
〃Are you sure? They don't lie down for me!〃
〃Well; you shan't lie down for them。 You've got to go … that's
what you've got to do;〃 said Morgan。
〃And what will become of you?〃
〃Oh I'm growing up。 I shall get off before long。 I'll see you
later。〃
〃You had better let me finish you;〃 Pemberton urged; lending
himself to the child's strange superiority。
Morgan stopped in their walk; looking up at him。 He had to look up
much less than a couple of years before … he had grown; in his
loose leanness; so long and high。 〃Finish me?〃 he echoed。
〃There are such a lot of jolly things we can do together yet。 I
want to turn you out … I want you to do me credit。〃
Morgan continued to look at him。 〃To give you credit … do you
mean?〃
〃My dear fellow; you're too clever to live。〃
〃That's just what I'm afraid you think。 No; no; it isn't fair … I
can't endure it。 We'll separate next week。 The sooner it's over
the sooner to sleep。〃
〃If I hear of anything … any other chance … I promise to go;〃
Pemberton said。
Morgan consented to consider this。 〃But you'll be honest;〃 he
demanded; 〃you won't pretend you haven't heard?〃
〃I'm much more likely to pretend I have。〃
〃But what can you hear of; this way; stuck in a hole with us? You
ought to be on the spot; to go to England … you ought to go to
America。〃
〃One would think you were MY tutor!〃 said Pemberton。
Morgan walked on and after a little had begun again: 〃Well; now
that you know I know and that we look at the facts and keep nothing
back … it's much more comfortable; isn't it?〃
〃My dear boy; it's so amusing; so interesting; that it will surely
be quite impossible for me to forego such hours as these。〃
This made Morgan stop once more。 〃You DO keep something back。 Oh
you're not straight … I am!〃
〃How am I not straight?〃
〃Oh you've got your idea!〃
〃My idea?〃
〃Why that I probably shan't make old … make older … bones; and that
you can stick it out till I'm removed。〃
〃You ARE too clever to live!〃 Pemberton repeated。
〃I call it a mean idea;〃 Morgan pursued。 〃But I shall punish you
by the way I hang on。〃
〃Look out or I'll poison you!〃 Pemberton laughed。
〃I'm stronger and better every year。 Haven't you noticed that
there hasn't been a doctor near me since you came?〃
〃I'M your doctor;〃 said the young man; taking his arm and drawing
him tenderly on again。
Morgan proceeded and after a few steps gave a sigh of mingled
weariness and relief。 〃Ah now that we look at the facts it's all
right!〃
CHAPTER VII
They looked at the facts a good deal after this and one of the
first consequences of their doing so was that Pemberton stuck it
out; in his friend's parlance; for the purpose。 Morgan made the
facts so vivid and so droll; and at the same time so bald and so
ugly; that there was fascination in talking them over with him;
just as there would have been heartlessness in leaving him alone
with them。 Now that the pair had such perceptions in common it was
useless for them to pretend they didn't judge such people; but the
very judgement and the exchange of perceptions created another tie。
Morgan had never been so interesting as now that he himself was
made plainer by the sidelight of these confidences。 What came out
in it most was the small fine passion of his pride。 He had plenty
of that; Pemberton felt … so much that one might perhaps wisely
wish for it some early bruises。 He would have liked his people to
have a spirit and had waked up to the sense of their perpetually
eating humble…pie。 His mother would consume any amount; and his
father would consume even more than his mother。 He had a theory
that Ulick had wriggled out of an 〃affair〃 at Nice: there had once
been a flurry at home; a regular panic; after which they all went
to bed and took medicine; not to be accounted for on any other
supposition。 Morgan had a romantic imagination; led by poetry and
history; and he would have liked those who 〃bore his name〃 … as he
used to say to Pemberton with the humour that made his queer
delicacies