第 181 节
作者:这就是结局      更新:2022-08-21 16:40      字数:9322
  partly from her deficiency of manner; and still more from her true
  humility and affection。  Gradually she arrived at the perception of
  the history of her sister's mind; understood what gloom had once
  overshadowed it; and how; since light had once shone upon her; she
  shrank not merely from the tasks that had become wearisome to her;
  but from the dread of losing among them her present peace。
  〃They are your duty;〃 argued Ethel。  〃Duty brings peace。〃
  〃They were not;〃 said Flora。
  〃They are now;〃 said Ethel。
  〃Dinners and parties; empty talk and vain show;〃 said Flora
  languidly。  〃Are you come to their defence; Ethel?  If you could
  guess how sick one gets of them; and how much worse it is for them
  not to be hateful!  And to think of bringing my poor little girl up
  to the like; if she is spared!〃
  〃If they are not duties; I would not do them;〃 said Ethel。
  〃Ethel;〃 cried her sister; raising herself from her couch eagerly; 〃I
  will say it to you!  What should you think of George resigning his
  seat; and living in peace here?〃
  〃Would he?〃 said Ethel。
  〃If I wished it。〃
  〃But what would he do with himself?〃 said Ethel; not in too
  complimentary a strain。
  〃Yachting; farming; Cochin…Chineseor something;〃 said Flora。
  〃Anything not so wearing as this!〃
  〃That abominable candidate of Tomkins's would come in!〃 exclaimed
  Ethel。  〃Oh; Flora; that would be horrid!〃
  〃That might be guarded against;〃 said Flora。  〃Perhaps Sir Henry
  But oh! let us leave politics in peace while we can。  I thought we
  should do some great good; but it is all a maze of confusion。  It is
  so hard to know principles from parties; and everything goes wrong!
  It is of no use to contend with it!〃
  〃It is never vain to contend with evil;〃 said Ethel。
  〃We are not generalising;〃 said Flora。  〃There is evil nearer home
  than the state of parties; and I can't see that George's being in
  Parliamentbeing what he isis anything like the benefit to things
  in generalthat it is temptation and plague to me; besides the risk
  of London life for the baby; now and hereafter。〃
  〃I can't say that I think it is;〃 said Ethel。  〃How nice it would be
  to have you here!  I am so glad you are willing to give it up。〃
  〃It would have been better to have given it up untastedlike
  Norman;〃 sighed Flora。  〃I will talk to George。〃
  〃But; Flora;〃 said Ethel; a little startled; 〃you ought not to do
  such a thing without advice。〃
  〃There will be worry enough before it is done!〃 sighed Flora。  〃No
  fear of that!〃
  〃Stop a minute;〃 said Ethel; as if poor Flora could have done
  anything but lie still on her sofa。  〃I think you ought to consider
  well before you set it going。〃
  〃Have not I longed for it day and night?  It is an escape from peril
  for ourselves and our child。〃
  〃I can't be sure!〃 said Ethel。  〃It may be more wrong to make George
  desert the post which〃
  〃Which I thrust him into;〃 said Flora。  〃My father told me as much。〃
  〃I did not mean you to say that!  But it is a puzzle。  It seems as if
  it were right to give up such things; yet; when I recollect the
  difficulty of carrying an election right at Stoneborough; I think
  papa would be very sorry。  I don't think his interest would bring in
  any sound man but his son…in…law; and George himself seems to like
  his parliamentary life better than anything else。〃
  〃Yes;〃 said Flora hesitatingly; for she knew it was truehe liked to
  think himself important; and it gave him something to think of; and
  regular occupationnot too active or onerous; but she could not tell
  Ethel what she herself felt; that all she could do for him could not
  prevent him from being held cheap by the men among whom she had
  placed him。
  〃Then;〃 said Ethel; as she heard her affirmative; 〃I don't think it
  is for his dignity; for you to put him into Parliament to please you
  and then take him out to please you。〃
  〃I'll take care of his dignity;〃 said Flora shortly。
  〃I know you would do it well〃
  〃I am sick of doing things well!〃 said poor Flora。  〃You little know
  how I dread reading up all I must read presently!  I shall lose all I
  have scarcely gained。  I cannot find peace any way; but by throwing
  down the load I gave my peace for。〃
  〃Whether this is truth or fancy;〃 said Ethel thoughtfully。  〃If you
  would ask some one competent。〃
  〃Don't you know there are some things one cannot ask?〃 said Flora。
  〃I don't know why I spoke to you!  Ah! come in!  Why; George; that is
  a finer egg than ever;〃 as he entered with a Shanghai egg in each
  hand; for her to mark with the date when it had been laid。  Poultry
  was a new hobby; and Ethel had been hearing; in her tete…a…tete
  dinners with George; a great deal about the perfections of the
  hideous monsters that had obtained fabulous prices。  They had been
  the best resource for conversation; but she watched; with something
  between vexation and softness; how Flora roused herself to give her
  full attention and interest to his prosing about his pets; really
  pleased as it seemed; and; at last; encouraging him actually to fetch
  his favourite cock to show her; when she went through the points of
  perfection of the ungainly mass of feathers; and did not at all allow
  Ethel to laugh at the unearthly sounds of disapproval which handling
  elicited。
  〃And this is our senator!〃 thought Ethel。  〃I wonder whether
  Honorius's hen was a Shanghai!  Poor Flora is rightit is poor work
  to make a silk purse out of a sow's ear! but; putting him into the
  place is one thing; taking him out another。  I wish she would take
  advice; but I never knew her do that; except as a civil way of
  communicating her intentions。  However; she is not quite what she
  was!  Poor dear!  Aunt Flora will never believe what a beautiful
  creature she used to be!  It seems wrong to think of her going back
  to that horrid London; but I can't judge。  For my part; I'd rather do
  work; than no work for George; and he is a good; kind…hearted fellow
  after all!  I won't be a crab!〃
  So Ethel did her best; and said the cock had a bright eyeall she
  could say for himand George instructed her to admire the awkward
  legs; and invited her to a poultry show; at Whitford; in two days'
  timeand they sent him away to continue his consultations with the
  poultry woman; which pullets should be preferred as candidates for a
  prize。
  〃Meta set him upon this;〃 said Flora。  〃I hope you will go; Ethel。
  You see he can be very happy here。〃
  〃Still;〃 said Ethel; 〃the more I think; the more sure I am that you
  ought to ask advice。〃
  〃I have asked yours;〃 said Flora; as if it were a great effort。  〃You
  don't know what to sayI shall do what I see to be the only way to
  rest。〃
  〃I do know what to say;〃 said Ethel; 〃and that is; do as the Prayer…
  book tells you; in any perplexity。〃
  〃I am not perplexed;〃 said Flora。
  〃Don't say so。  This is either the station to which God has called
  you; or it is not。〃
  〃He never called me to it。〃
  〃But you don't know whether you ought to leave it。  If you ought not;
  you would be ten times more miserable。  Go to Richard; Florahe
  belongs to you as much as Ihe has authority besides。〃
  〃Richard!〃
  〃He is the clearest of us all in practical matters;〃 said Ethel;
  preventing what she feared would be disparaging。  〃I don't mean only
  that you should ask him about this Parliament matter alone; but I am
  sure you would be happier and more settled if you talked things over
  with him beforebefore you go to church。〃
  〃You don't know what you propose。〃
  〃I do;〃 said Ethel; growing bolder。  〃You have been going all this
  time by feeling。  You have never cleared up; and got to the bottom
  of; your troubles。〃
  〃I could not talk to any one。〃
  〃Not to any one but a clergyman。  Now; to enter on such a thing is
  most averse to your nature; and I do believe that; for that very
  reason; it would be what would do you most good。  You say you have
  recovered sense of Oh; Flora! I can't talk of what you have gone
  through; but if you have only a vague feeling that seems as if lying
  still would be the only way to keep it; I don't think it can be
  altogether sound; or the 'quiet conscience' that is meant。〃
  〃Oh; Ethel!  Ethel!  I have never told you what I have undergone;
  since I knew my former quietness of conscience was but sleep! I have
  gone on in agony; with the sense of hypocrisy and despair; because I
  was afraid; for George's sake; to do otherwise。〃
  Elhel felt herself utterly powerless to advise; and; after a kind
  sound of sympathy; sat shocked; pondering on what none could answer;
  whether this were; indeed; what poor Flora imagined; or whether it
  had been a holding…fast to the thread through the darkness。  The
  proud reserve was the true evil; and Ethel prayed and trusted it
  might give way。
  She went very amiably to Whitford with George; and gained great
  credit with him; for admiring the prettiest speckled Hamburgh
  present; indeed; George was becoming very fond of 〃poor Ethel;〃 as he
  still called her; and sometimes predicted that she would turn out a
  fine figure of a woman after all。
  Ethel heard; on her return; that Richard had been there; and three
  days after; when Flora was making arrangements for going to church; a
  moment of confidence came over her; and she s