第 154 节
作者:这就是结局      更新:2022-08-21 16:40      字数:9320
  account; without failing in her own eyes。
  She made time for everything; and though; between business and
  fashion; she seemed to undertake more than mortal could accomplish;
  it was all effected; and excellently。  She did; indeed; sigh over the
  briefness of the time that she could bestow on her child or on home
  correspondence; and declared that she should rejoice in rest; but; at
  the same time; her achievements were a positive pleasure to her。
  Meta; in the meantime; had been living passively on the most
  affectionate terms with her brother and sister; and though often
  secretly yearning after the dear old father; whose darling she had
  been; and longing for power of usefulness; she took it on trust that
  her present lot had been ordered for her; and was thankful; like the
  bird of Dr。 May's fable; for the pleasures in her pathculling sweet
  morals; and precious thoughts out of book; painting or concert;
  occasions for Christian charities in each courtesy of society; and
  opportunities for cheerful self…denial and submission; whenever any
  little wish was thwarted。
  So Norman said she had turned into a fine lady!  It was a sudden and
  surprising intimation; and made a change in the usually bright and
  calm current of her thoughts。  She was not aware that there had been
  any alteration in herself; and it was a revelation that set her to
  examine where she had changedpoor little thing!  She was not angry;
  she did not resent the charge; she took it for granted that; coming
  from such a source; it must be true and reasonableand what did it
  mean?  Did they think her too gay; or neglectful of old friends?
  What had they been saying to Harry about her?
  〃Ah!〃 thought Meta; 〃I understand it。  I am living a life of ease and
  uselessness; and with his higher aims and nobler purposes; he shrinks
  from the frivolities among which I am cast。  I saw his saddened
  countenance among our gaieties; and I know that to deep minds there
  is heaviness in the midst of display。  He withdraws from the follies
  that have no charms for him; and Iought I to be able to help being
  amused?  I don't seek these things; but; perhaps; I ought to avoid
  them more than I do。  If I could be quite clear what is right; I
  should not care what effort I made。  But I was born to be one of
  those who have trial of riches; and such blessed tasks are not my
  portion。  But if he sees the vanities creeping into my heart; I
  should be grateful for that warning。〃
  So meditated Meta; as she copied one of her own drawings of the
  Grange; for her dear old governess; Mrs。 Larpent; while each line and
  tint recalled the comments of her fond amateur father; and the
  scenery carried her home; in spite of the street sounds; and the
  scratching of Flora's pen; coursing over note…paper。  Presently Sir
  Henry Walkinghame called; bringing a beautiful bouquet。
  〃Delicious;〃 cried Meta。  〃See; Flora; it is in good time; for those
  vases were sadly shabby。〃
  She began at once to arrange the flowers; a task that seemed what she
  was born for; and the choice roses and geraniums acquired fresh grace
  as she placed them in the slender glasses and classic vases; but
  Flora's discerning eyes perceived some mortification on the part of
  the gentleman; and; on his departure; playfully reproached Meta for
  ingratitude。
  〃Did we not thank him?  I thought I did them all due honour; actually
  using the Dresden bowl。〃
  〃You little wretch! quite insensible to the sentiment of the thing。〃
  〃Sentiment!  One would think you had been reading about the language
  of flowers!〃
  〃Whatever there was; poor Sir Henry did not mean it for the Dresden
  bowl or Bohemian glass。〃
  〃Flora! do pray tell me whether you are in fun?〃
  〃You ridiculous child!〃 said Flora; kissing her earnest forehead;
  ringing the bell; and gathering up her papers; as she walked out of
  the room; and gave her notes to the servant。
  〃What does she mean?  Is it play?  Oh; no; a hint would be far more
  like her。  But I hope it is nonsense。  He is very kind and pleasant;
  and I should not know what to do。〃
  Instances of his complaisance towards herself rose before her; so as
  to excite some warmth and gratitude。  Her lonely heart thrilled at
  the idea of being again the best beloved; and her energetic spirit
  bounded at the thought of being no longer condemned to a life of idle
  ease。  Still it was too new a light to her to be readily accepted;
  after she had looked on him so long; merely as a familiar of the
  house; attentive to her; because she fell to his share; when Flora
  was occupied。  She liked him; decidedly; she could possibly do more;
  but she was far more inclined to dread; than to desire; any
  disturbance of their present terms of intercourse。
  〃However;〃 thought she; 〃I must see my way。  If he should have any
  such thing in his head; to go on as we do now would be committing
  myself; and I will not do that; unless I am sure it is right。   Oh;
  papa; you would settle it for me!  But I will have it out with Flora。
  She will find out what I cannothow far he is a man for whom one
  ought to care。  I do not think Norman liked him; but then Norman has
  so keen a sense of the world…touched。  I suppose I am that!  If any
  other life did but seem appointed for me; but one cannot tell what is
  thwarting providential leading; and if this be as good a man as
  What would Ethel say?  If I could but talk to Dr。 May!  But Flora I
  will catch; before I see him again; that I may know how to behave。〃
  Catching Flora was not the easiest thing in the world; among her
  multifarious occupations; but Meta was not the damsel to lose an
  opportunity for want of decision。
  Flora saw what was coming; and was annoyed with herself for having
  given the alarm; but; after all; it must have come some time or
  other; though she had rather that Meta had been more involved first。
  It should be premised that Mrs。 Rivers had no notion of the degree of
  attachment felt by her brother for Meta; she only knew that Lady
  Leonora had a general distrust of her family; and she felt it a point
  of honour to promote no dangerous meetings; and to encourage Sir
  Henrya connection who would be most valuable; both as conferring
  importance upon George in the county; and as being himself related to
  persons of high influence; whose interest might push on her brothers。
  Preferment for Richard; promotion for Harry; nay; diplomatic
  appointments for Tom; came floating before her imagination; even
  while she smiled at her Alnaschar visions。
  But the tone of Meta; as she drew her almost forcibly into her room;
  showed her that she had given a great shock to her basket。
  〃Flora; if you would only give me a minute; and would tell me〃
  〃What?〃 asked Flora; not inclined to spare her blushes。
  〃Whether; whether you meant anything in earnest?〃
  〃My dear little goose; did no one ever make an innocent joke in their
  lives before?〃
  〃It was very silly of me;〃 said Meta; 〃but you gave me a terrible
  fright。〃
  〃Was it so very terrible; poor little bird?〃 said Flora; in
  commiseration。  〃Well then; you may safely think of him as a man tame
  about the house。  It was much prettier of you not to appropriate the
  flowers; as any other damsel would have done。〃
  〃Do you really and truly think〃 began Meta; but; from the colour of
  her cheek and the timid resolution of her tone; Flora thought it
  safest not to hear the interrogation; and answered; 〃I know what he
  comes here forit is only as a refuge from his mother's friend; old
  Lady Drummond; who would give the world to catch him for her
  daughtersthat's all。  Put my nonsense out of your head; and be
  yourself; my sweet one。〃
  Flora had never gone so near an untruth; as when she led Meta to
  believe this was the sole reason。  But; after all; what did Flora
  herself know to the contrary?
  Meta recovered her ease; and Flora marked; as weeks passed on; that
  she grew more accustomed to Sir Henry's attentions。  A little while;
  and she would find herself so far bound by the encouragement she had
  given; that she could not reject him。
  〃My dear;〃 said George; 〃when do you think of going down to take the
  baby to the Grange?  She looks dull; I think。〃
  〃Really; I think it is hardly worth while to go down en masse;〃 said
  Flora。  〃These last debates may be important; and it is a bad time to
  quit one's post。  Don't you think so?〃
  〃As you pleasethe train is a great bore。〃
  〃And we will send the baby down the last day before we go to Ryde;
  with Preston and Butts to take care of her。  We can't spare him to
  take them down; till we shut up the house。  It is so much easier for
  us to go to Portsmouth from hence。〃
  The lurking conviction was that one confidential talk with Ethel
  would cause the humming…bird to break the toils that were being wound
  invisibly round her。  Ethel and her father knew nothing of the world;
  and were so unreasonable in their requirements!  Meta would consult
  them all; and all her scruples would awaken; and perhaps Dr。 Spencer
  might be interrogated on Sir Henry's life abroad; where Flora had a
  suspicion that gossip had best not be raked up。
  Not that she concealed anything positively known to her; or that she
  was not acting just as she would have done by her own child。  She