第 137 节
作者:
这就是结局 更新:2022-08-21 16:40 字数:9322
daring at first to speak; but sending up intense mental prayers to
Him; who alone could bear her or her dear father through their
affliction。 Then she ventured to take her hand; and Margaret
returned the caress; but began to blame herself for the momentary
selfishness that had allowed her brother's loss and her father's
grief to have been forgotten in her own。 Ethel's 〃oh! no! no!〃 did
not console her for this which seemed the most present sorrow; but
the flow of tears was so gentle; that Ethel trusted that they were a
relief。 Ethel herself seemed only able to watch her; and to fear for
her father; not to be able to think for herself。
The front door opened; and they heard Dr。 May's step hesitating in
the hall; as if he could not bear to come in。
〃Go to him!〃 cried Margaret; wiping off her tears。 Ethel stood a
moment in the doorway; then sprang to him; and was clasped in his
arms。
〃You know it?〃 he whispered。
〃Dr。 Spencer told us。 Did not you meet him?〃
〃No。 I read it at Bramshaw's office。 How〃 He could not say the
words; but he looked towards the room; and wrung the hand he held。
〃Quiet。 Like herself。 Come。〃
He threw one arm round Ethel; and laid his hand on her head。 〃How
much there is to be thankful for!〃 he said; then advancing; he hung
over Margaret; calling her his own poor darling。
〃Papa; you must forgive me。 You said sending him to sea was giving
him up。〃
〃Did I。 Well; Margaret; he did his duty。 That is all we have to
live for。 Our yellow…haired laddie made a gallant sailor; and〃
Tears choked his utteranceMargaret gently stroked his hand。
〃It falls hard on you; my poor girl;〃 he said。
〃No; papa;〃 said Margaret; 〃I am content and thankful。 He is spared
pain and perplexity。〃
〃You are right; I believe;〃 said Dr。 May。 〃He would have been
grieved not to find you better。〃
〃I ought to grieve for my own selfishness;〃 said Margaret。 〃I cannot
help it! I cannot be sorry the link is unbroken; and that he had not
to turn to any one else。〃
〃He never would!〃 cried Dr。 May; almost angrily。
〃I tried to think he ought;〃 said Margaret。 〃His life would have
been too dreary。 But it is best as it is。〃
〃It must be;〃 said the doctor。 〃Where are the rest; Ethel? Call
them all down。〃
Poor Mary; Ethel felt as if she had neglected her! She found her
hanging over the nursery fire; alternating with old nurse in fond
reminiscences of Harry's old days; sometimes almost laughing at his
pranks; then crying again; while Aubrey sat between them; drinking in
each word。
Blanche and Gertrude came from the schoolroom; where Miss Bracy
seemed to have been occupying them; with much kindness and judgment。
She came to the door to ask Ethel anxiously for the doctor and Miss
May; and looked so affectionate and sympathising; that Ethel gave her
a hearty kiss。
〃Dear Miss Ethel! if you can only let me help you。〃
〃Thank you;〃 said Ethel with all her heart; and hurried away。
Nothing was more in favour of Miss Bracy; than that there should be a
hurry。 Then she could be warm; and not morbid。
Dr。 May gathered his children round him; and took out the great
Prayer…book。 He read a psalm and a prayer from the Burial Service;
and the sentence for funerals at sea。 Then he touched each of their
heads; and; in short broken sentences; gave thanks for those still
left to him; and for the blessed hope they could feel for those who
were gone; and he prayed that they might so follow in their
footsteps; as to come to the same holy place; and in the meantime
realise the Communion of Saints。 Then they said the Lord's Prayer;
he blessed them; and they arose。
〃Mary; my dear;〃 he said; 〃you have a photograph。〃
She put the case into his hands; and ran away。
He went to the study; where he found Dr。 Spencer awaiting him。
〃I am only come to know where I shall go for you。〃
〃Thank you; Spencer。 Thank you for taking care of my poor girls。〃
〃They took care of themselves。 They have the secret of strength。〃
〃They have〃 He turned aside; and burst out; 〃Oh; Spencer! you have
been spared a great deal。 If you missed a great deal of joy; you
have missed almost as much sorrow!〃 And; covering his face; he let
his grief have a free course。
〃Dick! dear old Dick; you must bear up。 Think what treasures you
have left。〃
〃I do。 I try to do so;〃 said poor Dr。 May; 〃but; Spencer; you never
saw my yellow…haired laddie; with his lion look! He was the flower
of them all! Not one of these other boys came near him in manliness;
and with such a loving heart! An hour ago; I thought any certainty
would be gain; but now I would give a lifetime to have back the hope
that I might see my boy's face again! Oh; Spencer! this is the first
time I could rejoice that his mother is not here!〃
〃She would have been your comforter;〃 sighed his friend; as he felt
his inability to contend with such grief。
〃There; I can be thankful;〃 Dr。 May said; and he looked so。 〃She has
had her brave loving boy with her all this time; while we little
thoughtbut there are others。 My poor Margaret〃
〃Her patience must be blessed;〃 said Dr。 Spencer。 〃I think she will
be better。 Now that the suspense no longer preys on her; there will
be more rest。〃
〃Rest;〃 repeated Dr。 May; supporting his head on his hand; and;
looking up dreamily〃there remaineth a rest〃
The large Bible lay beside him on the table; and Dr。 Spencer thought
that he would find more rest there than in his words。 Leaving him;
therefore; his friend went to undertake his day's work; and learn;
once more; in the anxious inquiries and saddened countenances of the
patients and their friends; how great an amount of love and sympathy
that Dr。 May had won by his own warmth of heart。 The patients seemed
to forget their complaints in sighs for their kind doctor's troubles;
and the gouty Mayor of Stoneborough kept Dr。 Spencer half an hour to
listen to his recollections of the bright…faced boy's droll tricks;
and then to the praises of the whole May family; and especially of
the mother。
Poor Dr。 Spencer! he heard her accident described so many times in
the course of the day; that his visits were one course of shrinking
and suffering; and his only satisfaction was in knowing how his
friend would be cheered by hearing of the universal feeling for him
and his children。
Ethel wrote letters to her brothers; and Dr。 May added a few lines;
begging Richard to come home; if only for a few days。 Margaret would
not be denied writing to Hector Ernescliffe; though she cried over
her letter so much that her father could almost have taken her pen
away; but she said it did her good。
When Flora came in the afternoon; Ethel was able to leave Margaret to
her; and attend to Mary; with whom Miss Bracy's kindness had been
inefficacious。 If she was cheered for a few minutes; some
association; either with the past or the vanished future; soon set
her off sobbing again。 〃If I only knew where dear; dear Harry is
lying;〃 she sobbed; 〃and that it had not been very bad indeed; I
could bear it better。〃
The ghastly uncertainty was too terrible for Ethel to have borne to
contemplate it。 She knew that it would haunt their pillows; and she
was trying to nerve herself by faith。
〃Mary;〃 she said; 〃that is the worst; but; after all; God willed that
we should not know。 We must bear it like His good children。 It
makes no differences to them now〃
〃I know;〃 said Mary; trying to check her sobs。
〃And; you know; we are all in the same keeping。 The sea is a
glorious great pure thing; you know; that man cannot hurt or defile。
It seems to me;〃 said Ethel; looking up; 〃as if resting there was
like being buried in our baptism…tide over again; till the great new
birth。 It must be the next best place to a churchyard。 Anywhere;
they are as safe as among the daisies in our own cloister。〃
〃Say it againwhat you said about the sea;〃 said Mary; more
comforted than if Ethel had been talking down to her。
By and by Ethel discovered that the sharpest trouble to the fond
simple girl was the deprivation of her precious photograph。 It was
like losing Harry over again; to go to bed without it; though she
would not for the world seem to grudge it to her father。
Ethel found an opportunity of telling him of this distress; and it
almost made him smile。 〃Poor Mary;〃 he said; 〃is she so fond of it?
It is rather a libel than a likeness。〃
〃Don't say so to her; pray; papa。 It is all the world to her。 Three
strokes on paper would have been the same; if they had been called by
his name。〃
〃Yes; a loving heart has eyes of its own; and she is a dear girl!〃
He did not forget to restore the treasure with gratitude
proportionate to what the loan had cost Mary。 With a trembling
voice; she proffered it to him for the whole day; and every day; if
she might only have it at night; and she even looked black when he
did not accept the proposal。
〃It is exactly like〃 said she。
〃It can't help being so; in a certain sense;〃 he answered kindly;
〃but after all; Mary dear; he did not pout out his chin in that way。〃
Mary was somewhat mortified; but she valued her photograph more than
ever; because no on