第 12 节
作者:这就是结局      更新:2022-08-21 16:39      字数:9322
  motherless Daisy!〃
  CHAPTER V。
  Through lawless camp; through ocean wild;
  Her prophet eye pursues her child;
  Scans mournfully her poet's strain;
  Fears for her merchant; loss alike and gain。〃
  LYRA INNOCENTIUM。
  Dr。 May took the management of himself into his own hands; and paid
  so little attention to Mr。 Ward's recommendations that his sons and
  daughters were in continual dread of his choosing to do something
  that might cause injurious agitation。
  However; he did not go further than Margaret's bedroom where he sat
  hour after hour his eyes fixed upon her; as she continued in a state
  bordering on insensibility。  He took little notice of anything else;
  and hardly spoke。  There were heavy sighs now and then; but Richard
  and Flora; one or other of whom were always watching him; could
  hardly tell whether to ascribe them to the oppression of sorrow or of
  suffering。  Their great fear was of his insisting on seeing his
  wife's face; and it was a great relief that he never alluded to her;
  except once; to desire Richard to bring him her ring。  Richard
  silently obeyed; and; without a word; he placed it on his little
  finger。  Richard used to read the Psalms to him in the morning;
  before he was up; and Flora would bring little Daisy and lay her by
  his side。
  To the last moment they dreaded his choosing to attend the funeral;
  and Flora had decided on remaining at home; though trembling at the
  thought of what there might be to go through。  They tried to let him
  hear nothing about it; but he seemed to know everything; and when
  Flora came into Margaret's room without her bonnet; he raised his
  head; and said; 〃I thought you were all going。〃
  〃The others arebut may I not stay with you and her; papa?〃
  〃I had rather be alone; my dears。  I will take care of her。  I should
  wish you all to be there。〃
  They decided that his wishes ought to be followed; and that the
  patients must be entrusted to old nurse。  Richard told Flora; who
  looked very pale; that she would be glad of it afterwards; and she
  had his arm to lean upon。
  The grave was in the cloister attached to the minster; a smooth green
  square of turf; marked here and there with small flat lozenges of
  stone; bearing the date and initials of those who lay there; and many
  of them recording former generations of Mays; to whom their descent
  from the headmaster had given a right of burial there。  Dr。 Hoxton;
  Mr。 Wilmot; and the surgeon; were the only friends whom Richard had
  asked to be with them; but the minster was nearly full; for there was
  a very strong attachment and respect for Dr。 and Mrs。 May throughout
  the neighbourhood; and every one's feelings were strongly excited。
  〃In the midst of life; we are in death〃 There was a universal sound
  as of a sort of sob; that Etheldred never disconnected from those
  words。  Yet hardly one tear was shed by the young things who stood as
  close as they could round the grave。  Harry and Mary did indeed lock
  their hands together tightly; and the shoulders of the former shook
  as he stood; bowing down his head; but the others were still and
  quiet; in part from awe and bewilderment; but partly; too; from a
  sense that it was against her whole nature that there should be
  clamorous mourning for her。  The calm still day seemed to tell them
  the same; the sun beaming softly on the gray arches and fresh grass;
  the sky clear and blue; and the trees that showed over the walls
  bright with autumn colouring; all suitable to the serenity of a life
  unclouded to its last moment。  Some of them felt as if it were better
  to be there than in their saddened desolate home。
  But home they must go; and; before going upstairs; as Flora and
  Etheldred stood a moment or two with Norman; Ethel said in a tone of
  resolution; and of some cheerfulness; 〃Well; we have to begin
  afresh。〃
  〃Yes;〃 said Flora; 〃it is a great responsibility。  I do trust we may
  be enabled to do as we ought。〃
  〃And now Margaret is getting better; she will be our stay;〃 said
  Ethel。
  〃I must go to her;〃 and Flora went upstairs。
  〃I wish I could be as useful as Flora;〃 said Ethel; but I mean to
  try; and if I can but keep out of mischief; it will be something。
  〃There is an object for all one does; in trying to be a comfort to
  papa。〃
  〃That's no use;〃 said Norman; listlessly。 〃We never can。〃
  〃Oh; but; Norman; he won't be always as he is nowI am sure he cares
  for us enough to be pleased; if we do right and get on。〃
  〃We used to be so happy!〃 said Norman。
  Ethel hesitated a little; and presently answered; 〃I don't think it
  can be right to lament for our own sakes so much; is it?〃
  〃I don't want to do so;〃 said Norman; in the same dejected way。
  〃I suppose we ought not to feel it either。〃  Norman only shook his
  head。  〃We ought to think of her gain。  You can't?  Well; I am glad;
  for no more can I。  I can't think of her liking for papa and baby and
  all of us to be left to ourselves。  But that's not right of me; and
  of course it all comes right where she is; so I always put that out
  of my head; and think what is to come next in doing; and pleasing
  papa; and learning。〃
  〃That's grown horrid;〃 said Norman。  〃There's no pleasure in getting
  on; nor in anything。〃
  〃Don't you care for papa and all of us being glad; Norman?〃  As
  Norman could not just then say that he did; he would not answer。
  〃I wish〃 said Ethel; disappointed; but cheering up the next minute。
  〃I do believe it is having nothing to do。  You will be better when
  you get back to school on Monday。〃
  〃That is worst of all!〃
  〃You don't like going among the boys again?  But that must be done
  some time or other。  Or shall I get Richard to speak to Dr。 Hoxton to
  let you have another week's leave?〃
  〃No; no; don't be foolish。  It can't be helped。〃
  〃I am very sorry; but I think you will be better for it。〃
  She almost began to fancy herself unfeeling; when she found him so
  much more depressed than she was herself; and unable to feel it a
  relief to know that the time of rest and want of occupation was over。
  She thought it light…minded; though she could not help it; to look
  forward to the daily studies where she might lose her sad thoughts
  and be as if everything were as usual。  But suppose she should be to
  blame; where would now be the gentle discipline?  Poor Ethel's
  feelings were not such as to deserve the imputation of levity; when
  this thought came over her; but her buoyant mind; always seeking for
  consolation; recurred to Margaret's improvement; and she fixed her
  hopes on her。
  Margaret was more alive to surrounding objects; and; when roused; she
  knew them all; answered clearly when addressed; had even; more than
  once; spoken of her own accord; and shown solicitude at the sight of
  her father's bandaged; helpless arm; but he soon soothed this away。
  He was more than ever watchful over her; and could scarcely be
  persuaded to leave her for one moment; in his anxiety to be at hand
  to answer; when first she should speak of her mother; a moment
  apprehended by all the rest; almost as much for his sake as for hers。
  So clear had her perceptions been; and so much more awake did she
  appear; on this evening; that he expected the inquiry to come every
  moment; and lingered in her room; till she asked the hour; and begged
  him to go to bed。
  As he bent over her; she looked up in his face; and said softly;
  〃Dear papa。〃
  There was that in her tone which showed she perceived the truth; and
  he knelt by her side kissing her; but not daring to relax his
  restraint of feeling。
  〃Dear papa;〃 she said again; 〃I hope I shall soon be better; and be
  some comfort to you。〃
  〃My bestmy ownmy comfort;〃 he murmured; all he could say without
  giving way。〃
  〃Babyis she well?〃
  〃Yes; thank Heaven; she has not suffered at all。〃
  〃I heard her this morning; I must see her to…morrow。  But don't stay;
  dear; dear papa; it is late; and I am sure you are not at all well。
  Your armis it very much hurt?〃
  〃It is nothing you need think about; my dear。  I am much better than
  I could have imagined possible。〃
  〃And you have been nursing me all the time!  Papa; you must let me
  take care of you now。  Do pray go to bed at once; and get up late。
  Nurse will take good care of me。  Good…night; dear papa。〃
  When Dr。 May had left her; and tried to tell Richard how it had been;
  the tears cut him short; and had their free course; but there was
  much of thankfulness; for it might be looked on as the restoration of
  his daughter; the worst was over; and the next day he was able to
  think of other things; had more attention to spare for the rest; and
  when the surgeon came; took some professional interest in the
  condition of his own arm; inquired after his patients; and even
  talked of visiting them。
  In the meantime; Margaret sent for her eldest brother; begging him to
  tell her the whole; and it was heard as calmly and firmly as it was
  told。  Her bodily state lulled her mind; and besides it was not new;
  she had observed much while her faculties were still too much
  benumbed for her to understand all; or to express her feelings。  Her
  thoughts seemed chiefly occupied with her father。  She made Richard
  explain to her the in