第 12 节
作者:
这就是结局 更新:2022-08-21 16:39 字数:9322
motherless Daisy!〃
CHAPTER V。
Through lawless camp; through ocean wild;
Her prophet eye pursues her child;
Scans mournfully her poet's strain;
Fears for her merchant; loss alike and gain。〃
LYRA INNOCENTIUM。
Dr。 May took the management of himself into his own hands; and paid
so little attention to Mr。 Ward's recommendations that his sons and
daughters were in continual dread of his choosing to do something
that might cause injurious agitation。
However; he did not go further than Margaret's bedroom where he sat
hour after hour his eyes fixed upon her; as she continued in a state
bordering on insensibility。 He took little notice of anything else;
and hardly spoke。 There were heavy sighs now and then; but Richard
and Flora; one or other of whom were always watching him; could
hardly tell whether to ascribe them to the oppression of sorrow or of
suffering。 Their great fear was of his insisting on seeing his
wife's face; and it was a great relief that he never alluded to her;
except once; to desire Richard to bring him her ring。 Richard
silently obeyed; and; without a word; he placed it on his little
finger。 Richard used to read the Psalms to him in the morning;
before he was up; and Flora would bring little Daisy and lay her by
his side。
To the last moment they dreaded his choosing to attend the funeral;
and Flora had decided on remaining at home; though trembling at the
thought of what there might be to go through。 They tried to let him
hear nothing about it; but he seemed to know everything; and when
Flora came into Margaret's room without her bonnet; he raised his
head; and said; 〃I thought you were all going。〃
〃The others arebut may I not stay with you and her; papa?〃
〃I had rather be alone; my dears。 I will take care of her。 I should
wish you all to be there。〃
They decided that his wishes ought to be followed; and that the
patients must be entrusted to old nurse。 Richard told Flora; who
looked very pale; that she would be glad of it afterwards; and she
had his arm to lean upon。
The grave was in the cloister attached to the minster; a smooth green
square of turf; marked here and there with small flat lozenges of
stone; bearing the date and initials of those who lay there; and many
of them recording former generations of Mays; to whom their descent
from the headmaster had given a right of burial there。 Dr。 Hoxton;
Mr。 Wilmot; and the surgeon; were the only friends whom Richard had
asked to be with them; but the minster was nearly full; for there was
a very strong attachment and respect for Dr。 and Mrs。 May throughout
the neighbourhood; and every one's feelings were strongly excited。
〃In the midst of life; we are in death〃 There was a universal sound
as of a sort of sob; that Etheldred never disconnected from those
words。 Yet hardly one tear was shed by the young things who stood as
close as they could round the grave。 Harry and Mary did indeed lock
their hands together tightly; and the shoulders of the former shook
as he stood; bowing down his head; but the others were still and
quiet; in part from awe and bewilderment; but partly; too; from a
sense that it was against her whole nature that there should be
clamorous mourning for her。 The calm still day seemed to tell them
the same; the sun beaming softly on the gray arches and fresh grass;
the sky clear and blue; and the trees that showed over the walls
bright with autumn colouring; all suitable to the serenity of a life
unclouded to its last moment。 Some of them felt as if it were better
to be there than in their saddened desolate home。
But home they must go; and; before going upstairs; as Flora and
Etheldred stood a moment or two with Norman; Ethel said in a tone of
resolution; and of some cheerfulness; 〃Well; we have to begin
afresh。〃
〃Yes;〃 said Flora; 〃it is a great responsibility。 I do trust we may
be enabled to do as we ought。〃
〃And now Margaret is getting better; she will be our stay;〃 said
Ethel。
〃I must go to her;〃 and Flora went upstairs。
〃I wish I could be as useful as Flora;〃 said Ethel; but I mean to
try; and if I can but keep out of mischief; it will be something。
〃There is an object for all one does; in trying to be a comfort to
papa。〃
〃That's no use;〃 said Norman; listlessly。 〃We never can。〃
〃Oh; but; Norman; he won't be always as he is nowI am sure he cares
for us enough to be pleased; if we do right and get on。〃
〃We used to be so happy!〃 said Norman。
Ethel hesitated a little; and presently answered; 〃I don't think it
can be right to lament for our own sakes so much; is it?〃
〃I don't want to do so;〃 said Norman; in the same dejected way。
〃I suppose we ought not to feel it either。〃 Norman only shook his
head。 〃We ought to think of her gain。 You can't? Well; I am glad;
for no more can I。 I can't think of her liking for papa and baby and
all of us to be left to ourselves。 But that's not right of me; and
of course it all comes right where she is; so I always put that out
of my head; and think what is to come next in doing; and pleasing
papa; and learning。〃
〃That's grown horrid;〃 said Norman。 〃There's no pleasure in getting
on; nor in anything。〃
〃Don't you care for papa and all of us being glad; Norman?〃 As
Norman could not just then say that he did; he would not answer。
〃I wish〃 said Ethel; disappointed; but cheering up the next minute。
〃I do believe it is having nothing to do。 You will be better when
you get back to school on Monday。〃
〃That is worst of all!〃
〃You don't like going among the boys again? But that must be done
some time or other。 Or shall I get Richard to speak to Dr。 Hoxton to
let you have another week's leave?〃
〃No; no; don't be foolish。 It can't be helped。〃
〃I am very sorry; but I think you will be better for it。〃
She almost began to fancy herself unfeeling; when she found him so
much more depressed than she was herself; and unable to feel it a
relief to know that the time of rest and want of occupation was over。
She thought it light…minded; though she could not help it; to look
forward to the daily studies where she might lose her sad thoughts
and be as if everything were as usual。 But suppose she should be to
blame; where would now be the gentle discipline? Poor Ethel's
feelings were not such as to deserve the imputation of levity; when
this thought came over her; but her buoyant mind; always seeking for
consolation; recurred to Margaret's improvement; and she fixed her
hopes on her。
Margaret was more alive to surrounding objects; and; when roused; she
knew them all; answered clearly when addressed; had even; more than
once; spoken of her own accord; and shown solicitude at the sight of
her father's bandaged; helpless arm; but he soon soothed this away。
He was more than ever watchful over her; and could scarcely be
persuaded to leave her for one moment; in his anxiety to be at hand
to answer; when first she should speak of her mother; a moment
apprehended by all the rest; almost as much for his sake as for hers。
So clear had her perceptions been; and so much more awake did she
appear; on this evening; that he expected the inquiry to come every
moment; and lingered in her room; till she asked the hour; and begged
him to go to bed。
As he bent over her; she looked up in his face; and said softly;
〃Dear papa。〃
There was that in her tone which showed she perceived the truth; and
he knelt by her side kissing her; but not daring to relax his
restraint of feeling。
〃Dear papa;〃 she said again; 〃I hope I shall soon be better; and be
some comfort to you。〃
〃My bestmy ownmy comfort;〃 he murmured; all he could say without
giving way。〃
〃Babyis she well?〃
〃Yes; thank Heaven; she has not suffered at all。〃
〃I heard her this morning; I must see her to…morrow。 But don't stay;
dear; dear papa; it is late; and I am sure you are not at all well。
Your armis it very much hurt?〃
〃It is nothing you need think about; my dear。 I am much better than
I could have imagined possible。〃
〃And you have been nursing me all the time! Papa; you must let me
take care of you now。 Do pray go to bed at once; and get up late。
Nurse will take good care of me。 Good…night; dear papa。〃
When Dr。 May had left her; and tried to tell Richard how it had been;
the tears cut him short; and had their free course; but there was
much of thankfulness; for it might be looked on as the restoration of
his daughter; the worst was over; and the next day he was able to
think of other things; had more attention to spare for the rest; and
when the surgeon came; took some professional interest in the
condition of his own arm; inquired after his patients; and even
talked of visiting them。
In the meantime; Margaret sent for her eldest brother; begging him to
tell her the whole; and it was heard as calmly and firmly as it was
told。 Her bodily state lulled her mind; and besides it was not new;
she had observed much while her faculties were still too much
benumbed for her to understand all; or to express her feelings。 Her
thoughts seemed chiefly occupied with her father。 She made Richard
explain to her the in