第 179 节
作者:
青涩春天 更新:2022-07-12 16:22 字数:9322
her hand?
She stole to the door of Number Three and listened。 The slow;
regular breathing of a sleeping man was just audible。 After
waiting a moment to let the feeling of relief quiet her; she took
a step toward Number Four; and checked herself。 It was needless
to listen at _that_ door。 The doctor had told her that Sleep came
first; as certainly as Death afterward; in the poisoned air。 She
looked aside at the clock。 The time had come for the fourth
Pouring。
Her hand began to tremble violently as she fed the funnel for the
fourth time。 The fear of her husband was back again in her heart。
What if some noise disturbed him before the sixth Pouring? What
if he woke on a sudden (as she had often seen him wake) without
any noise at all? She looked up and down the corridor。 The end
room; in which Mr。 Bashwood had been concealed; offered itself to
her as a place of refuge。 〃I might go in there!〃 she thought。
〃Has he left the key?〃 She opened the door to look; and saw the
handkerchief thrown down on the floor。 Was it Mr。 Bashwood's
handkerchief; left there by accident? She examined it at the
corners。 In the second corner she found her husband's name!
Her first impulse hurried her to the staircase door; to rouse the
steward and insist on an explanation。 The next moment she
remembered the Purple Flask; and the danger of leaving the
corridor。 She turned; and looked at the door of Number Three。 Her
husband; on the evidence of the handkerchief; had unquestionably
been out of his roomand Mr。 Bashwood had not told her。 Was he
in his room now? In the violence of her agitation; as the
question passed through her mind; she forgot the discovery which
she had herself made not a minute before。 Again she listened at
the door; again she heard the slow;
regular breathing of the sleeping man。 The first time the
evidence of her ears had been enough to quiet her; _this_ time;
in the tenfold aggravation of her suspicion and her alarm; she
was determined to have the evidence of her eyes as well。 〃All the
doors open softly in this house;〃 she said to herself; 〃there's
no fear of my waking him。〃 Noiselessly; by an inch at a time; she
opened the unlocked door; and looked in the moment the aperture
was wide enough。 In the little light she had let into the room;
the sleeper's head was just visible on the pillow。 Was it quite
as dark against the white pillow as her husband's head looked
when he was in bed? Was the breathing as light as her husband's
breathing when he was asleep?
She opened the door more widely; and looked in by the clearer
light。
There lay the man whose life she had attempted for the third
time; peacefully sleeping in the room that had been given to her
husband; and in the air that could harm nobody!
The inevitable conclusion overwhelmed her on the instant。 With a
frantic upward action of her hands she staggered back into the
passage。 The door of Allan's room fell to; but not noisily enough
to wake him。 She turned as she heard it close。 For one moment she
stood staring at it like a woman stupefied。 The next; her
instinct rushed into action; before her reason recovered itself。
In two steps she was at the door of Number Four。
The door was locked。
She felt over the wall with both hands; wildly and clumsily; for
the button which she had seen the doctor press when he was
showing the room to the visitors。 Twice she missed it。 The third
time her eyes helped her hands; she found the button and pressed
on it。 The mortise of the lock inside fell back; and the door
yielded to her。
Without an instant's hesitation she entered the room。 Though the
door was openthough so short a time had elapsed since the
fourth Pouring that but little more than half the contemplated
volume of gas had been produced as yetthe poisoned air seized
her; like the grasp of a hand at her throat; like the twisting of
a wire round her head。 She found him on the floor at the foot of
the bed: his head and one arm were toward the door; as if he had
risen under the first feeling of drowsiness; and had sunk in the
effort to leave the room。 With the desperate concentration of
strength of which women are capable in emergencies; she lifted
him and dragged him out into the corridor。 Her brain reeled as
she laid him down; and crawled back on her knees to the room to
shut out the poisoned air from pursuing them into the passage。
After closing the door; she waited; without daring to look at him
the while; for strength enough to rise and get to the window over
the stairs。 When the window was opened; when the keen air of the
early winter morning blew steadily in; she ventured back to him
and raised his head; and looked for the first time closely at his
face。
Was it death that spread the livid pallor over his forehead and
his cheeks; and the dull leaden hue on his eyelids and his lips?
She loosened his cravat and opened his waistcoat; and bared his
throat and breast to the air。 With her hand on his heart; with
her bosom supporting his head; so that he fronted the window; she
waited the event。 A time passed: a time short enough to be
reckoned by minutes on the clock; and yet long enough to take her
memory back over all her married life with himlong enough to
mature the resolution that now rose in her mind as the one result
that could come of the retrospect。 As her eyes rested on him; a
strange composure settled slowly on her face。 She bore the look
of a woman who was equally resigned to welcome the chance of his
recovery; or to accept the certainty of his death。
Not a cry or a tear had escaped her yet。 Not a cry or a tear
escaped her when the interval had passed; and she felt the first
faint fluttering of his heart; and heard the first faint catching
of the breath of his lips。 She silently bent over him and kissed
his forehead。 When she looked up again; the hard despair had
melted from her face。 There was something softly radiant in her
eyes; which lit her whole countenance as with an inner light; and
made her womanly and lovely once more。
She laid him down; and; taking off her shawl; made a pillow of it
to support his head。 〃It might have been hard; love;〃 she said;
as she felt the faint pulsation strengthening at his heart。 〃You
have made it easy now。〃
She rose; and; turning from him; noticed the Purple Flask in the
place where she had left it since the fourth Pouring。 〃Ah;〃 she
thought; quietly; 〃I had forgotten my best friendI had
forgotten that there is more to pour in yet。〃
With a steady hand; with a calm; attentive face; she fed the
funnel for the fifth time。 〃Five minutes more;〃 she said; when
she had put the Flask back; after a look at the clock。
She fell into thoughtthought that only deepened the grave and
gentle composure of her face。 〃Shall I write him a farewell
word?〃 she asked herself。 〃Shall I tell him the truth before I
leave him forever?〃
Her little gold pencil…case hung with the other toys at her
watch…chain。 After looking about her for a moment; she knelt over
her husband and put her hand into the breast…pocket of his coat。
His pocket…book was there。 Some papers fell from it as she
unfastened the clasp。 One of them was the letter which had come
to him from Mr。 Brock's death…bed。 She turned over the two sheets
of note…paper on which the rector had written the words that had
now come true; and found the last page of the last sheet a blank。
On that page she wrote her farewell words; kneeling at her
husband's side。
〃I am worse than the worst you can think of me。 You have saved
Armadale by changing rooms with him to…night; and you have saved
him from Me。 You can guess now whose widow I should have claimed
to be; if you had not preserved his life; and you will know what
a wretch you married when you married the woman who writes these
lines。 Still; I had some innocent moments; and then I loved you
dearly。 Forget me; my darling; in the love of a better woman than
I am。 I might; perhaps; have been that better woman myself; if I
had not lived a miserable life before you met with me。 It matters
little now。 The one atonement I can make for all the wrong I have
done you is the atonement of my death。 It is not hard for me to
die; now I know you will live。 Even my wickedness has one
meritit has not prospered。 I have never been a happy woman。〃
She folded the letter again; and put it into his hand; to attract
his attention in that way when he came to himself。 As she gently
closed his fingers on the paper and looked up; the last minute of
the last interval faced her; recorded on the clock。
She bent over him; and gave him her farewell kiss。
〃Live; my angel; live!〃 she murmured; tenderly; with her lips
just touching his。 〃All your life is before youa happy life;
and an honored life; if you are freed from _me!_〃
With a last; lingering tenderness; she parted the hair back from
his forehead。 〃It is no merit to have loved you;〃 she said。 〃You
are one of the men whom women all like。〃 She sighed and left him。
It was her last weakness。 She bent her head affirmatively to the
clock; as if it had been a living creature speaking to her; and
fed the funnel for the last time; to the last drop left in the
Flask。
The waning m