第 117 节
作者:
青涩春天 更新:2022-07-12 16:22 字数:9322
Armadale has injured me; and I have been to his house and
forgiven him the injury。 Surely there must be some mistake;
ladies? You can't have really come here to remonstrate with me in
a Christian spirit for performing an act of Christianity?'
〃The two Gorgons got up。 I firmly believe some women have cats'
tails as well as cats' faces。 I firmly believe the tails of those
two particular cats wagged slowly under their petticoats; and
swelled to four times their proper size。
〃 'Temper we were prepared for; Miss Gwilt;' they said; 'but not
Profanity。 We wish you good…evening。'
〃So they left me; and so 'Miss Gwilt' sinks out of the
patronizing notice of the neighborhood
〃I wonder what will come of this trumpery little quarrel? One
thing will come of it which I can see already。 The report will
reach Miss Milroy's ears; she will insist on Armadale's
justifying himself; and Armadale will end in satisfying her of
his innocence by making another proposal。 This will be quite
likely to hasten matters between them; at least it would with me。
If I was in her place; I should say to myself; 'I will make sure
of him while I can。' Supposing it doesn't rain to…morrow morning;
I think I will take another early walk in the direction of the
park。
〃Midnight。As I can't take my drops; with a morning walk before
me; I may as well give up all hope of sleeping; and go on with my
diary。 Even with my drops; I doubt if my head would be very quiet
on my pillow to…night。 Since the little excitement of the scene
with my 'lady…patronesses' has worn off; I have been troubled
with misgivings which would leave me but a poor chance; under any
circumstances; of getting much rest。
〃I can't imagine why; but the parting words spoken to Armadale by
that old brute of a lawyer have come back to my mind! Here they
are; as reported in Mr。 Bashwood's letter: 'Some other person's
curiosity may go on from the point where you (and I) have
stopped; and some other person's hand may let the broad daylight
in yet on Miss Gwilt。'
〃What does he mean by that? And what did he mean afterward when
he overtook old Bashwood in the drive; by telling him to gratify
his curiosity? Does this hateful Pedgift actually suppose there
is any chance ? Ridiculous! Why; I have only to _look_ at the
feeble old creature; and he daren't lift his little finger unless
I tell him。 _He_ try to pry into my past life; indeed! Why;
people with ten times his brains; and a hundred times his
courage; hare triedand have left off as wise as they began。
〃I don't know; though; it might have been better if I had kept my
temper when Bashwood was here the other night。 And it might be
better still if I saw him to…morrow; and took him back into my
good graces by giving him something to do for me。 Suppose I tell
him to look after the two Pedgifts; and to discover whether there
is any chance of their attempting to renew their connection with
Armadale? No such thing is at all likely; but if I gave old
Bashwood this commission; it would flatter his sense of his own
importance to me; and would at the same time serve the excellent
purpose of keeping him out of my way。
〃Thursday morning; nine o'clock。I have just got back from the
park。
〃For once I have proved a true prophet。 There they were together;
at the same early hour; in the same secluded situation among the
trees; and there was miss in full possession of the report of my
visit to the great house; and taking her tone accordingly。
〃After saying one or two things about me; which I promise him not
to forget; Armadale took the way to convince her of his constancy
which I felt beforehand he would be driven to take。 He repeated
his proposal of marriage; with excellent effect this time。 Tears
and kisses and protestations followed; and my late pupil opened
her heart at last; in the most innocent manner。 Home; she
confessed; was getting so miserable to her now that it was only
less miserable than going to school。 Her mother's temper was
becoming more violent and unmanageable every day。 The nurse; who
was the only person with any influence over her; had gone away in
disgust。 Her father was becoming more and more immersed in his
clock; and was made more and more resolute to send her away from
home by the distressing scenes which now took place with her
mother almost day by day。 I waited through these domestic
disclosures on the chance of hearing any plans they might have
for the future discussed between them; and my patience; after no
small exercise of it; was rewarded at last。
〃The first suggestion (as was only natural where such a fool as
Armadale was concerned) came from the girl。
〃She started an idea which I own I had not anticipated。 She
proposed that Armadale should write to her father; and; cleverer
still; she prevented all fear of his blundering by telling him
what he was to say。 He was to express himself as deeply
distressed at his estrangement from the major; and to request
permission to call at the cottage; and say a few words in his own
justification。 That was all。 The letter was not to be sent that
day; for the applicants for the vacant place of Mrs。 Milroy's
nurse were coming; and seeing them and questioning them would put
her father; with his dislike of such things; in no humor to
receive Armadale's application indulgently。 The Friday would be
the day to send the letter; and on the Saturday morning if the
answer was unfortunately not favorable; they might meet again; 'I
don't like deceiving my father; he has always been so kind to me。
And there will be no need to deceive him; Allan; if we can only
make you friends again。' Those were the last words the little
hypocrite said; when I left them。
〃What will the major do? Saturday morning will show。 I won't
think of it till Saturday morning has come and gone。 They are not
man and wife yet; and again and again I say it; though my brains
are still as helpless as ever; man and wife they shall never be。
〃On my way home again; I caught Bashwood at his breakfast; with
his poor old black tea…pot; and his little penny loaf; and his
one cheap morsel of oily butter; and his darned dirty tablecloth。
It sickens me to think of it。
〃I coaxed and comforted the miserable old creature till the tears
stood in his eyes; and he quite blushed with pleasure。 He
undertakes to look after the Pedgifts with the utmost alacrity。
Pedgift the elder he described; when once roused; as the most
obstinate man livin g; nothing will induce him to give way;
unless Armadale gives way also on his side。 Pedgift the younger
is much the more likely of the two to make attempts at a
reconciliation。 Such; at least; is Bashwood's opinion。 It is of
very little consequence now what happens either way。 The only
important thing is to tie my elderly admirer safely again to my
apron…string。 And this is done。
〃The post is late this morning。 It has only just come in; and has
brought me a letter from Midwinter。
〃It is a charming letter; it flatters me and flutters me as if I
was a young girl again。 No reproaches for my never having written
to him; no hateful hurrying of me; in plain words; to marry him。
He only writes to tell me a piece of news。 He has obtained;
through his lawyers; a prospect of being employed as occasional
correspondent to a newspaper which is about to be started in
London。 The employment will require him to leave England for the
Continent; which would exactly meet his own wishes for the
future; but he cannot consider the proposal seriously until he
has first ascertained whether it would meet my wishes too。 He
knows no will but mine; and he leaves me to decide; after first
mentioning the time allowed him before his answer must be sent
in。 It is the time; of course (if I agree to his going abroad);
in which I must marry him。 But there is not a word about this in
his letter。 He asks for nothing but a sight of my handwriting to
help him through the interval while we are separated from each
other。
〃That is the letter; not very long; but so prettily expressed。
〃I think I can penetrate the secret of his fancy for going
abroad。 That wild idea of putting the mountains and the seas
between Armadale and himself is still in his mind。 As if either
he or I could escape doing what we are fated to dosupposing we
really are fatedby putting a few hundred or a few thousand
miles between Armadale and ourselves! What strange absurdity and
inconsistency! And yet how I like him for being absurd and
inconsistent; for don't I see plainly that I am at the bottom of
it all? Who leads this clever man astray in spite of himself? Who
makes him too blind to see the contradiction in his own conduct;
which he would see plainly in the conduct of another person? How
interested I do feel in him! How dangerously near I am to
shutting my eyes on the past; and letting myself love him! Was
Eve fonder of Adam than ever; I wonder; after she had coaxed him
into eating the apple? I should have quite doted on him if I had
been in her place。 (Memorandum: To write Midwinter a charming
little letter on my side; with a kiss in it; and as time is
allowed him before he sends in his answer; to ask for time; too;
before I tell hi