第 26 节
作者:
青涩春天 更新:2022-07-12 16:22 字数:9322
〃In a few hours you will have left this place;〃 he proceeded。 〃If
I can help you to leave it with your mind at ease; I will。 There
is more to be said between us than we have said up to this time。
My future relations with Mr。 Armadale are still left undecided;
and the serious question raised by my father's letter is a
question which we have neither of us faced yet。〃
He paused; and looked with a momentary impatience at the candle
still burning on the table; in the morning light。 The struggle to
speak with composure; and to keep his own feelings stoically out
of view; was evidently growing harder and harder to him。
〃It may possibly help your decision;〃 he went on; 〃if I tell you
how I determined to act toward Mr。 Armadalein the matter of the
similarity of our nameswhen I first read this letter; and when
I had composed myself sufficiently to be able to think at all。〃
He stopped; and cast a second impatient look at the lighted
candle。 〃Will you excuse the odd fancy of an odd man?〃 he asked;
with a faint smile。 〃I want to put out the candle: I want to
speak of the new subject; in the new light。〃
He extinguished the candle as he spoke; and let the first
tenderness of the daylight flow uninterruptedly into the room。
〃I must once more ask your patience;〃 he resumed; 〃if I return
for a moment to myself and my circumstances。 I have already told
you that my stepfather made an attempt to discover me some years
after I had turned my back on the Scotch school。 He took that
step out of no anxiety of his own; but simply as the agent of my
father's trustees。 In the exercise of their discretion; they had
sold the estates in Barbadoes (at the time of the emancipation of
the slaves; and the ruin of West Indian property) for what the
estates would fetch。 Having invested the proceeds; they were
bound to set aside a sum for my yearly education。 This
responsibility obliged them to make the attempt to trace mea
fruitless attempt; as you already know。 A little later (as I have
been since informed) I was publicly addressed by an advertisement
in the newspapers; which I never saw。 Later still; when I was
twenty…one; a second advertisement appeared (which I did see)
offering a reward for evidence of my death。 If I was alive; I had
a right to my half share of the proceeds of the estates on coming
of age; if dead; the money reverted to my mother。 I went to the
lawyers; and heard from them what I have just told you。 After
some difficulty in proving my identityand after an interview
with my stepfather; and a message from my mother; which has
hopelessly widened the old breach between usmy claim was
allowed; and my money is now invested for
me in the funds; under the name that is really my own。〃
Mr。 Brock drew eagerly nearer to the table。 He saw the end now to
which the speaker was tending
〃Twice a year;〃 Midwinter pursued; 〃I must sign my own name to
get my own income。 At all other times; and under all other
circumstances; I may hide my identity under any name I please。 As
Ozias Midwinter; Mr。 Armadale first knew me; as Ozias Midwinter
he shall know me to the end of my days。 Whatever may be the
result of this interviewwhether I win your confidence or
whether I lose itof one thing you may feel sure: your pupil
shall never know the horrible secret which I have trusted to your
keeping。 This is no extraordinary resolution; for; as you know
already; it costs me no sacrifice of feeling to keep my assumed
name。 There is nothing in my conduct to praise; it comes
naturally out of the gratitude of a thankful man。 Review the
circumstances for yourself; sir; and set my own horror of
revealing them to Mr。 Armadale out of the question。 If the story
of the names is ever told; there can be no limiting it to the
disclosure of my father's crime; it must go back to the story of
Mrs。 Armadale's marriage。 I have heard her son talk of her; I
know how he loves her memory。 As God is my witness; he shall
never love it less dearly through _me!_〃
Simply as the words were spoken; they touched the deepest
sympathies in the rector's nature: they took his thoughts back to
Mrs。 Armadale's deathbed。 There sat the man against whom she had
ignorantly warned him in her son's interests; and that man; of
his own free…will; had laid on himself the obligation of
respecting her secret for her son's sake! The memory of his own
past efforts to destroy the very friendship out of which this
resolution had sprung rose and reproached Mr。 Brock。 He held out
his hand to Midwinter for the first time。 〃In her name; and in
her son's name;〃 he said; warmly; 〃I thank you。〃
Without replying; Midwinter spread the confession open before him
on the table。
〃I think I have said all that it was my duty to say;〃 he began;
〃before we could approach the consideration of this letter。
Whatever may have appeared strange in my conduct toward you and
toward Mr。 Armadale may be now trusted to explain itself。 You can
easily imagine the natural curiosity and surprise that I must
have felt (ignorant as I then was of the truth) when the sound of
Mr。 Armadale's name first startled me as the echo of my own。 You
will readily understand that I only hesitated to tell him I was
his namesake; because I hesitated to damage my positionin your
estimation; if not in hisby confessing that I had come among
you under an assumed name。 And; after all that you have just
heard of my vagabond life and my low associates; you will hardly
wonder at the obstinate silence I maintained about myself; at a
time when I did not feel the sense of responsibility which my
father's confession has laid on me。 We can return to these small
personal explanations; if you wish it; at another time; they
cannot be suffered to keep us from the greater interests which we
must settle before you leave this place。 We may come now〃 His
voice faltered; and he suddenly turned his face toward the
window; so as to hide it from the rector's view。 〃We may come
now;〃 he repeated; his hand trembling visibly as it held the
page; 〃to the murder on board the timber…ship; and to the warning
that has followed me from my father's grave。〃
Softlyas if he feared they might reach Allan; sleeping in the
neighboring roomhe read the last terrible words which the
Scotchman's pen had written at Wildbad; as they fell from his
father's lips:
〃Avoid the widow of the man I killedif the widow still lives。
Avoid the maid whose wicked hand smoothed the way to the
marriageif the maid is still in her service。 And; more than
all; avoid the man who bears the same name as your own。 Offend
your best benefactor; if that benefactor's influence has
connected you one with the other。 Desert the woman who loves you;
if that woman is a link between you and him。 Hide yourself from
him under an assumed name。 Put the mountains and the seas between
you; be ungrateful; be unforgiving; be all that is most repellent
to your own gentler nature; rather than live under the same roof
and breathe the same air with that man。 Never let the two Allan
Armadales meet in this world; never; never; never!〃
After reading those sentences; he pushed the manuscript from him;
without looking up。 The fatal reserve which he had been in a fair
way of conquering but a few minutes since; possessed itself of
him once more。 Again his eyes wandered; again his voice sank in
tone。 A stranger who had heard his story; and who saw him now;
would have said; 〃His look is lurking; his manner is bad; he is;
every inch of him; his father's son。〃
〃I have a question to ask you;〃 said Mr。 Brock; breaking the
silence between them; on his side。 〃Why have you just read that
passage in your father's letter?〃
〃To force me into telling you the truth;〃 was the answer。 〃You
must know how much there is of my father in me before you trust
me to be Mr。 Armadale's friend。 I got my letter yesterday; in the
morning。 Some inner warning troubled me; and I went down on the
sea…shore by myself before I broke the seal。 Do you believe the
dead can come back to the world they once lived in? I believe my
father came back in that bright morning light; through the glare
of that broad sunshine and the roar of that joyful sea; and
watched me while I read。 When I got to the words that you have
just heard; and when I knew that the very end which he had died
dreading was the end that had really come; I felt the horror that
had crept over him in his last moments creeping over me。 I
struggled against myself; as _he_ would have had me struggle。 I
tried to be all that was most repellent to my own gentler nature;
I tried to think pitilessly of putting the mountains and the seas
between me and the man who bore my name。 Hours passed before I
could prevail on myself to go back and run the risk of meeting
Allan Armadale in this house。 When I did get back; and when he
met me at night on the stairs; I thought I was looking him in the
face as _my_ father looked _his_ father in the face when the
cabin door closed between them。 Draw your own conclusions; sir。
Say; if you like; that the inheritance of my father's heathen
belief in fate is one of the inheritances he has left to me。 I
won't dispute it; I won't deny that all through yesterday _his_