第 3 节
作者:青涩春天      更新:2022-07-12 16:21      字数:9322
  but he can hold nothing in his fingers。 He can still articulate;
  but he may wake speechless to…morrow or next day。 If I give him a
  week more to live; I give him what I honestly believe to be the
  utmost length of his span。 At his own request I told him; as
  carefully and as tenderly as I could; what I have just told you。
  The result was very distressing; the violence of the patient's
  agitation was a violence which I despair of describing to you。 I
  took the liberty of asking him whether his affairs were
  unsettled。 Nothing of the sort。 His will is in the hands of his
  executor in London; and he leaves his wife and child well
  provided for。 My next question succeeded better; it hit the mark:
  'Have you something on your mind to do before you die which is
  not done yet?' He gave a great gasp of relief; which said; as no
  words could have said it; Yes。 'Can I help you?' 'Yes。 I have
  something to write that I _must_ write; can you make me hold a
  pen?'
  〃He might as well have asked me if I could perform a miracle。 I
  could only say No。 'If I dictate the words;' he went on; 'can you
  write what I tell you to write?' Once more I could only say No。 I
  understand a little English; but I can neither speak it nor write
  it。 Mr。 Armadale understands French when it is spoken (as I speak
  it to him) slowly; but he cannot express himself in that
  language; and of German he is totally ignorant。 In this
  difficulty; I said; what any one else in my situation would have
  said: 'Why ask _me?_ there is Mrs。 Armadale at your service in
  the next room。' Before I could get up from my chair to fetch her;
  he stopped menot by words; but by a look of horror which fixed
  me; by main force of astonishment; in my place。 'Surely;' I said;
  'your wife is the fittest person to write for you as you desire?'
  'The last person under heaven!' he answered。 'What!' I said; 'you
  ask me; a foreigner and a stranger; to write words at your
  dictation which you keep a secret from your wife!' Conceive my
  astonishment when he answered me; without a moment's hesitation;
  'Yes!' I sat lost; I sat silent。 'If _you_ can't write English;'
  he said; 'find somebody who can。' I tried to remonstrate。 He
  burst into a dreadful moaning crya dumb entreaty; like the
  entreaty of a dog。 'Hush! hush!' I said; 'I will find somebody。'
  'To…day!' he broke out; 'before my speech fails me; like my
  hand。' 'To…day; in an hour's time。' He shut his eyes; he quieted
  himself instantly。 'While I am waiting for you;' he said; 'let me
  see my little boy。' He had shown no tenderness when he spoke of
  his wife; but I saw the tears on his cheeks when he asked for his
  child。 My profession; sir; has not made me so hard a man as you
  might think; and my doctor's heart was as heavy; when I went out
  to fetch the child; as if I had not been a doctor at all。 I am
  afraid you think this rather weak on my part?〃
  The doctor looked appealingly at Mr。 Neal。 He might as well have
  looked at a rock in the Black Forest。 Mr。 Neal entirely declined
  to be drawn by any doctor in Christendom out of the regions of
  plain fact。
  〃Go on;〃 he said。 〃I presume you have not told me all that you
  have to tell me; yet?〃
  〃Surely you understand my object in coming here; now?〃 returned
  the other
  〃Your object is plain enough; at last。 You invite me to connect
  myself blindfold with a matter which is in the last degree
  suspicious; so far。 I decline giving you any answer until I know
  more than I know now。 Did you think it necessary to inform this
  man's wife of what had passed between you; and to ask her for an
  explanation?〃
  〃Of course I thought it necessary!〃 said the doctor; indignant at
  the reflection on his humanity which the question seemed to
  imply。 〃If ever I saw a woman fond of her husband; and sorry for
  her husband; it is this unhappy Mrs。 Armadale。 As soon as we were
  left alone together; I sat down by her side; and I took her hand
  in mine。 Why not? I am an ugly old man; and I may allow myself
  such liberties as these!〃
  〃Excuse me;〃 said the impenetrable Scotchman。 〃I beg to suggest
  that you are losing the thread of the narrative。〃
  〃Nothing more likely;〃 returned the doctor; recovering his good
  humor。 〃It is in the habit of my nation to be perpetually losing
  the thread; and it is evidently in the habit of yours; sir; to be
  perpetually finding it。 What an example here of the order of the
  universe; and the everlasting fitness of things!〃
  〃Will you oblige me; once for all; by confining yourself to the
  facts;〃 persisted Mr。 Neal; frowning impatiently。 〃May I inquire;
  for my own information; whether Mrs。 Armadale could tell you what
  it is her husband wishes me to write; and why it is that he
  refuses to let her write for him?〃
  〃There is my thread foundand thank you for finding it!〃 said
  the doctor。 〃You shall hear what Mrs。 Armadale had to tell me; in
  Mrs。 Armadale's own words。 'The cause that now shuts me out of
  his confidence;' she said; 'is; I firmly believe; the same cause
  that has always shut me out of his heart。 I am the wife he has
  wedded; but I am not the woman he loves。 I knew when he married
  me that another man had won from him the woman he loved。 I
  thought I could make him forget her。 I hoped when I married him;
  I hoped again when I bore him a son。 Need I tell you the end of
  my hopesyou have seen it for yourself。' (Wait; sir; I entreat
  you! I have not lost the thread again; I am following it inch by
  inch。) 'Is this all you know?' I asked。 'All I knew;' she said;
  'till a short time since。 It was when we were in Switzerland; and
  when his illness was nearly at its worst; that news came to him
  by accident of that other woman who has been the shadow and the
  poison of my lifenews that she (like me) had borne her husband
  a son。 On the instant of his making that discoverya trifling
  discovery; if ever there was one yeta mortal fear seized on
  him: not for me; not for himself; a fear for his own child。 The
  same day (without a word to me) he sent for the doctor。 I was
  mean; wicked; what you pleaseI listened at the door。 I heard
  him say: _I have something to tell my son; when my son grows old
  enough to understand me。 Shall I live to tell it?_ The doctor
  would say nothing certain。 The same night (still without a word
  to me) he locked himself into his room。 What would any woman;
  treated as I was; have done in my place? She would have done as I
  didshe would have list ened again。 I heard him say to himself:
  _I shall not live to tell it: I must; write it before I die。_ I
  heard his pen scrape; scrape; scrape over the paper; I heard him
  groaning and sobbing as he wrote; I implored him for God's sake
  to let me in。 The cruel pen went scrape; scrape; scrape; the
  cruel pen was all the answer he gave me。 I waited at the
  doorhoursI don't know how long。 On a sudden; the pen stopped;
  and I heard no more。 I whispered through the keyhole softly; I
  said I was cold and weary with waiting; I said; Oh; my love; let
  me in! Not even the cruel pen answered me now: silence answered
  me。 With all the strength of my miserable hands I beat at the
  door。 The servants came up and broke it in。 We were too late; the
  harm was done。 Over that fatal letter; the stroke had struck
  himover that fatal letter; we found him paralyzed as you see
  him now。 Those words which he wants you to write are the words he
  would have written himself if the stroke had spared him till the
  morning From that time to this there has been a blank place left
  in the letter; and it is that blank place which he has just asked
  you to fill up。'In those words Mrs。 Armadale spoke to me; in
  those words you have the sum and substance of all the information
  I can give。 Say; if you please; sir; have I kept the thread at
  last? Have I shown you the necessity which brings me here from
  your countryman's death…bed?〃
  〃Thus far;〃 said Mr。 Neal; 〃you merely show me that you are
  exciting yourself。 This is too serious a matter to be treated as
  you are treating it now。 You have involved Me in the business;
  and I insist on seeing my way plainly。 Don't raise your hands;
  your hands are not a part of the question。 If I am to be
  concerned in the completion of this mysterious letter; it is only
  an act of justifiable prudence on my part to inquire what the
  letter is about。 Mrs。 Armadale appears to have favored you with
  an infinite number of domestic particularsin return; I presume;
  for your polite attention in taking her by the hand。 May I ask
  what she could tell you about her husband's letter; so far as her
  husband has written it?〃
  〃Mrs。 Armadale could tell me nothing;〃 replied the doctor; with a
  sudden formality in his manner; which showed that his forbearance
  was at last failing him。 〃Before she was composed enough to think
  of the letter; her husband had asked for it; and had caused it to
  be locked up in his desk。 She knows that he has since; time after
  time; tried to finish it; and that; time after time; the pen has
  dropped from his fingers。 She knows; when all other hope of his
  restoration was at an end; that his medical advisers encouraged
  him to hope in the famous waters of this place。 And last; she
  knows how that hope has ended; for she knows what I told her
  husband this morning。〃
  The frown which h