The　Bedford…Row　Conspiracy
  by　William　Makepeace　Thackeray
  Contents。
  I。　　　Of　the　loves　of　Mr。　Perkins　and　Miss　Gorgon；　and　of　the　two
  great　factions　in　the　town　of　Oldborough。
  II。　　Shows　how　the　plot　began　to　thicken　in　or　about　Bedford　Row。
  III。　Behind　the　scenes。
  Footnote：
  A　story　of　Charles　de　Bernard　furnished　the　plot　of
  〃The　Bedford…Row　Conspiracy。〃
  THE　BEDFORD…ROW　CONSPIRACY
  CHAPTER　I。
  OF　THE　LOVES　OF　MR。　PERKINS　AND　MISS　GORGON；　AND　OF　THE　　TWO　GREAT　FACTIONS　IN　THE　TOWN　OF　OLDBOROUGH。　〃My　dear　John；〃　cried　Lucy；　with　a　very　wise　look　indeed；　〃it　must　and　shall　be　so。　　As　for　Doughty　Street；　with　our　means；　a　house　is　out　of　the　question。　　We　must　keep　three　servants；　and　Aunt　Biggs　says　the　taxes　are　one…and…twenty　pounds　a　year。〃　〃I　have　seen　a　sweet　place　at　Chelsea；〃　remarked　John：　　〃Paradise　Row；　No。　17；gardengreenhousefifty　pounds　a　yearomnibus　to　town　within　a　mile。〃　〃What！　that　I　may　be　left　alone　all　day；　and　you　spend　a　fortune　in　driving　backward　and　forward　in　those　horrid　breakneck　cabs？　　My　darling；　I　should　die　theredie　of　fright；　I　know　I　should。　　Did　you　not　say　yourself　that　the　road　was　not　as　yet　lighted；　and　that　the　place　swarmed　with　public…houses　and　dreadful　tipsy　Irish　bricklayers？　　Would　you　kill　me；　John？〃　〃My　da…arling；〃　said　John；　with　tremendous　fondness；　clutching　Miss　Lucy　suddenly　round　the　waist；　and　rapping　the　hand　of　that　young　person　violently　against　his　waistcoat；〃My　da…arling；　don't　say　such　things；　even　in　a　joke。　　If　I　objected　to　the　chambers；　it　is　only　because　you；　my　love；　with　your　birth　and　connections；　ought　to　have　a　house　of　your　own。　　The　chambers　are　quite　large　enough　and　certainly　quite　good　enough　for　me。〃　　And　so；　after　some　more　sweet　parley　on　the　part　of　these　young　people；　it　was　agreed　that　they　should　take　up　their　abode；　when　married；　in　a　part　of　the　House　number　One　hundred　and　something；　Bedford　Row。　It　will　be　necessary　to　explain　to　the　reader　that　John　was　no　other　than　John　Perkins；　Esquire；　of　the　Middle　Temple；　barrister…at…law；　and　that　Miss　Lucy　was　the　daughter　of　the　late　Captain　Gorgon；　and　Marianne　Biggs；　his　wife。　　The　Captain　being　of　noble　connections；　younger　son　of　a　baronet；　cousin　to　Lord　X；　and　related　to　the　Y　family；　had　angered　all　his　relatives　by　marrying　a　very　silly　pretty　young　woman；　who　kept　a　ladies'…school　at　Canterbury。　　She　had　six　hundred　pounds　to　her　fortune；　which　the　Captain　laid　out　in　the　purchase　of　a　sweet　travelling…carriage　and　dressing…case　for　himself；　and　going　abroad　with　his　lady；　spent　several　years　in　the　principal　prisons　of　Europe；　in　one　of　which　he　died。　　His　wife　and　daughter　were　meantime　supported　by　the　contributions　of　Mrs。　Jemima　Biggs；　who　still　kept　the　ladies'…school。　At　last　a　dear　old　relativesuch　a　one　as　one　reads　of　in　romancesdied　and　left　seven　thousand　pounds　apiece　to　the　two　sisters；　whereupon　the　elder　gave　up　schooling　and　retired　to　London；　and　the　younger　managed　to　live　with　some　comfort　and　decency　at　Brussels；　upon　two　hundred　and　ten　pounds　per　annum。　Mrs。　Gorgon　never　touched　a　shilling　of　her　capital；　for　the　very　good　reason　that　it　was　placed　entirely　out　of　her　reach；　so　that　when　she　died；　her　daughter　found　herself　in　possession　of　a　sum　of　money　that　is　not　always　to　be　met　with　in　this　world。　Her　aunt　the　baronet's　lady；　and　her　aunt　the　ex…schoolmistress；　both　wrote　very　pressing　invitations　to　her；　and　she　resided　with　each　for　six　months　after　her　arrival　in　England。　　Now；　for　a　second　time；　she　had　come　to　Mrs。　Biggs；　Caroline　Place；　Mecklenburgh　Square。　　It　was　under　the　roof　of　that　respectable　old　lady　that　John　Perkins；　Esquire；　being　invited　to　take　tea；　wooed　and　won　Miss　Gorgon。　Having　thus　described　the　circumstances　of　Miss　Gorgon's　life；　let　us　pass　for　a　moment　from　that　young　lady；　and　lift　up　the　veil　of　mystery　which　envelopes　the　deeds　and　character　of　Perkins。　Perkins；　too；　was　an　orphan；　and　he　and　his　Lucy；　of　summer　evenings；　when　Sol　descending　lingered　fondly　yet　about　the　minarets　of　the　Foundling；　and　gilded　the　grassplots　of　Mecklenburgh　SquarePerkins；　I　say；　and　Lucy　would　often　sit　together　in　the　summer…house　of　that　pleasure…ground；　and　muse　upon　the　strange　coincidences　of　their　life。　　Lucy　was　motherless　and　fatherless；　so　too　was　Perkins。　　If　Perkins　was　brotherless　and　sisterless；　was　not　Lucy　likewise　an　only　child？　　Perkins　was　twenty…three：　　his　age　and　Lucy's　united；　amounted　to　forty…six；　and　it　was　to　be　remarked；　as　a　fact　still　more　extraordinary；　that　while　Lucy's　relatives　were　AUNTS；　John's　were　UNCLES。　　Mysterious　spirit　of　love！　let　us　treat　thee　with　respect　and　whisper　not　too　many　of　thy　secrets。　　The　fact　is；　John　and　Lucy　were　a　pair　of　fools　（as　every　young　couple　OUGHT　to　be　who　have　hearts　that　are　worth　a　farthing）；　and　were　ready　to　find　coincidences；　sympathies；　hidden　gushes　of　feeling；　mystic　unions　of　the　soul；　and　what　not；　in　every　single　circumstance　that　occurred　from　the　rising　of　the　sun　to　the　going　down　thereof；　and　in　the　intervals。　　Bedford　Row；　where　Perkins　lived；　is　not　very　far　from　Mecklenburgh　Square；　and　John　used　to　say　that　he　felt　a　comfort　that　his　house　and　Lucy's　were　served　by　the　same　muffin…man。　Further　comment　is　needless。　　A　more　honest；　simple；　clever；　warm…hearted；　soft；　whimsical；　romantical；　high…spirited　young　fellow　than　John　Perkins　did　not　exist。　　When　his　father；　Doctor　Perkins；　died；　this；　his　only　son；　was　placed　under　the　care　of　John　Perkins；　Esquire；　of　the　house　of　Perkins；　Scully；　and　Perkins；　those　celebrated　attorneys　in　the　trading　town　of　Oldborough；　which　the　second　partner；　William　Pitt　Scully；　Esquire；　represented　in　Parliament　and　in　London。　All　John's　fortune　was　the　house　in　Bedford　Row；　which；　at　his　father's　death；　was　let　out　into　chambers；　and　brought　in　a　clear　hundred　a　year。　　Under　his　uncle's　roof　at　Oldborough；　where　he　lived　with　thirteen　red…haired　male　and　female　cousins；　he　was　only　charged　fifty　pounds　for　board；　clothes；　and　pocket…money；　and　the　remainder　of　his　rents　was　carefully　put　by　for　him　until　his　majority。　　When　he　approached　that　periodwhen　he　came　to　belong　to　two　spouting…clubs　at　Oldborough；　among　the　young　merchants　and　lawyers'…clerksto　blow　the　flute　nicely；　and　play　a　good　game　at　billiardsto　have　written　one　or　two　smart　things　in　the　Oldborough　Sentinelto　be　fond　of　smoking　（in　which　act　he　was　discovered　by　his　fainting　aunt　at　three　o'clock　one　morning）in　one　word；　when　John　Perkins　arrived　at　manhood；　he　discovered　that　he　was　quite　unfit　to　be　an　attorney；　that　he　detested　all　the　ways　of　his　uncle's　stern；　dull；　vulgar；　regular；　red…headed　family；　and　he　vowed　that　he　would　go　to　London　and　make　his　fortune。　　Thither　he　went；　his　aunt　and　cousins；　who　were　all　〃serious；〃　vowing　that　he　was　a　lost　boy；　and　when　his　history　opens；　John　had　been　two　years　in　the　metropolis；　inhabiting　his　own　garrets；　and　a　very　nice　compact　set　of　apartments；　looking　into　the　back…garden；　at　this　moment　falling　vacant；　the　prudent　Lucy　Gorgon　had　visited　them；　and　vowed　that　she　and　her　John　should　there　commence　housekeeping。　All　these　explanations　are　tedious；　but　necessary；　and　furthermore；　it　must　be　said；　that　as　John's　uncle's　partner　was　the　Liberal　member　for　Oldborough；　so　Lucy's　uncle　was　its　Ministerial　representative。　This　gentleman；　the　brother　of　the　deceased　Captain　Gorgon；　lived　at　the　paternal　mansion　of　Gorgon　Castle；　and　rejoiced　in　the　name　and　title　of　Sir　George　Grimsby　Gorgon。　He；　too；　like　his　younger　brother；　had　married　a　lady　beneath　his　own　rank　in　life；　having　espoused　the　daughter　and　heiress　of　Mr。　Hicks；　the　great　brewer　at　Oldborough；　who　held　numerous　mortgages　on　the　Gorgon　property；　all　of　which　he　yielded　up；　together　with　his　daughter　Juliana；　to　the　care　of　the　baronet。　What　Lady　Gorgon　was　in　character；　this　history　will　show。　　In　person；　if　she　may　be　compared　to　any　vulgar　animal；　one　of　her　father's　heavy；　healthy；　broad…flanked；　Roman…nosed　white　dray…horses　might；　to　the　poetic　mind；　appear　to　resemble　her。　　At　twenty　she　was　a　splendid　creature；　and　though　not　at　her　full　growth；　yet　remarkable　for　strength　and　sinew；　at　forty…five　she　was　as　fine　a　woman　as　any　in　His　Majesty's　dominions。　　Five　feet　seven　in　height；　thirteen　stone；　her　own　teeth　and　hair；　she　looked　as　if　she　were　the　mother　of　a　regiment　of　Grenadier　Guards。　　She　had　three　daughters　of　her　own　size；　and　at　length；　ten　years　after　the　birth　of　the　last　of　the　young　ladies；　a　sonone　sonGeorge　Augustus　Frederick　Grimsby　Gorgon；　the　godson　of　a　royal　duke；　whose　steady　officer　in　waiting　Sir　George　had　been　for　many　years。　It　is　needless　to　say；　after　entering　so　largely　into　a　description　of　Lady　Gorgon；　that　her　husband　was　a　little　shrivelled　wizen…faced　creature；　eight　inches　shorter　than　her　Ladyship。　　This　is　the　way　of　the　world；　as　every　single　reader　of　this　book　must　have　remarked；　for　frolic　love　delights　to　join　giants　and　pigmies　of　different　sexes　in　the　bonds　of　matrimony。　　When　you　saw　her　Ladyship　in　flame…coloured　satin　and　gorgeous　toque　and　feathers；　entering　the　drawing…room；　as　footmen　along　the　stairs　shouted　melodiously；　〃Sir　George　and　Lady　Gorgon；〃　you　beheld　in　her　compan