ath。
  There　is　a　time　in　the　life　of　every　boy　when　he　for　the　first　time　takes　the　backward　view　of　life。　Perhaps　that　is　the　moment　when　he　crosses　the　line　into　manhood。　　The　boy　is　walking　through　the　street　of　his　town。　　He　is　thinking　of　the　future　and　of　the　figure　he　will　cut　in　the　world。　　Ambitions　and　re…　grets　awake　within　him。　　Suddenly　something　hap…　pens；　he　stops　under　a　tree　and　waits　as　for　a　voice　calling　his　name。　　Ghosts　of　old　things　creep　into　his　consciousness；　the　voices　outside　of　himself　whisper　a　message　concerning　the　limitations　of　life。　　From　being　quite　sure　of　himself　and　his　future　he　be…　comes　not　at　all　sure。　　If　he　be　an　imaginative　boy　a　door　is　tom　open　and　for　the　first　time　he　looks　out　upon　the　world；　seeing；　as　though　they　marched　in　procession　before　him；　the　countless　figures　of　men　who　before　his　time　have　come　out　of　nothingness　into　the　world；　lived　their　lives　and　again　disap…　peared　into　nothingness。　　The　sadness　of　sophistica…　tion　has　come　to　the　boy。　　With　a　little　gasp　he　sees　himself　as　merely　a　leaf　blown　by　the　wind　through　the　streets　of　his　village。　　He　knows　that　in　spite　of　all　the　stout　talk　of　his　fellows　he　must　live　and　die　in　uncertainty；　a　thing　blown　by　the　winds；　a　thing　destined　like　corn　to　wilt　in　the　sun。　　He　shivers　and　looks　eagerly　about。　　The　eighteen　years　he　has　lived　seem　but　a　moment；　a　breathing　space　in　the　long　march　of　humanity。　　Already　he　hears　death　calling。　With　all　his　heart　he　wants　to　come　close　to　some　other　human；　touch　someone　with　his　hands；　be　touched　by　the　hand　of　another。　　If　he　prefers　that　the　other　be　a　woman；　that　is　because　he　believes　that　a　woman　will　be　gentle；　that　she　will　under…　stand。　　He　wants；　most　of　all；　understanding。
  When　the　moment　of　sophistication　came　to　George　Willard　his　mind　turned　to　Helen　White；　the　Wines…　burg　banker's　daughter。　　Always　he　had　been　con…　scious　of　the　girl　growing　into　womanhood　as　he　grew　into　manhood。　　Once　on　a　summer　night　when　he　was　eighteen；　he　had　walked　with　her　on　a　coun…　try　road　and　in　her　presence　had　given　way　to　an　impulse　to　boast；　to　make　himself　appear　big　and　significant　in　her　eyes。　　Now　he　wanted　to　see　her　for　another　purpose。　　He　wanted　to　tell　her　of　the　new　impulses　that　had　come　to　him。　　He　had　tried　to　make　her　think　of　him　as　a　man　when　he　knew　nothing　of　manhood　and　now　he　wanted　to　be　with　her　and　to　try　to　make　her　feel　the　change　he　be…　lieved　had　taken　place　in　his　nature。
  As　for　Helen　White；　she　also　had　come　to　a　period　of　change。　　What　George　felt；　she　in　her　young　wom…　an's　way　felt　also。　　She　was　no　longer　a　girl　and　hungered　to　reach　into　the　grace　and　beauty　of　womanhood。　　She　had　come　home　from　Cleveland；　where　she　was　attending　college；　to　spend　a　day　at　the　Fair。　　She　also　had　begun　to　have　memories。　　Dur…　ing　the　day　she　sat　in　the　grand…stand　with　a　young　man；　one　of　the　instructors　from　the　college；　who　was　a　guest　of　her　mother's。　　The　young　man　was　of　a　pedantic　turn　of　mind　and　she　felt　at　once　he　would　not　do　for　her　purpose。　　At　the　Fair　she　was　glad　to　be　seen　in　his　company　as　he　was　well　dressed　and　a　stranger。　　She　knew　that　the　fact　of　his　presence　would　create　an　impression。　　During　the　day　she　was　happy；　but　when　night　came　on　she　began　to　grow　restless。　　She　wanted　to　drive　the　in…　structor　away；　to　get　out　of　his　presence。　　While　they　sat　together　in　the　grand…stand　and　while　the　eyes　of　former　schoolmates　were　upon　them；　she　paid　so　much　attention　to　her　escort　that　he　grew　interested。　〃A　scholar　needs　money。　　I　should　marry　a　woman　with　money；〃　he　mused。
  Helen　White　was　thinking　of　George　Willard　even　as　he　wandered　gloomily　through　the　crowds　think…　ing　of　her。　　She　remembered　the　summer　evening　when　they　had　walked　together　and　wanted　to　walk　with　him　again。　　She　thought　that　the　months　she　had　spent　in　the　city；　the　going　to　theaters　and　the　seeing　of　great　crowds　wandering　in　lighted　thor…　oughfares；　had　changed　her　profoundly。　　She　wanted　him　to　feel　and　be　conscious　of　the　change　in　her　nature。
  The　summer　evening　together　that　had　left　its　mark　on　the　memory　of　both　the　young　man　and　woman　had；　when　looked　at　quite　sensibly；　been　rather　stupidly　spent。　　They　had　walked　out　of　town　along　a　country　road。　　Then　they　had　stopped　by　a　fence　near　a　field　of　young　corn　and　George　had　taken　off　his　coat　and　let　it　hang　on　his　arm。　　〃Well；　I've　stayed　here　in　WinesburgyesI've　not　yet　gone　away　but　I'm　growing　up；〃　he　had　said。　　〃I've　been　reading　books　and　I've　been　thinking。　　I'm　going　to　try　to　amount　to　something　in　life。
  〃Well；〃　he　explained；　〃that　isn't　the　point。　　Per…　haps　I'd　better　quit　talking。〃
  The　confused　boy　put　his　hand　on　the　girl's　arm。　His　voice　trembled。　　The　two　started　to　walk　back　along　the　road　toward　town。　　In　his　desperation　George　boasted；　〃I'm　going　to　be　a　big　man；　the　biggest　that　ever　lived　here　in　Winesburg；〃　he　de…　clared。　　〃I　want　you　to　do　something；　I　don't　know　what。　　Perhaps　it　is　none　of　my　business。　　I　want　you　to　try　to　be　different　from　other　women。　　You　see　the　point。　　It's　none　of　my　business　I　tell　you。　　I　want　you　to　be　a　beautiful　woman。　　You　see　what　I　want。〃
  The　boy's　voice　failed　and　in　silence　the　two　came　back　into　town　and　went　along　the　street　to　Helen　White's　house。　　At　the　gate　he　tried　to　say　something　impressive。　　Speeches　he　had　thought　out　came　into　his　head；　but　they　seemed　utterly　pointless。　　〃I　thoughtI　used　to　thinkI　had　it　in　my　mind　you　would　marry　Seth　Richmond。　　Now　I　know　you　won't；〃　was　all　he　could　find　to　say　as　she　went　through　the　gate　and　toward　the　door　of　her　house。
  On　the　warm　fall　evening　as　he　stood　in　the　stair…　way　and　looked　at　the　crowd　drifting　through　Main　Street；　George　thought　of　the　talk　beside　the　field　of　young　corn　and　was　ashamed　of　the　figure　he　had　made　of　himself。　　In　the　street　the　people　surged　up　and　down　like　cattle　confined　in　a　pen。　　Buggies　and　wagons　almost　filled　the　narrow　thoroughfare。　　A　band　played　and　small　boys　raced　along　the　side…　walk；　diving　between　the　legs　of　men。　　Young　men　with　shining　red　faces　walked　awkwardly　about　with　girls　on　their　arms。　　In　a　room　above　one　of　the　stores；　where　a　dance　was　to　be　held；　the　fiddlers　tuned　their　instruments。　　The　broken　sounds　floated　down　through　an　open　window　and　out　across　the　murmur　of　voices　and　the　loud　blare　of　the　horns　of　the　band。　　The　medley　of　sounds　got　on　young　Willard's　nerves。　　Everywhere；　on　all　sides；　the　sense　of　crowding；　moving　life　closed　in　about　him。　　He　wanted　to　run　away　by　himself　and　think。　　〃If　she　wants　to　stay　with　that　fellow　she　may。　　Why　should　I　care？　What　difference　does　it　make　to　me？〃　he　growled　and　went　along　Main　Street　and　through　Hern's　Grocery　into　a　side　street。
  George　felt　so　utterly　lonely　and　dejected　that　he　wanted　to　weep　but　pride　made　him　walk　rapidly　along；　swinging　his　arms。　　He　came　to　Wesley　Moy…　er's　livery　barn　and　stopped　in　the　shadows　to　listen　to　a　group　of　men　who　talked　of　a　race　Wesley's　stallion；　Tony　Tip；　had　won　at　the　Fair　during　the　afternoon。　　A　crowd　had　gathered　in　front　of　the　barn　and　before　the　crowd　walked　Wesley；　prancing　up　and　down　boasting。　　He　held　a　whip　in　his　hand　and　kept　tapping　the　ground。　　Little　puffs　of　dust　arose　in　the　lamplight。　　〃Hell；　quit　your　talking；〃　Wesley　exclaimed。　　〃I　wasn't　afraid；　I　knew　I　had　'em　beat　all　the　time。　　I　wasn't　afraid。〃
  Ordinarily　George　Willard　would　have　been　in…　tensely　interested　in　the　boasting　of　Moyer；　the　horseman。　　Now　it　made　him　angry。　　He　turned　and　hurried　away　along　the　street。　　〃Old　windbag；〃　he　sputtered。　　〃Why　does　he　want　to　be　bragging？　Why　don't　he　shut　up？〃
  George　went　into　a　vacant　lot　and；　as　he　hurried　along；　fell　over　a　pile　of　rubbish。　　A　nail　protruding　from　an　empty　barrel　tore　his　trousers。　　He　sat　down　on　the　ground　and　swore。　　With　a　pin　he　mended　the　torn　place　and　then　arose　and　went　on。　　〃I'll　go　to　Helen　White's　house；　that's　what　I'll　do。　　I'll　walk　right　in。　　I'll　say　that　I　want　to　see　her。　　I'll　walk　right　in　and　sit　down；　that's　what　I'll　do；〃　he　declared；　climbing　over　a　fence　and　beginning　to　run。
  On　the　veranda　of　Banker　White's　house　Helen　was　restless　and　distraught。　　The　instructor　sat　be…　tween　the　mother　and　daughter。　　His　talk　wearied　the　girl。　　Although　he　had　also　been　raised　in　an　Ohio　town；　the　instructor　began　to　put　on　the　airs　of　the　city。　　He　wanted　to　appear　cosmopolitan。　　〃I　like　the　chance　you　have　given　me　to　study　the　back…　ground　out　of　which　most　of　our　girls　come；〃　he　declared。　　〃It　was　good　of　you；　Mrs。　White；　to　have　me　down　for　the　day。〃　He　turned　to　Helen　and　laughed。　　〃Your　life　is　still　bound　up　with　the　life　of　this　town？〃　he　asked。　　〃There　are　people　here　in　whom　you　are　interested？〃　To　the　girl　his　voice　sounded　pompous　and　heavy。
  Helen　arose　and　went　into　the　house。　　At　the　door　leading　to　a　garden　at　the　back　she　stopped　and　stood　listening。　　Her　mother　began　to　talk。　　〃There　is　no　one　here　fit　to　associate　with　a　girl　of　Helen's　breeding；〃　she　said。
  Helen　ran　down　a　flight　of　stairs　at　the　back　of　the　house　and　into　the　garden。　　In　the　darkness　she　stopped　and　stood　trembling。　　It　seemed　to　her　that　the　world　was　full　of　meaningless　people　saying