第 24 节
作者:
负债赌博 更新:2022-07-12 16:19 字数:9322
。 He was forty years old; and by his nature very silent and reticent。 To preach; standing in the pulpit before the people; was always a hardship for him and from Wednesday morning until Saturday evening he thought of nothing but the two sermons that must be preached on Sunday。 Early on Sunday morning he went into a little room called a study in the bell tower of the church and prayed。 In his prayers there was one note that al… ways predominated。 〃Give me strength and courage for Thy work; O Lord!〃 he pleaded; kneeling on the bare floor and bowing his head in the presence of the task that lay before him。
The Reverend Hartman was a tall man with a brown beard。 His wife; a stout; nervous woman; was the daughter of a manufacturer of underwear at Cleveland; Ohio。 The minister himself was rather a favorite in the town。 The elders of the church liked him because he was quiet and unpretentious and Mrs。 White; the banker's wife; thought him schol… arly and refined。
The Presbyterian Church held itself somewhat aloof from the other churches of Winesburg。 It was larger and more imposing and its minister was better paid。 He even had a carriage of his own and on summer evenings sometimes drove about town with his wife。 Through Main Street and up and down Buckeye Street he went; bowing gravely to the peo… ple; while his wife; afire with secret pride; looked at him out of the corners of her eyes and worried lest the horse become frightened and run away。
For a good many years after he came to Wines… burg things went well with Curtis Hartman。 He was not one to arouse keen enthusiasm among the wor… shippers in his church but on the other hand he made no enemies。 In reality he was much in earnest and sometimes suffered prolonged periods of re… morse because he could not go crying the word of God in the highways and byways of the town。 He wondered if the flame of the spirit really burned in him and dreamed of a day when a strong sweet new current of power would come like a great wind into his voice and his soul and the people would tremble before the spirit of God made manifest in him。 〃I am a poor stick and that will never really happen to me;〃 he mused dejectedly; and then a patient smile lit up his features。 〃Oh well; I suppose I'm doing well enough;〃 he added philosophically。
The room in the bell tower of the church; where on Sunday mornings the minister prayed for an in… crease in him of the power of God; had but one window。 It was long and narrow and swung out… ward on a hinge like a door。 On the window; made of little leaded panes; was a design showing the Christ laying his hand upon the head of a child。 One Sunday morning in the summer as he sat by his desk in the room with a large Bible opened be… fore him; and the sheets of his sermon scattered about; the minister was shocked to see; in the upper room of the house next door; a woman lying in her bed and smoking a cigarette while she read a book。 Curtis Hartman went on tiptoe to the window and closed it softly。 He was horror stricken at the thought of a woman smoking and trembled also to think that his eyes; just raised from the pages of the book of God; had looked upon the bare shoulders and white throat of a woman。 With his brain in a whirl he went down into the pulpit and preached a long sermon without once thinking of his gestures or his voice。 The sermon attracted unusual attention because of its power and clearness。 〃I wonder if she is listening; if my voice is carrying a message into her soul;〃 he thought and began to hope that on future Sunday mornings he might be able to say words that would touch and awaken the woman apparently far gone in secret sin。
The house next door to the Presbyterian Church; through the windows of which the minister had seen the sight that had so upset him; was occupied by two women。 Aunt Elizabeth Swift; a grey competent… looking widow with money in the Winesburg Na… tional Bank; lived there with her daughter Kate Swift; a school teacher。 The school teacher was thirty years old and had a neat trim…looking figure。 She had few friends and bore a reputation of having a sharp tongue。 When he began to think about her; Curtis Hartman remembered that she had been to Europe and had lived for two years in New York City。 〃Perhaps after all her smoking means noth… ing;〃 he thought。 He began to remember that when he was a student in college and occasionally read novels; good although somewhat worldly women; had smoked through the pages of a book that had once fallen into his hands。 With a rush of new deter… mination he worked on his sermons all through the week and forgot; in his zeal to reach the ears and the soul of this new listener; both his embarrassment in the pulpit and the necessity of prayer in the study on Sunday mornings。
Reverend Hartman's experience with women had been somewhat limited。 He was the son of a wagon maker from Muncie; Indiana; and had worked his way through college。 The daughter of the under… wear manufacturer had boarded in a house where he lived during his school days and he had married her after a formal and prolonged courtship; carried on for the most part by the girl herself。 On his mar… riage day the underwear manufacturer had given his daughter five thousand dollars and he promised to leave her at least twice that amount in his will。 The minister had thought himself fortunate in marriage and had never permitted himself to think of other women。 He did not want to think of other women。 What he wanted was to do the work of God quietly and earnestly。
In the soul of the minister a struggle awoke。 From wanting to reach the ears of Kate Swift; and through his sermons to delve into her soul; he began to want also to look again at the figure lying white and quiet in the bed。 On a Sunday morning when he could not sleep because of his thoughts he arose and went to walk in the streets。 When he had gone along Main Street almost to the old Richmond place he stopped and picking up a stone rushed off to the room in the bell tower。 With the stone he broke out a corner of the window and then locked the door and sat down at the desk before the open Bible to wait。 When the shade of the window to Kate Swift's room was raised he could see; through the hole; directly into her bed; but she was not there。 She also had arisen and had gone for a walk and the hand that raised the shade was the hand of Aunt Elizabeth Swift。
The minister almost wept with joy at this deliver… ance from the carnal desire to 〃peep〃 and went back to his own house praising God。 In an ill moment he forgot; however; to stop the hole in the window。 The piece of glass broken out at the corner of the window just nipped off the bare heel of the boy standing motionless and looking with rapt eyes into the face of the Christ。
Curtis Hartman forgot his sermon on that Sunday morning。 He talked to his congregation and in his talk said that it was a mistake for people to think of their minister as a man set aside and intended by nature to lead a blameless life。 〃Out of my own experience I know that we; who are the ministers of God's word; are beset by the same temptations that assail you;〃 he declared。 〃I have been tempted and have surrendered to temptation。 It is only the hand of God; placed beneath my head; that has raised me up。 As he has raised me so also will he raise you。 Do not despair。 In your hour of sin raise your eyes to the skies and you will be again and again saved。〃
Resolutely the minister put the thoughts of the woman in the bed out of his mind and began to be something like a lover in the presence of his wife。 One evening when they drove out together he turned the horse out of Buckeye Street and in the darkness on Gospel Hill; above Waterworks Pond; put his arm about Sarah Hartman's waist。 When he had eaten breakfast in the morning and was ready to retire to his study at the back of his house he went around the table and kissed his wife on the cheek。 When thoughts of Kate Swift came into his head; he smiled and raised his eyes to the skies。 〃Intercede for me; Master;〃 he muttered; 〃keep me in the narrow path intent on Thy work。〃
And now began the real struggle in the soul of the brown…bearded minister。 By chance he discov… ered that Kate Swift was in the habit of lying in her bed in the evenings and reading a book。 A lamp stood on a table by the side of the bed and the light streamed down upon her white shoulders and bare throat。 On the evening when he made the discovery the minister sat at the desk in the dusty room from nine until after eleven and when her light was put out stumbled out of the church to spend two more hours walking and praying in the streets。 He did not want to kiss the shoulders and the throat of Kate Swift and had not allowed his mind to dwell on such thoughts。 He did not know what he wanted。 〃I am God's child and he must save me from my… self;〃 he cried; in the darkness under the trees as he wandered in the streets。 By a tree he stood and looked at the sky that was covered with hurrying clouds。 He began to talk to God intimately and closely。 〃Please; Father; do not forget me。 Give me power to go tomorrow and repair the hole in the window。 Lift my eyes again to the skies。 Stay with m