第 13 节
作者:
负债赌博 更新:2022-07-12 16:19 字数:9321
onely she worked constantly at her studies。 To Mary and Harriet; it seemed as though she tried to make trouble for them by her proficiency。 In her eagerness to appear well Louise wanted to answer every question put to the class by the teacher。 She jumped up and down and her eyes flashed。 Then when she had answered some ques… tion the others in the class had been unable to an… swer; she smiled happily。 〃See; I have done it for you;〃 her eyes seemed to say。 〃You need not bother about the matter。 I will answer all questions。 For the whole class it will be easy while I am here。〃
In the evening after supper in the Hardy house; Albert Hardy began to praise Louise。 One of the teachers had spoken highly of her and he was de… lighted。 〃Well; again I have heard of it;〃 he began; looking hard at his daughters and then turning to smile at Louise。 〃Another of the teachers has told me of the good work Louise is doing。 Everyone in Winesburg is telling me how smart she is。 I am ashamed that they do not speak so of my own girls。〃 Arising; the merchant marched about the room and lighted his evening cigar。
The two girls looked at each other and shook their heads wearily。 Seeing their indifference the father became angry。 〃I tell you it is something for you two to be thinking about;〃 he cried; glaring at them。 〃There is a big change coming here in America and in learning is the only hope of the coming genera… tions。 Louise is the daughter of a rich man but she is not ashamed to study。 It should make you ashamed to see what she does。〃
The merchant took his hat from a rack by the door and prepared to depart for the evening。 At the door he stopped and glared back。 So fierce was his man… ner that Louise was frightened and ran upstairs to her own room。 The daughters began to speak of their own affairs。 〃Pay attention to me;〃 roared the merchant。 〃Your minds are lazy。 Your indifference to education is affecting your characters。 You will amount to nothing。 Now mark what I sayLouise will be so far ahead of you that you will never catch up。〃
The distracted man went out of the house and into the street shaking with wrath。 He went along muttering words and swearing; but when he got into Main Street his anger passed。 He stopped to talk of the weather or the crops with some other merchant or with a farmer who had come into town and forgot his daughters altogether or; if he thought of them; only shrugged his shoulders。 〃Oh; well; girls will be girls;〃 he muttered philosophically。
In the house when Louise came down into the room where the two girls sat; they would have noth… ing to do with her。 One evening after she had been there for more than six weeks and was heartbroken because of the continued air of coldness with which she was always greeted; she burst into tears。 〃Shut up your crying and go back to your own room and to your books;〃 Mary Hardy said sharply。
* * *
The room occupied by Louise was on the second floor of the Hardy house; and her window looked out upon an orchard。 There was a stove in the room and every evening young John Hardy carried up an armful of wood and put it in a box that stood by the wall。 During the second month after she came to the house; Louise gave up all hope of getting on a friendly footing with the Hardy girls and went to her own room as soon as the evening meal was at an end。
Her mind began to play with thoughts of making friends with John Hardy。 When he came into the room with the wood in his arms; she pretended to be busy with her studies but watched him eagerly。 When he had put the wood in the box and turned to go out; she put down her head and blushed。 She tried to make talk but could say nothing; and after he had gone she was angry at herself for her stupidity。
The mind of the country girl became filled with the idea of drawing close to the young man。 She thought that in him might be found the quality she had all her life been seeking in people。 It seemed to her that between herself and all the other people in the world; a wall had been built up and that she was living just on the edge of some warm inner circle of life that must be quite open and under… standable to others。 She became obsessed with the thought that it wanted but a courageous act on her part to make all of her association with people some… thing quite different; and that it was possible by such an act to pass into a new life as one opens a door and goes into a room。 Day and night she thought of the matter; but although the thing she wanted so earnestly was something very warm and close it had as yet no conscious connection with sex。 It had not become that definite; and her mind had only alighted upon the person of John Hardy because he was at hand and unlike his sisters had not been un… friendly to her。
The Hardy sisters; Mary and Harriet; were both older than Louise。 In a certain kind of knowledge of the world they were years older。 They lived as all of the young women of Middle Western towns lived。 In those days young women did not go out of our towns to Eastern colleges and ideas in regard to social classes had hardly begun to exist。 A daugh… ter of a laborer was in much the same social position as a daughter of a farmer or a merchant; and there were no leisure classes。 A girl was 〃nice〃 or she was 〃not nice。〃 If a nice girl; she had a young man who came to her house to see her on Sunday and on Wednesday evenings。 Sometimes she went with her young man to a dance or a church social。 At other times she received him at the house and was given the use of the parlor for that purpose。 No one in… truded upon her。 For hours the two sat behind closed doors。 Sometimes the lights were turned low and the young man and woman embraced。 Cheeks became hot and hair disarranged。 After a year or two; if the impulse within them became strong and insistent enough; they married。
One evening during her first winter in Winesburg; Louise had an adventure that gave a new impulse to her desire to break down the wall that she thought stood between her and John Hardy。 It was Wednesday and immediately after the evening meal Albert Hardy put on his hat and went away。 Young John brought the wood and put it in the box in Louise's room。 〃You do work hard; don't you?〃 he said awkwardly; and then before she could answer he also went away。
Louise heard him go out of the house and had a mad desire to run after him。 Opening her window she leaned out and called softly; 〃John; dear John; come back; don't go away。〃 The night was cloudy and she could not see far into the darkness; but as she waited she fancied she could hear a soft little noise as of someone going on tiptoes through the trees in the orchard。 She was frightened and closed the window quickly。 For an hour she moved about the room trembling with excitement and when she could not longer bear the waiting; she crept into the hall and down the stairs into a closet…like room that opened off the parlor。
Louise had decided that she would perform the courageous act that had for weeks been in her mind。 She was convinced that John Hardy had concealed himself in the orchard beneath her window and she was determined to find him and tell him that she wanted him to come close to her; to hold her in his arms; to tell her of his thoughts and dreams and to listen while she told him her thoughts and dreams。 〃In the darkness it will be easier to say things;〃 she whispered to herself; as she stood in the little room groping for the door。
And then suddenly Louise realized that she was not alone in the house。 In the parlor on the other side of the door a man's voice spoke softly and the door opened。 Louise just had time to conceal herself in a little opening beneath the stairway when Mary Hardy; accompanied by her young man; came into the little dark room。
For an hour Louise sat on the floor in the darkness and listened。 Without words Mary Hardy; with the aid of the man who had come to spend the evening with her; brought to the country girl a knowledge of men and women。 Putting her head down until she was curled into a little ball she lay perfectly still。 It seemed to her that by some strange impulse of the gods; a great gift had been brought to Mary Hardy and she could not understand the older wom… an's determined protest。
The young man took Mary Hardy into his arms and kissed her。 When she struggled and laughed; he but held her the more tightly。 For an hour the contest between them went on and then they went back into the parlor and Louise escaped up the stairs。 〃I hope you were quiet out there。 You must not disturb the little mouse at her studies;〃 she heard Harriet saying to her sister as she stood by her own door in the hallway above。
Louise wrote a note to John Hardy and late that night; when all in the house were asleep; she crept downstairs and slipped it under his door。 She was afraid that if she did not do the thing at once her courage would fail。 In the note she tried to be quite definite about what she wanted。 〃I want someone to love me and I want to love someone;〃 she wrote。 〃If you are the one for me I want you to come into the orchard at night and make a noise under my window。 It will be easy for me to crawl down