第 29 节
作者:击水三千      更新:2022-07-08 12:27      字数:9322
  ou were here。〃
  〃She had no reason to know it;〃 said the girl。  〃She is not my friend as you are her husband's friend。〃
  〃Ah no; I don't suppose that。  But she might have heard from you。〃
  〃She does n't hear from us。  My mother used to write to her for a while after she left Europe; but she has given it up。〃 She paused a moment; and then she added〃Blanche is too silly!〃
  Bernard noted this; wondering how it bore upon his theory of a spiteful element in his companion。  Of course Blanche was silly; but; equally of course; this young lady's perception of it was quickened by Blanche's having married a rich man whom she herself might have married。
  〃Gordon does n't think so;〃 Bernard said。
  Angela looked at him a moment。
  〃I am very glad to hear it;〃 she rejoined; gently。
  〃Yes; it is very fortunate。〃
  〃Is he well?〃 the girl asked。  〃Is he happy?〃
  〃He has all the air of it。〃
  〃I am very glad to hear it;〃 she repeated。  And then she moved the latch of the gate and passed in。  At the same moment her mother appeared in the open door…way。 Mrs。 Vivian had apparently been summoned by the sound of her daughter's colloquy with an unrecognized voice; and when she saw Bernard she gave a sharp little cry of surprise。 Then she stood gazing at him。
  Since the dispersion of the little party at Baden…Baden he had not devoted much meditation to this conscientious gentlewoman who had been so tenderly anxious to establish her daughter properly in life; but there had been in his mind a tacit assumption that if Angela deemed that he had played her a trick Mrs。 Vivian's view of his conduct was not more charitable。  He felt that he must have seemed to her very unkind; and that in so far as a well…regulated conscience permitted the exercise of unpractical passions; she honored him with a superior detestation。 The instant he beheld her on her threshold this conviction rose to the surface of his consciousness and made him feel that now; at least; his hour had come。
  〃It is Mr。 Longueville; whom we met at Baden;〃 said Angela to her mother; gravely。
  Mrs。 Vivian began to smile; and stepped down quickly toward the gate。
  〃Ah; Mr。 Longueville;〃 she murmured; 〃it 's so longit 's so pleasant it 's so strange〃
  And suddenly she stopped; still smiling。  Her smile had an odd intensity; she was trembling a little; and Bernard; who was prepared for hissing scorn; perceived with a deep; an almost violent; surprise; a touching agitation; an eager friendliness。
  〃Yes; it 's very long;〃 he said; 〃it 's very pleasant。 I have only just arrived; I met Miss Vivian。〃
  〃And you are not coming in?〃 asked Angela's mother; very graciously。
  〃Your daughter has not asked me!〃 said Bernard。
  〃Ah; my dearest;〃 murmured Mrs。 Vivian; looking at the girl。
  Her daughter returned her glance; and then the elder lady paused again; and simply began to smile at Bernard; who recognized in her glance that queer little intimationshy and cautious; yet perfectly discernible of a desire to have a private understanding with what he felt that she mentally termed his better nature; which he had more than once perceived at Baden…Baden。
  〃Ah no; she has not asked me;〃 Bernard repeated; laughing gently。
  Then Angela turned her eyes upon him; and the expression of those fine organs was strikingly agreeable。  It had; moreover; the merit of being easily interpreted; it said very plainly; 〃Please don't insist; but leave me alone。〃  And it said it not at all sharplyvery gently and pleadingly。 Bernard found himself understanding it so well that he literally blushed with intelligence。
  〃Don't you come to the Casino in the evening; as you used to come to the Kursaal?〃 he asked。
  Mrs。 Vivian looked again at her daughter; who had passed into the door…way of the cottage; then she said
  〃We will go this evening。〃
  〃I shall look for you eagerly;〃 Bernard rejoined。  〃Auf wiedersehen; as we used to say at Baden!〃
  Mrs。 Vivian waved him a response over the gate; her daughter gave him a glance from the threshold; and he took his way back to his inn。
  He awaited the evening with great impatience; he fancied he had made a discovery; and he wished to confirm it。 The discovery was that his idea that she bore him a grudge; that she was conscious of an injury; that he was associated in her mind with a wrong; had all been a morbid illusion。 She had forgiven; she had forgotten; she did n't care; she had possibly never cared!  This; at least; was his theory now; and he longed for a little more light upon it。 His old sense of her being a complex and intricate girl had; in that quarter of an hour of talk with her; again become lively; so that he was not absolutely sure his apprehensions had been vain。 But; with his quick vision of things; he had got the impression; at any rate; that she had no vulgar resentment of any slight he might have put upon her; or any disadvantage he might have caused her。 Her feeling about such a matter would be large and original。 Bernard desired to see more of that; and in the evening; in fact; it seemed to him that he did so。
  The terrace of the Casino was far from offering the brilliant spectacle of the promenade in front of the gaming…rooms at Baden。 It had neither the liberal illumination; the distinguished frequenters; nor the superior music which formed the attraction of that celebrated spot; but it had a modest animation of its own; in which the starlight on the open sea took the place of clustered lamps; and the mighty resonance of the waves performed the function of an orchestra。 Mrs。 Vivian made her appearance with her daughter; and Bernard; as he used to do at Baden; chose a corner to place some chairs for them。 The crowd was small; for most of the visitors had compressed themselves into one of the rooms; where a shrill operetta was being performed by a strolling troupe。  Mrs。 Vivian's visit was a short one; she remained at the Casino less than half an hour。  But Bernard had some talk with Angela。  He sat beside herher mother was on the other side; talking with an old French lady whose acquaintance she had made on the beach。  Between Bernard and Angela several things were said。 When his friends went away Bernard walked home with them。 He bade them good…night at the door of their chalet; and then slowly strolled back to the Casino。  The terrace was nearly empty; every one had gone to listen to the operetta; the sound of whose contemporary gayety came through the open; hot…looking windows in little thin quavers and catches。  The ocean was rumbling just beneath; it made a ruder but richer music。  Bernard stood looking at it a moment; then he went down the steps to the beach。  The tide was rather low; he walked slowly down to the line of the breaking waves。 The sea looked huge and black and simple; everything was vague in the unassisted darkness。  Bernard stood there some time; there was nothing but the sound and the sharp; fresh smell。 Suddenly he put his hand to his heart; it was beating very fast。 An immense conviction had come over himabruptly; then and there and for a moment he held his breath。  It was like a word spoken in the darknesshe held his breath to listen。  He was in love with Angela Vivian; and his love was a throbbing passion! He sat down on the stones where he stoodit filled him with a kind of awe。
  CHAPTER XXI
  It filled him with a kind of awe; and the feeling was by no means agreeable。  It was not a feeling to which even a man of Bernard Longueville's easy power of extracting the savour from a sensation could rapidly habituate himself; and for the rest of that night it was far from making of our hero the happy man that a lover just coming to self…consciousness is supposed to be。 It was wrongit was dishonorableit was impossibleand yet it was; it was; as nothing in his own personal experience had ever been。 He seemed hitherto to have been living by proxy; in a vision; in reflectionto have been an echo; a shadow; a futile attempt; but this at last was life itself; this was a fact; this was reality。 For these things one lived; these were the things that people had died for。  Love had been a fable before this doubtless a very pretty one; and passion had been a literary phraseemployed obviously with considerable effect。 But now he stood in a personal relation to these familiar ideas; which gave them a very much keener import; they had laid their hand upon him in the darkness; he felt it upon his shoulder; and he knew by its pressure that it was the hand of destiny。 What made this sensation a shock was the element that was mixed with it; the fact that it came not simply and singly; but with an attendant shadow in which it immediately merged and lost itself。 It was forbidden fruithe knew it the instant he had touched it。 He felt that he had pledged himself not to do just this thing which was gleaming before him so divinelynot to widen the crevice; not to open the door that would flood him with light。 Friendship and honor were at stake; they stood at his left hand; as his new…born passion stood already at his right; they claimed him as well; and their grasp had a pressure which might become acutely painful。  The soul is a still more tender organism than the body; and it shrinks from the prospect of being subjected to violence