第 48 节
作者:
人生几何 更新:2022-07-08 12:26 字数:9320
other。 And after I recovered from my hurt; I still lived there; and
toiled with them at the trade of fishing; for I knew not whither I
should go or what I should do; and; for a while; I was fain to become
a peasant fisherman; and so wear my weary life away。 And these people
entreated me kindly; though; as others; they feared me much; holding
me to be a wizard brought hither by the sea。 For my sorrows had
stamped so strange an aspect on my face that men gazing at me grew
fearful of what lay beneath its calm。
There; then; I abode; till at length; one night as I lay and strove to
sleep; great restlessness came upon me; and a mighty desire once more
to see the face of Sihor。 But whether this desire was of the Gods or
born of my own heart; not knowing; I cannot tell。 So strong was it; at
the least; that before it was dawn I rose from my bed of straw and
clothed myself in my fisher garb; and; because I had no wish to answer
questions; thus I took farewell of my humble hosts。 First I placed
some pieces of gold on the well…cleaned table of wood; and then taking
a pot of flour I strewed it in the form of letters; writing:
〃This gift from Olympus; the Egyptian; who returns into the sea。〃
Then I went; and on the third day I came to the great city of Salamis;
that is also on the sea。 Here I abode in the fishermen's quarters till
a vessel was about to sail for Alexandria; and to the captain of this
vessel; a man of Paphos; I hired myself as a sailor。 We sailed with a
favouring wind; and on the fifth day I came to Alexandria; that
hateful city; and saw the light dancing on its golden domes。
Here I might not abide。 So again I hired myself out as a sailor;
giving my labour in return for passage; and we passed up the Nile。 And
I learned from the talk of men that Cleopatra had come back to
Alexandria; drawing Antony with her and that they lived together with
royal state in the palace on the Lochias。 Indeed; the boatmen already
had a song thereon; which they sang as they laboured at the oar。 Also
I heard how the galley that was sent to search for the vessel which
carried the Syrian merchant had foundered with all her crew; and the
tale that the Queen's astronomer; Harmachis; had flown to Heaven from
the roof of the house at Tarsus。 And the sailors wondered because I
sat and laboured and would not sing their ribald song of the loves of
Cleopatra。 For they; too; began to fear me; and mutter concerning me
among themselves。 Then I knew that I was a man accursed and set apart
a man whom none might love。
On the sixth day we drew nigh to Abouthis; where I left the craft; and
the sailors were right glad to see me go。 And; with a breaking heart;
I walked through the fertile fields; seeing faces that I knew well。
But in my rough disguise and limping gait none knew me。 At length; as
the sun sank; I came near to the great outer pylon of the temple; and
here I crouched down in the ruins of a house; not knowing why I had
come or what I was about to do。 Like a lost ox I had strayed from far;
back to the fields of my birth; and for what? If my father; Amenemhat;
still lived; surely he would turn his face from me。 I dared not go
into the presence of my father。 I sat hidden there among the broken
rafters; and idly watched the pylon gates; to see if; perchance; a
face I knew should issue from them。 But none came forth or entered in;
though the great gates stood wide; and then I saw that herbs were
growing between the stones; where no herbs had grown for ages。 What
could this be? Was the temple deserted? Nay; how could the worship of
the eternal Gods have ceased; that for thousands of years had; day by
day; been offered in the holy place? Was; then; my father dead? It
well might be。 And yet; why this silence? Where were the priests:
where the worshippers?
I could bear the doubt no more; but as the sun sank red I crept like a
hunted jackal through the open gates; and on till I reached the first
great Hall of Pillars。 Here I paused and gazed around menot a sight;
not a sound; in the dim and holy place! I went on with a beating heart
to the second great hall; the hall of six…and…thirty pillars where I
had been crowned Lord of all the Lands: still not a sight or a sound!
Thence; half fearful of my own footfall; so terribly did it echo in
the silence of the deserted Holies; I passed down the passage of the
names of the Pharaohs towards my father's chamber。 The curtain still
swung over the doorway; but what would there be within?also
emptiness? I lifted it; and noiselessly passed in; and there in his
carven chair at the table on which his long white beard flowed; sat my
father; Amenemhat; clad in his priestly robes。 At first I thought that
he was dead; he sat so still; but at length he turned his head; and I
saw that his eyes were white and sightless。 He was blind; and his face
was thin as the face of a dead man; and woeful with age and grief。
I stood still and felt the blind eyes wandering over me。 I could not
speak to himI dared not speak to him; I would go and hide myself
afresh。
I had already turned and grasped the curtain; when my father spoke in
a deep; slow voice:
〃Come hither; thou who wast my son and art a traitor。 Come hither;
thou Harmachis; on whom Khem builded up her hope。 Not in vain; then;
have I drawn thee from far away! Not in vain have I held my life in me
till I heard thy footfall creeping down these empty Holies; like the
footfall of a thief!〃
〃Oh! my father;〃 I gasped; astonished。 〃Thou art blind: how knowest
thou me?〃
〃How do I know thee?and askest thou that who hast learned of our
lore? Enough; I know thee and I brought thee hither。 Would; Harmachis;
that I knew thee not! Would that I had been blasted of the Invisible
ere I drew thee down from the womb of Nout; to be my curse and shame;
and the last woe of Khem!〃
〃Oh; speak not thus!〃 I moaned; 〃is not my burden already more than I
can bear? Am I not myself betrayed and utterly outcast? Be pitiful; my
father!〃
〃Be pitiful!be pitiful to thee who hast shown so great pity? It was
thy pity which gave up noble Sepa to die beneath the hands of the
tormentors!〃
〃Oh; not thatnot that!〃 I cried。
〃Ay; traitor; that!to die in agony; with his last poor breath
proclaiming thee; his murderer; honest and innocent! Be pitiful to
thee; who gavest all the flower of Khem as the price of a wanton's
arms!thinkest thou that; labouring in the darksome desert mines;
those noble ones in thought are pitiful to thee; Harmachis? Be pitiful
to thee; by whom this Holy Temple of Abouthis hath been ravaged; its
lands seized; its priests scattered; and I alone; old and withered;
left to count out its ruinto thee; who hast poured the treasures of
/Her/ into thy leman's lap; who hast forsworn Thyself; thy Country;
thy Birthright; and thy Gods! Yea; thus am I pitiful: Accursed be
thou; fruit of my loins!Shame be thy portion; Agony thy end; and
Hell receive thee at the last! Where art thou? Yea; I grew blind with
weeping when I heard the truthsure; they strove to hide it from me。
Let me find thee that I may spit upon thee; thou Renegade! thou
Apostate! thou Outcast!〃and he rose from his seat and staggered like
a living Wrath toward me; smiting the air with his wand。 And as he
came with outstretched arms; awful to see; suddenly his end found him;
and with a cry he sank down upon the ground; the red blood streaming
from his lips。 I ran to him and lifted him; and as he died; he
babbled:
〃He was my son; a bright…eyed lovely boy; and full of promise as the
Spring; and nowand nowoh; would that he were dead!〃
Then came a pause and the breath rattled in his throat。
〃Harmachis;〃 he gasped; 〃art there?〃
〃Yea; father。〃
〃Harmachis; atone!atone! Vengeance can still be wreakedforgiveness
may still be won。 There's gold; I've hidden itAtouashe can tell
theeah; this pain! Farewell!〃
And he struggled faintly in my arms and was dead。
Thus; then; did I and my holy father; the Prince Amenemhat; meet
together for the last time in the flesh; and for the last time part。
CHAPTER II
OF THE LAST MISERY OF HARMACHIS; OF THE CALLING DOWN OF THE
HOLY ISIS BY THE WORD OF FEAR; OF THE PROMISE OF ISIS; OF THE
COMING OF ATOUA; AND OF THE WORDS OF ATOUA
I crouched upon the floor gazing at the dead body of my father; who
had lived to curse me; the utterly accursed; while the darkness crept
and gathered round us; till at length the dead and I were alone in the
black silence。 Oh; how tell the misery of that hour! Imagination
cannot dream it; nor words paint it forth。 Once more in my
wretchedness I bethought me of death。 A knife was at my girdle; with
which I might cut the thread of sorrow and set my spirit free。 Free?
ay; free to fly and face the last vengeance of the Holy Gods! Alas!
and alas! I did not dare to die。 Better the earth with all its woes