第 46 节
作者:人生几何      更新:2022-07-08 12:26      字数:9322
  spake to thee in parables; as something of little worthas a thing
  too small to claim a moment's weighty thought。 And; knowing that this
  was becausethough thou knewest it notthou didst love Cleopatra;
  whom now thou must straightway slay; I grew mad; and a wicked Spirit
  entered into me; possessing me utterly; so that I was myself no
  longer; nor could control myself。 And because thou hadst scorned me; I
  did this; to my everlasting shame and sorrow!I passed into
  Cleopatra's presence and betrayed thee and those with thee; and our
  holy cause; saying that I had found a writing which thou hadst let
  fall and read all this therein。〃
  I gasped and sat silent; and gazing sadly at me she went on:
  〃When she understood how great was the plot; and how deep its roots;
  Cleopatra was much troubled; and; at first; she would have fled to
  Sais or taken ship and run for Cyprus; but I showed her that the ways
  were barred。 Then she said she would cause thee to be slain; there; in
  the chamber; and I left her so believing; for; at that hour; I was
  glad that thou shouldst be slainay; even if I wept out my heart upon
  thy grave; Harmachis。 But what said I just now?Vengeance is an arrow
  that oft falls on him who looses it。 So it was with me; for between my
  going and thy coming Cleopatra hatched a deeper plan。 She feared that
  to slay thee would only be to light a fiercer fire of revolt; but she
  saw that to bind thee to her; and; having left men awhile in doubt; to
  show thee faithless; would strike the imminent danger at its roots and
  wither it。 This plot once formed; being great; she dared its doubtful
  issue; andneed I go on? Thou knowest; Harmachis; how she won; and
  thus the shaft of vengeance that I loosed fell upon my own head。 For
  on the morrow I knew that I had sinned for naught; that the burden of
  my betrayal had been laid on the wretched Paulus; and that I had but
  ruined the cause to which I was sworn and given the man I loved to the
  arms of wanton Egypt。〃
  She bowed her head awhile; and then; as I spoke not; once more went
  on:
  〃Let all my sin be told; Harmachis; and then let justice come。 See
  now; this thing happened。 Half did Cleopatra learn to love thee; and
  deep in her heart she bethought her of taking thee to wedded husband。
  For the sake of this half love of hers she spared the lives of those
  in the plot whom she had meshed; bethinking her that if she wedded
  thee she might use them and thee to draw the heart of Egypt; which
  loves not her nor any Ptolemy。 And then; once again she entrapped
  thee; and in thy folly thou didst betray to her the secret of the
  hidden wealth of Egypt; which to…day she squanders to delight the
  luxurious Antony; and; of a truth; at that time she purposed to make
  good her oath and marry thee。 But on the very morn when Dellius came
  for answer she sent for me; and telling me allfor my wit; above any;
  she holds at pricedemanded of me my judgment whether she should defy
  Antony and wed thee; or whether she should put the thought away and
  come to Antony。 And Inow mark thou all my sinI; in my bitter
  jealousy; rather than I would see her thy wedded wife and thou her
  loving lord; counselled her most strictly that she should come to
  Antony; well knowingfor I had had speech with Delliusthat if she
  came; this weak Antony would fall like a ripe fruit at her feet; as;
  indeed; he has fallen。 And but now I have shown thee the issue of the
  scheme。 Antony loves Cleopatra and Cleopatra loves Antony; and thou
  art robbed; and matters have gone well for me; who of all women on the
  earth to…night am the wretchedest by far。 For when I saw how thy heart
  broke but now; my heart seemed to break with thine; and I could no
  longer bear the burden of my evil deeds; but knew that I must tell
  them and take my punishment。
  〃And now; Harmachis; I have no more to say; save that I thank thee for
  thy courtesy in hearkening; and this one thing I add。 Driven by my
  great love I have sinned against thee unto death! I have ruined thee;
  I have ruined Khem; and myself also I have ruined! Let death reward
  me! Slay thou me; HarmachisI will gladly die upon thy sword; ay; and
  kiss its blade! Slay thou me and go; for if thou slayest me not;
  myself I will surely slay!〃 And she threw herself upon her knees;
  lifting her fair breast toward me; that I might smite her with my
  dagger。 And; in my bitter fury; I was minded to strike; for; above
  all; I thought how; when I was fallen; this woman; who herself was my
  cause of shame; had scourged me with her whip of scorn。 But it is hard
  to slay a fair woman; and; even as I lifted my hand to strike; I
  remembered that she had now twice saved my life。
  〃Woman! thou shameless woman!〃 I said; 〃arise! I slay thee not! Who am
  I; that I should judge thy crime; that; with mine own; doth overtop
  all earthly judgment?〃
  〃Slay me; Harmachis!〃 she moaned; 〃slay me; or I slay myself! My
  burden is too great for me to bear! Be not so deadly calm! Curse me;
  and slay!〃
  〃What was it that thou didst say to me just now; Charmionthat as I
  had sown so I must reap? It is not lawful that thou shouldst slay
  thyself; it is not lawful that I; thine equal in sin; should slay thee
  because through thee I sinned。 As /thou/ hast sown; Charmion; so must
  /thou/ also reap。 Base woman! whose cruel jealousy has brought all
  these woes on me and Egypt; livelive on; and from year to year pluck
  the bitter fruit of crime! Haunted be thy sleep by visions of thy
  outraged Gods; whose vengeance awaits thee and me in their dim Amenti!
  Haunted be thy days by memories of that man whom thy fierce love
  brought to shame and ruin; and by the sight of Khem a prey to the
  insatiate Cleopatra and a slave to Roman Antony。〃
  〃Oh; speak not thus; Harmachis! Thy words are sharper than any sword;
  and more surely; if more slowly; shall they slay! Listen; Harmachis;〃
  and she grasped my robe: 〃when thou wast great; and all power lay
  within thy grasp; thou didst reject me。 Wilt reject me now that
  Cleopatra hast cast thee from hernow that thou art poor and shamed
  and with no pillow to thy head? Still am I fair; and still I worship
  thee。 Let me fly with thee; and make atonement for my lifelong love。
  Or; if this be too great a thing to ask; let me be but as thy sister
  and thy servantthy very slave; so that I may still look upon thy
  face; and share thy trouble and minister to thee。 O Harmachis; let me
  but come and I will brave all things and endure all things; and
  nothing but Death himself shall stay me from thy side。 For I do
  believe that the love that sank me to so low a depth; dragging thee
  with me; can yet lift me to an equal height; and thee with me!〃
  〃Wouldst tempt me to fresh sin; woman? And dost thou think; Charmion;
  that in some hovel where I must hide; I could bear; day by day; to
  look upon thy fair face; and seeing; remember that those lips betrayed
  me? Not thus easily shalt thou atone! This I know even now: many and
  heavy shall be thy lonely days of penance! Perchance that hour of
  vengeance yet may come; and perchance thou shalt live to play thy part
  in it。 Thou must still abide in the Court of Cleopatra; and; while
  thou art there; if I yet live; I will from time to time find means to
  give thee tidings。 Perhaps a day may dawn when once more I shall need
  thy service。 Now; swear that; in this event; thou wilt not fail me a
  second time。〃
  〃I swear; Harmachis!I swear! May everlasting torments; too hideous
  to be dreamedmore hideous; even; by far; than those that wring me
  nowbe my portion if I fail thee in one jot or tittleay; though I
  wait a lifetime for thy word!〃
  〃It is well; see that thou keep the oathnot twice may we betray。 I
  go to work out my fate; abide thou to work out thine。 Perchance our
  divers threads will once more mingle ere the web be spun。 Charmion;
  who unasked didst love meand who; prompted by that gentle love of
  thine; didst betray and ruin mefare thee well!〃
  She gazed wildly upon my faceshe stretched out her arms as though to
  clasp me; then; in the agony of her despair; she cast herself at
  length and grovelled upon the ground。
  I took up the sack of clothing and the staff and gained the door; and;
  as I passed it; I threw one last glance upon her。 There she lay; with
  arms outstretchedmore white than her white robesher dark hair
  streaming about her; and her fair brows hidden in the dust。
  And thus I left her; nor did I again set my eyes upon her till nine
  long years had come and gone。
  'Here ends the second and largest roll of papyrus。'
  BOOK III
  THE VENGEANCE OF HARMACHIS
  CHAPTER I
  OF THE ESCAPE OF HARMACHIS FROM TARSUS; OF HIS BEING CAST
  FORTH AS AN OFFERING TO THE GODS OF THE SEA; OF HIS SOJOURN IN
  THE ISLE OF CYPRUS; OF HIS RETURN TO ABOUTHIS; AND OF THE
  DEATH OF AMENEMHAT
  I made my way down the stair in safety; and presently stood in the
  courtyard of that great house。 It was but an ho