第 31 节
作者:
人生几何 更新:2022-07-08 12:26 字数:9321
〃Bethink thee;〃 she answered; with a heavy frown。 〃Bethink thee and
choose。 I am but a woman; Harmachis; and one who is not wont to sue to
men。 Do as thou wilt; but this I say to theeif thou dost put me
away; I will gather up the mercy I have meted out。 Therefore; most
virtuous priest; choose thou between the heavy burden of my love and
the swift death of thy aged father and of all those who plotted with
him。〃
I glanced at her and saw that she was angered; for her eyes shone and
her bosom heaved。 So; I sighed and kissed her; thereby setting the
seal upon my shame and bondage。 Then; smiling like the triumphant
Aphrodité of the Greeks; she went thence; bearing the dagger with her。
I knew not yet how deeply I was betrayed; or why I was still left to
draw the breath of life; or why Cleopatra; the tiger…hearted; had
grown merciful。 I did not know that she feared to slay me; lest; so
strong was the plot and so feeble her hold upon the Double Crown; the
tumult that might tread hard upon the tidings of my murder should
shake her from the throneeven when I was no more。 I did not know
that because of fear and the weight of policy only she showed scant
mercy to those whom I had betrayed; or that because of cunning and not
for the holy sake of woman's lovethough; in truth; she liked me well
enoughshe chose rather to bind me to her by the fibres of my heart。
And yet I will say this in her behalf: even when the danger…cloud had
melted from her sky she kept faith; nor; save Paulus and one other;
did any suffer the utmost penalty of death for their part in the great
plot against Cleopatra's crown and dynasty。 But they suffered many
other things。
And so she went; leaving the vision of her glory to strive with the
shame and sorrow in my heart。 Oh; bitter were the hours that could not
now be made light with prayer。 For the link between me and the Divine
was snapped; and Isis communed with Her Priest no more。 Bitter were
the hours and dark; but ever through their darkness shone the starry
eyes of Cleopatra; and came the echo of her whispered love。 For not
yet was the cup of sorrow full。 Hope still lingered in my heart; and I
could almost think that I had failed to some higher end; and that in
the depths of ruin I should find another and more flowery path to
triumph。
For thus those who sin deceive themselves; striving to lay the burden
of their evil deeds upon the back of Fate; striving to believe their
wickedness may compass good; and to murder Conscience with the sharp
plea of Necessity。 But it can avail nothing; for hand in hand down the
path of sin rush Remorse and Ruin; and woe to him they follow! Ay; and
woe to me who of all sinners am the chief!
CHAPTER IX
OF THE IMPRISONMENT OF HARMACHIS; OF THE SCORN OF CHARMION;
OF THE SETTING FREE OF HARMACHIS; AND OF THE COMING OF QUINTUS DELLIUS
For a space of eleven days I was thus kept prisoned in my chamber; nor
did I see anyone except the sentries at my doors; the slaves who in
silence brought me food and drink; and Cleopatra's self; who came
continually。 But; though her words of love were many; she would tell
me nothing of how things went without。 She came in many moodsnow gay
and laughing; now full of wise thoughts and speech; and now passionate
only; and to every mood she gave some new…found charm。 She was full of
talk as to how I should help her make Egypt great; and lessen the
burdens on the people; and fright the Roman eagles back。 And; though
at first I listened heavily when she spoke thus; by slow advance as
she wrapped me closer and yet more close in her magic web; from which
there was no escape; my mind fell in time with hers。 Then I; too;
opened something of my heart; and somewhat also of the plans that I
had formed for Egypt。 She seemed to listen gladly; weighing them all;
and spoke of means and methods; telling me how she would purify the
Faith and repair the ancient templesay; and build new ones to the
Gods。 And ever she crept deeper into my heart; till at length; now
that every other thing had gone from me; I learned to love her with
all the unspent passion of my aching soul。 I had naught left to me but
Cleopatra's love; and I twined my life about it; and brooded on it as
a widow over her only babe。 And thus the very author of my shame
became my all; my dearest dear; and I loved her with a strong love
that grew and grew; till it seemed to swallow up the past and make the
present a dream。 For she had conquered me; she had robbed me of my
honour; and steeped me to the lips in shame; and I; poor fallen;
blinded wretch; I kissed the rod that smote me; and was her very
slave。
Ay; even now; in those dreams which still come when Sleep unlocks the
secret heart; and sets its terrors free to roam through the opened
halls of Thought; I seem to see her royal form; as erst I saw it; come
with arms outstretched and Love's own light shining in her eyes; with
lips apart and flowing locks; and stamped upon her face the look of
utter tenderness that she alone could wear。 Ay; still; after all the
years; I seem to see her come as erst she came; and still I wake to
know her an unutterable lie!
And thus one day she came。 She had fled in haste; she said; from some
great council summoned concerning the wars of Antony in Syria; and she
came; as she had left the council; in all her robes of state; the
sceptre in her hand; and on her brow the ur?us diadem of gold。 There
she sat before me; laughing; for; wearying of them; she had told the
envoys to whom she gave audience in the council that she was called
from their presence by a sudden message come from Rome; and the jest
seemed merry to her。 Suddenly she rose; took the diadem from her brow;
and set it on my hair; and on my shoulders her royal mantle; and in my
hand the sceptre; and bowed the knee before me。 Then; laughing again;
she kissed me on the lips; and said I was indeed her King。 But;
remembering how I had been crowned in the halls of Abouthis; and
remembering also that wreath of roses of which the odour haunts me
yet; I rose; pale with wrath; and cast the trinkets from me; asking
how she dared to mock meher caged bird。 And I think there was that
about me which startled her; for she fell back。
〃Nay; Harmachis;〃 she said; 〃be not wroth! How knowest thou that I
mock thee? How knowest thou that thou shalt not be Pharaoh in fact and
deed?〃
〃What meanest thou?〃 I said。 〃Wilt thou; then; wed me before Egypt?
How else can I be Pharaoh now?〃
She cast down her eyes。 〃Perchance; love; it is in my mind to wed
thee;〃 she said gently。 〃Listen;〃 she went on: 〃Thou growest pale;
here; in this prison; and thou dost eat little。 Gainsay me not! I know
it from the slaves。 I have kept thee here; Harmachis; for thy own
sake; that is so dear to me; and for thy own sake; and thy honour's
sake; thou must still seem to be my prisoner。 Else wouldst thou be
shamed and slainay; murdered secretly。 But I can meet thee here no
more! therefore to…morrow I shall free thee in all; save in the name;
and thou shalt once more be seen at Court as my astronomer。 And I will
give this reasonthat thou hast cleared thyself; and; moreover; that
thy auguries as regards the war have been auguries of truthas;
indeed; they have; though for this I have no cause to thank thee;
seeing that thou didst suit thy prophecies to fit thy cause。 Now;
farewell; for I must return to those heavy…browed ambassadors; and
grow not so sudden wroth; Harmachis; for who knows what may come to
pass betwixt thee and me?〃
And; with a little nod; she went; leaving it on my mind that she had
it in her heart to wed me openly。 And of a truth; I believe that; at
this hour; such was her thought。 For; if she loved me not; still she
held me dear; and as yet she had not wearied of me。
On the morrow Cleopatra came not; but Charmion cameCharmion; whom I
had not seen since that fatal night of ruin。 She entered and stood
before me; with pale face and downcast eyes; and her first words were
words of bitterness。
〃Pardon me;〃 she said; in her gentle voice; 〃in that I dare to come to
thee in Cleopatra's place。 Thy joy is not delayed for long; for thou
shalt see her presently。〃
I shrank at her words; as well I might; and; seeing her vantage; she
seized it。
〃I come; Harmachisroyal no more!I come to say that thou art free!
Thou art free to face thine own infamy; and see it thrown back from
every eye which trusted thee; as shadows are from water。 I come to
tell thee that the great plotthe plot of twenty years and moreis
at its utter end。 None have been slain; indeed; unless it is Sepa; who
has vanished。 But all the leaders have been seized and put in chains;
or driven from the land; and their party is broken and scattered。 The
storm has melted before it burst。 Egypt is lost; and lost for ever;
for her last hope is gone! No longer may she strugglenow for all
time s