And　this　is　why　the　names　are　so　much　alike：　crap　and　clap。　But
  tell　me　this。　Whence　comes　the　lightning；　the　dazzling　flame；　which　at
  times　consumes　the　man　it　strikes；　at　others　hardly　singes　him。　Is
  it　not　plain；　that　Zeus　is　hurling　it　at　the　perjurers？
  SOCRATES
  Out　upon　the　fool！　the　driveller！　he　still　savours　of　the　golden
  age！　If　Zeus　strikes　at　the　perjurers；　why　has　he　not　blasted　Simon；
  Cleonymus　and　Theorus？　Of　a　surety；　greater　perjurers　cannot　exist。
  No；　he　strikes　his　own　temple；　and　Sunium；　the　promontory　of　Athens；
  and　the　towering　oaks。　Now；　why　should　he　do　that？　An　oak　is　no
  perjurer。
  STREPSIADES
  I　cannot　tell；　but　it　seems　to　me　well　argued。　What　is　the
  lightning　then？
  SOCRATES
  When　a　dry　wind　ascends　to　the　Clouds　and　gets　shut　into　them；
  it　blows　them　out　like　a　bladder；　finally；　being　too　confined；　it
  bursts　them；　escapes　with　fierce　violence　and　a　roar　to　flash　into
  flame　by　reason　of　its　own　impetuosity。
  STREPSIADES
  Ah；　that's　just　what　happened　to　me　one　day。　It　was　at　the　feast
  of　Zeus！　I　was　cooking　a　sow's　belly　for　my　family　and　I　had　forgotten
  to　slit　it　open。　It　swelled　out　and；　suddenly　bursting；　discharged
  itself　right　into　my　eyes　and　burnt　my　face。
  LEADER　OF　THE　CHORUS
  Oh；　mortal；　you　who　desire　to　instruct　yourself　in　our　great
  wisdom；　the　Athenians；　the　Greeks　will　envy　you　your　good　fortune。
  Only　you　must　have　the　memory　and　ardour　for　study；　you　must　know
  how　to　stand　the　tests；　hold　your　own；　go　forward　without　feeling
  fatigue；　caring　but　little　for　food；　abstaining　from　wine；　gymnastic
  exercises　and　other　similar　follies；　in　fact；　you　must　believe　as
  every　man　of　intellect　should；　that　the　greatest　of　all　blessings　is
  to　live　and　think　more　clearly　than　the　vulgar　herd；　to　shine　in　the
  contests　of　words。
  STREPSIADES
  If　it　be　a　question　of　hardiness　for　labour；　of　spending　whole
  nights　at　work；　of　living　sparingly；　of　fighting　my　stomach　and　only
  eating　chickpease；　rest　assured；　I　am　as　hard　as　an　anvil。
  SOCRATES
  Henceforward；　following　our　example；　you　will　recognize　no　other
  gods　but　Chaos；　the　Clouds　and　the　Tongue；　these　three　alone。
  STREPSIADES
  I　would　not　speak　to　the　others；　even　if　I　met　them　in　the　street；
  not　a　single　sacrifice；　not　a　libation；　not　a　grain　of　incense　for
  them！
  LEADER　OF　THE　CHORUS
  Tell　us　boldly　then　what　you　want　of　us；　you　cannot　fail　to
  succeed。　If　you　honour　and　revere　us　and　if　you　are　resolved　to　become
  a　clever　man。
  STREPSIADES
  Oh；　sovereign　goddesses；　it　is　only　a　very　small　favour　that　I　ask
  of　you；　grant　that　I　may　outdistance　all　the　Greeks　by　a　hundred
  stadia　in　the　art　of　speaking。
  LEADER　OF　THE　CHORUS
  We　grant　you　this；　and　henceforward　no　eloquence　shall　more
  often　succeed　with　the　people　than　your　own。
  STREPSIADES
  May　the　gods　shield　me　from　possessing　great　eloquence！　That's　not
  what　I　want。　I　want　to　be　able　to　turn　bad　law…suits　to　my　own
  advantage　and　to　slip　through　the　fingers　of　my　creditors。
  LEADER　OF　THE　CHORUS
  It　shall　be　as　you　wish；　for　your　ambitions　are　modest。　Commit
  yourself　fearlessly　to　our　ministers；　the　sophists。
  STREPSIADES
  This　I　will　do；　for　I　trust　in　you。　Moreover　there　is　no　drawing
  back；　what　with　these　cursed　horses　and　this　marriage；　which　has　eaten
  up　my　vitals。　（More　and　more　volubly　from　here　to　the　end　of　speeck）
  So　let　them　do　with　me　as　they　will；　I　yield　my　body　to　them。　Come
  blows；　come　hunger；　thirst；　heat　or　cold；　little　matters　it　to　me；
  they　may　flay　me；　if　I　only　escape　my　debts；　if　only　I　win　the
  reputation　of　being　a　bold　rascal；　a　fine　speaker；　impudent；
  shameless；　a　braggart；　and　adept　at　stringing　lies；　an　old　stager　at
  quibbles；　a　complete　table　of　laws；　a　thorough　rattle；　a　fox　to　slip
  through　any　hole；　supple　as　a　leathern　strap；　slippery　as　an　eel；　an
  artful　fellow；　a　blusterer；　a　villain；　a　knave　with　a　hundred　faces；
  cunning；　intolerable；　a　gluttonous　dog。　With　such　epithets　do　I　seek
  to　be　greeted；　on　these　terms　they　can　treat　me　as　they　choose；　and；
  if　they　wish；　by　Demeter！　they　can　turn　me　into　sausages　and　serve
  me　up　to　the　philosophers。
  CHORUS　（singing）
  Here　have　we　a　bold　and　well…disposed　pupil　indeed。　When　we　have
  taught　you；　your　glory　among　the　mortals　will　reach　even　to　the　skies。
  STREPSIADES　（singing）
  Wherein　will　that　profit　me？
  CHORUS　（singing）
  You　will　pass　your　whole　life　among　us　and　will　be　the　most　envied
  of　men。
  STREPSIADES　（singing）
  Shall　I　really　ever　see　such　happiness？
  CHORUS　（singing）
  Clients　will　be　everlastingly　besieging　your　door　in　crowds；
  burning　to　get　at　you；　to　explain　their　business　to　you　and　to　consult
  you　about　their　suits；　which；　in　return　for　your　ability；　will　bring
  you　in　great　sums。
  LEADER　OF　THE　CHORUS
  But；　Socrates；　begin　the　lessons　you　want　to　teach　this　old　man；
  rouse　his　mind；　try　the　strength　of　his　intelligence。
  SOCRATES
  Come；　tell　me　the　kind　of　mind　you　have；　it's　important　that　I
  know　this；　that　I　may　order　my　batteries　against　you　in　the　right
  fashion。
  STREPSIADES
  Eh；　what！　in　the　name　of　the　gods；　are　you　purposing　to　assault　me
  then？
  SOCRATES
  No。　I　only　wish　to　ask　you　some　questions。　Have　you　any　memory？
  STREPSIADES
  That　depends：　if　anything　is　owed　me；　my　memory　is　excellent；
  but　if　I　owe；　alas！　I　have　none　whatever。
  SOCRATES
  Have　you　a　natural　gift　for　speaking？
  STREPSIADES
  For　speaking；　no；　for　cheating；　yes。
  SOCRATES
  How　will　you　be　able　to　learn　then？
  STREPSIADES
  Very　easily；　have　no　fear。
  SOCRATES
  Thus；　when　I　throw　forth　some　philosophical　thought　anent　things
  celestial。；　you　will　seize　it　in　its　very　flight？
  STREPSIADES
  Then　I　am　to　snap　up　wisdom　much　as　a　dog　snaps　up　a　morsel？
  SOCRATES　（aside）
  Oh！　the　ignoramus！　the　barbarian！　（to　STREPSIADES）　I　greatly　fear；
  old　man；　it　will　be　necessary　for　me　to　have　recourse　to　blows。　Now；
  let　me　hear　what　you　do　when　you　are　beaten。
  STREPSIADES
  I　receive　the　blow；　then　wait　a　moment；　take　my　witnesses　and
  finally　summon　my　assailant　at　law。
  SOCRATES
  Come；　take　off　your　cloak。
  STREPSIADES
  Have　I　robbed　you　of　anything？
  SOCRATES
  No。　but　the　usual　thing　is　to　enter　the　school　without　your　cloak。
  STREPSIADES
  But　I　have　not　come　here　to　look　for　stolen　goods。
  SOCRATES
  Off　with　it；　fool！
  STREPSIADES　（He　obeys。）
  Tell　me；　if　I　prove　thoroughly　attentive　and　learn　with　zeal；
  which　O；　your　disciples　shall　I　resemble；　do　you　think？
  SOCRATES
  You　will　be　the　image　of　Chaerephon。
  STREPSIADES
  Ah！　unhappy　me！　Shall　I　then　be　only　half　alive？
  SOCRATES
  A　truce　to　this　chatter！　follow　me　and　no　more　of　it。
  STREPSIADES
  First　give　me　a　honey…cake；　for　to　descend　down　there　sets　me
  all　a…tremble；　it　looks　like　the　cave　of　Trophonius。
  SOCRATES
  But　get　in　with　you！　What　reason　have　you　for　thus　dallying　at　the
  door？
  （They　go　into　the　Thoughtery。）
  LEADER　OF　THE　CHORUS
  Good　luck！　you　have　courage；　may　you　succeed；　you；　who；　though
  already　so　advanced　in　years；　wish　to　instruct　your　mind　with　new
  studies　and　practise　it　in　wisdom！　（The　CHORUS　turns　and　faces　the
  Audience。）　Spectators！　By　Bacchus；　whose　servant　I　am；　I　will
  frankly　tell　you　the　truth。　May　I　secure　both　victory　and　renown　as
  certainly　as　I　hold　you　for　adept　critics　and　as　I　regard　this
  comedy　as　my　best。　I　wished　to　give　you　the　first　view　of　a　work；
  which　had　cost　me　much　trouble；　but　which　I　withdrew；　unjustly
  beaten　by　unskilful　rivals。　It　is　you；　oh；　enlightened　public；　for
  whom　I　have　prepared　my　piece；　that　I　reproach　with　this。　Nevertheless
  I　shall　never　willingly　cease　to　seek　the　approval　of　the
  discerning。　I　have　not　forgotten　the　day；　when　men；　whom　one　is
  happy　to　have　for　an　audience；　received　my　Virtuous　Young　Man　and　my
  Paederast　with　so　much　favour　in　this　very　place。　Then　as　yet
  virgin；　my　Muse　had　not　attained　the　age　for　maternity；　she　had　to
  expose　her　first…born　for　another　to　adopt；　and　it　has　since　grown
  up　under　your　generous　patronage。　Ever　since　you　have　as　good　as　sworn
  me　your　faithful　alliance。　Thus；　like　the　Electra　of　the　poets；　my
  comedy　has　come　to　seek　you　to…day；　hoping　again　to　encounter　such
  enlightened　spectators。　As　far　away　as　she　can　discern　her　Orestes；
  she　will　be　able　to　recognize　him　by　his　curly　head。　And　note　her
  modest　demeanour！　She　has　not　sewn　on　a　piece　of　hanging　leather；
  thick　and　reddened　at　the　end；　to　cause　laughter　among　the　children；
  she　does　not　rail　at　the　bald；　neither　does　she　dance　the　cordax；　no
  old　man　is　seen；　who；　while　uttering　his　lines；　batters　his　questioner
  with　a　stick　to　make　his　poor　jests　pass　muster。　She　does　not　rush
  upon　the　scene　carryin