第 21 节
作者:
圈圈 更新:2022-06-19 10:08 字数:9322
poor woman? And I hope that you will be kind enough to send us home; and
to spare us the disgrace of a prosecution。
〃Years ago; when I was young; I made Monsieur Beaurain's acquaintance one
Sunday in this neighborhood。 He was employed in a draper's shop; and I
was a saleswoman in a ready…made clothing establishment。 I remember it
as if it were yesterday。 I used to come and spend Sundays here
occasionally with a friend of mine; Rose Leveque; with whom I lived in
the Rue Pigalle; and Rose had a sweetheart; while I had none。 He used to
bring us here; and one Saturday he told me laughing that he should bring
a friend with him the next day。 I quite understood what he meant; but I
replied that it would be no good; for I was virtuous; monsieur。
〃The next day we met Monsieur Beaurain at the railway station; and in
those days he was good…looking; but I had made up my mind not to
encourage him; and I did not。 Well; we arrived at Bezons。 It was a
lovely day; the sort of day that touches your heart。 When it is fine
even now; just as it used to be formerly; I grow quite foolish; and when
I am in the country I utterly lose my head。 The green grass; the
swallows flying so swiftly; the smell of the grass; the scarlet poppies;
the daisies; all that makes me crazy。 It is like champagne when one is
not accustomed to it!
〃Well; it was lovely weather; warm and bright; and it seemed to penetrate
your body through your eyes when you looked and through your mouth when
you breathed。 Rose and Simon hugged and kissed each other every minute;
and that gave me a queer feeling! Monsieur Beaurain and I walked behind
them; without speaking much; for when people do not know each other; they
do not find anything to talk about。 He looked timid; and I liked to see
his embarrassment。 At last we got to the little wood; it was as cool as
in a bath there; and we four sat down。 Rose and her lover teased me
because I looked rather stern; but you will understand that I could not
be otherwise。 And then they began to kiss and hug again; without putting
any more restraint upon themselves than if we had not been there; and
then they whispered together; and got up and went off among the trees;
without saying a word。 You may fancy what I looked like; alone with this
young fellow whom I saw for the first time。 I felt so confused at seeing
them go that it gave me courage; and I began to talk。 I asked him what
his business was; and he said he was a linen draper's assistant; as I
told you just now。 We talked for a few minutes; and that made him bold;
and he wanted to take liberties with me; but I told him sharply to keep
his place。 Is not that true; Monsieur Beaurain?〃
Monsieur Beaurain; who was looking at his feet in confusion; did not
reply; and she continued: 〃Then he saw that I was virtuous; and he began
to make love to me nicely; like an honorable man; and from that time he
came every Sunday; for he was very much in love with me。 I was very fond
of him also; very fond of him! He was a good…looking fellow; formerly;
and in short he married me the next September; and we started in business
in the Rue des Martyrs。
〃It was a hard struggle for some years; monsieur。 Business did not
prosper; and we could not afford many country excursions; and; besides;
we had got out of the way of them。 One has other things in one's head;
and thinks more of the cash box than of pretty speeches; when one is in
business。 We were growing old by degrees without perceiving it; like
quiet people who do not think much about love。 One does not regret
anything as long as one does not notice what one has lost。
〃And then; monsieur; business became better; and we were tranquil as to
the future! Then; you see; I do not exactly know what went on in my
mind; no; I really do not know; but I began to dream like a little
boarding…school girl。 The sight of the little carts full of flowers
which are drawn about the streets made me cry; the smell of violets
sought me out in my easy…chair; behind my cash box; and made my heart
beat! Then I would get up and go out on the doorstep to look at the blue
sky between the roofs。 When one looks up at the sky from the street; it
looks like a river which is descending on Paris; winding as it flows; and
the swallows pass to and fro in it like fish。 These ideas are very
stupid at my age! But how can one help it; monsieur; when one has worked
all one's life? A moment comes in which one perceives that one could
have done something else; and that one regrets; oh! yes; one feels
intense regret! Just think; for twenty years I might have gone and had
kisses in the woods; like other women。 I used to think how delightful it
would be to lie under the trees and be in love with some one! And I
thought of it every day and every night! I dreamed of the moonlight on
the water; until I felt inclined to drown myself。
〃I did not venture to speak to Monsieur Beaurain about this at first。
I knew that he would make fun of me; and send me back to sell my needles
and cotton! And then; to speak the truth; Monsieur Beaurain never said
much to me; but when I looked in the glass; I also understood quite well
that I no longer appealed to any one!
〃Well; I made up my mind; and I proposed to him an excursion into the
country; to the place where we had first become acquainted。 He agreed
without mistrusting anything; and we arrived here this morning; about
nine o'clock。
〃I felt quite young again when I got among the wheat; for a woman's heart
never grows old! And really; I no longer saw my husband as he is at
present; but just as he was formerly! That I will swear to you;
monsieur。 As true as I am standing here I was crazy。 I began to kiss
him; and he was more surprised than if I had tried to murder him。
He kept saying to me: 'Why; you must be mad! You are mad this morning!
What is the matter with you?' I did not listen to him; I only listened to
my own heart; and I made him come into the wood with me。 That is all。
I have spoken the truth; Monsieur le Maire; the whole truth。〃
The mayor was a sensible man。 He rose from his chair; smiled; and said:
〃Go in peace; madame; and when you again visit our forests; be more
discreet。〃
MARTINE
It came to him one Sunday after mass。 He was walking home from church
along the by…road that led to his house when he saw ahead of him Martine;
who was also going home。
Her father walked beside his daughter with the important gait of a rich
farmer。 Discarding the smock; he wore a short coat of gray cloth and on
his head a round…topped hat with wide brim。
She; laced up in a corset which she wore only once a week; walked along
erect; with her squeezed…in waist; her broad shoulders and prominent
hips; swinging herself a little。 She wore a hat trimmed with flowers;
made by a milliner at Yvetot; and displayed the back of her full; round;
supple neck; reddened by the sun and air; on which fluttered little stray
locks of hair。
Benoist saw only her back; but he knew well the face he loved; without;
however; having ever noticed it more closely than he did now。
Suddenly he said: 〃Nom d'un nom; she is a fine girl; all the same; that
Martine。〃 He watched her as she walked; admiring her hastily; feeling a
desire taking possession of him。 He did not long to see her face again;
no。 He kept gazing at her figure; repeating to himself: 〃Nom d'un nom;
she is a fine girl。〃
Martine turned to the right to enter 〃La Martiniere;〃 the farm of her
father; Jean Martin; and she cast a glance behind her as she turned
round。 She saw Benoist; who looked to her very comical。 She called out:
〃Good…morning; Benoist。〃 He replied: 〃Good…morning; Martine; good…
morning; mait Martin;〃 and went on his way。
When he reached home the soup was on the table。 He sat down opposite his
mother beside the farm hand and the hired man; while the maid servant
went to draw some cider。
He ate a few spoonfuls; then pushed away his plate。 His mother said:
〃Don't you feel well?〃
〃No。 I feel as if I had some pap in my stomach and that takes away my
appetite。〃
He watched the others eating; as he cut himself a piece of bread from
time to time and carried it lazily to his mouth; masticating it slowly。
He thought of Martine。 〃She is a fine girl; all the same。〃 And to think
that he had not noticed it before; and that it came to him; just like
that; all at once; and with such force that he could not eat。
He did not touch the stew。 His mother said:
〃Come; Benoist; try and eat a little; it is loin of mutton; it will do
you good。 When one has no appetite; they should force themselves to
eat。〃
He swallowed a few morsels; then; pushing away his plate; said:
〃No。 I can't go that; positively。〃
When they rose from table he walked round the farm; telling the farm hand
he might go home and that he would drive up the animals as he passed by
them。
The country was deserted; as it was the day of rest。 Here and there in a
field of clover cows were moving along heavily; with full bellies;
chewing their cud under a blazing sun。 Unharnessed plows were standing
at the end of a furrow; and the upturned eart