第 5 节
作者:圈圈      更新:2022-06-19 10:08      字数:9320
  Bondel immediately thought: 〃There is no doubt; my wife was right!〃
  When he left this man he began to think things over again。  He felt in
  his soul a strange confusion of contradictory ideas; a sort of interior
  burning; that mocking; impertinent laugh kept ringing in his ears and
  seemed to say: 〃Why; you are just the same as the others; you fool!〃 That
  was indeed bravado; one of those pieces of impudence of which a woman
  makes use when she dares everything; risks everything; to wound and
  humiliate the man who has aroused her ire。  This poor man must also be
  one of those deceived husbands; like so many others。  He had said sadly:
  〃There are times when she seems to have more confidence and faith in our
  friends than in me。〃  That is how a husband formulated his observations
  on the particular attentions of his wife for another man。  That was all。
  He had seen nothing more。  He was like the restall the rest!
  And how strangely Bondel's own wife had laughed as she said: 〃You; too
  you; too。〃  How wild and imprudent these creatures are who can arouse
  such suspicions in the heart for the sole purpose of revenge!
  He ran over their whole life since their marriage; reviewed his mental
  list of their acquaintances; to see whether she had ever appeared to show
  more confidence in any one else than in himself。  He never had suspected
  any one; he was so calm; so sure of her; so confident。
  But; now he thought of it; she had had a friend; an intimate friend; who
  for almost a year had dined with them three times a week。  Tancret; good
  old Tancret; whom he; Bendel; loved as a brother and whom he continued to
  see on the sly; since his wife; he did not know why; had grown angry at
  the charming fellow。
  He stopped to think; looking over the past with anxious eyes。  Then he
  grew angry at himself for harboring this shameful insinuation of the
  defiant; jealous; bad ego which lives in all of us。  He blamed and
  accused himself when he remembered the visits and the demeanor of this
  friend whom his wife had dismissed for no apparent reason。  But;
  suddenly; other memories returned to him; similar ruptures due to the
  vindictive character of Madame Bondel; who never pardoned a slight。  Then
  he laughed frankly at himself for the doubts which he had nursed; and he
  remembered the angry looks of his wife as he would tell her; when he
  returned at night: 〃I saw good old Tancret; and he wished to be
  remembered to you;〃 and he reassured himself。
  She would invariably answer: 〃When you see that gentleman you can tell
  him that I can very well dispense with his remembrances。〃  With what an
  irritated; angry look she would say these words!  How well one could feel
  that she did not and would not forgiveand he had suspected her even for
  a second?  Such foolishness!
  But why did she grow so angry?  She never had given the exact reason for
  this quarrel。  She still bore him that grudge!  Was it? But nonoand
  Bondel declared that he was lowering himself by even thinking of such
  things。
  Yes; he was undoubtedly lowering himself; but he could not help thinking
  of it; and he asked himself with terror if this thought which had entered
  into his mind had not come to stop; if he did not carry in his heart the
  seed of fearful torment。  He knew himself; he was a man to think over his
  doubts; as formerly he would ruminate over his commercial operations; for
  days and nights; endlessly weighing the pros and the cons。
  He was already becoming excited; he was walking fast and losing his
  calmness。  A thought cannot be downed。  It is intangible; cannot be
  caught; cannot be killed。
  Suddenly a plan occurred to him; it was bold; so bold that at first he
  doubted whether he would carry it out。
  Each time that he met Tancret; his friend would ask for news of Madame
  Bondel; and Bondel would answer: 〃She is still a little angry。〃  Nothing
  more。  Good Lord!  What a fool he had been!  Perhaps!
  Well; he would take the train to Paris; go to Tancret; and bring him back
  with him that very evening; assuring him that his wife's mysterious anger
  had disappeared。  But how would Madame Bondel act?  What a scene there
  would be!  What anger!  what scandal!  What of it?that would be
  revenge!  When she should come face to face with him; unexpectedly; he
  certainly ought to be able to read the truth in their expressions。
  He immediately went to the station; bought his ticket; got into the car;
  and as soon as he felt him self being carried away by the train; he felt
  a fear; a kind of dizziness; at what he was going to do。  In order not to
  weaken; back down; and return alone; he tried not to think of the matter
  any longer; to bring his mind to bear on other affairs; to do what he had
  decided to do with a blind resolution; and he began to hum tunes from
  operettas and music halls until he reached Paris。
  As soon as he found himself walking along the streets that led to
  Tancret's; he felt like stopping; He paused in front of several shops;
  noticed the prices of certain objects; was interested in new things; felt
  like taking a glass of beer; which was not his usual custom; and as he
  approached his friend's dwelling he ardently hoped not meet him。  But
  Tancret was at home; alone; reading。  He jumped up in surprise; crying:
  〃Ah! Bondel! what luck!〃
  Bondel; embarrassed; answered: 〃Yes; my dear fellow; I happened to be in
  Paris; and I thought I'd drop in and shake hands with you。〃
  〃That's very nice; very nice!  The more so that for some time you have
  not favored me with your presence very often。〃
  〃Well; you seeeven against one's will; one is often influenced by
  surrounding conditions; and as my wife seemed to bear you some ill…will〃
  〃Jove! 'seemed'she did better than that; since she showed me the door。〃
  〃What was the reason?  I never heard it。〃
  〃Oh! nothing at alla bit of foolishnessa discussion in which we did
  not both agree。〃
  〃But what was the subject of this discussion?〃
  〃A lady of my acquaintance; whom you may perhaps know by name; Madame
  Boutin。〃
  〃Ah! really。  Well; I think that my wife has forgotten her grudge; for
  this very morning she spoke to me of you in very pleasant terms。〃
  Tancret started and seemed so dumfounded that for a few minutes he could
  find nothing to say。  Then he asked: 〃She spoke of mein pleasant
  terms?〃
  〃Yes。〃
  〃You are sure?〃
  〃Of course I am。  I am not dreaming。〃
  〃And then?〃
  〃And thenas I was coming to Paris I thought that I would please you by
  coming to tell you the good news。〃
  〃Why; yeswhy; yes〃
  Bondel appeared to hesitate; then; after a short pause; he added: 〃I even
  had an idea。〃
  〃What is it?〃
  〃To take you back home with me to dinner。〃
  Tancret; who was naturally prudent; seemed a little worried by this
  proposition; and he asked: 〃Oh! reallyis it possible?  Are we not
  exposing ourselves totoa scene?〃
  〃No; no; indeed!〃
  〃Because; you know; Madame Bendel bears malice for a long time。〃
  〃Yes; but I can assure you that she no longer bears you any illwill。
  I am even convinced that it will be a great pleasure for her to see you
  thus; unexpectedly。〃
  〃Really?〃
  〃Yes; really!〃
  〃Well; then! let us go along。  I am delighted。  You see; this
  misunderstanding was very unpleasant for me。〃
  They set out together toward the Saint…Lazare station; arm in arm。  They
  made the trip in silence。  Both seemed absorbed in deep meditation。
  Seated in the car; one opposite the other; they looked at each other
  without speaking; each observing that the other was pale。
  Then they left the train and once more linked arms as if to unite against
  some common danger。  After a walk of a few minutes they stopped; a little
  out of breath; before Bondel's house。  Bondel ushered his friend into the
  parlor; called the servant; and asked: 〃Is madame at home?〃
  〃Yes; monsieur。〃
  〃Please ask her to come down at once。〃
  They dropped into two armchairs and waited。  Both were filled with the
  same longing to escape before the appearance of the much…feared person。
  A well…known; heavy tread could be heard descending the stairs。  A hand
  moved the knob; and both men watched the brass handle turn。  Then the
  door opened wide; and Madame Bondel stopped and looked to see who was
  there before she entered。  She looked; blushed; trembled; retreated a
  step; then stood motionless; her cheeks aflame and her hands resting
  against the sides of the door frame。
  Tancret; as pale as if about to faint; had arisen; letting fall his hat;
  which rolled along the floor。  He stammered out: 〃Mon Dieumadameit is
  II thoughtI venturedI was so sorry〃
  As she did not answer; he continued: 〃Will you forgive me?〃
  Then; quickly; carried away by some impulse; she walked toward him with
  her hands outstretched; and when he had taken; pressed; and held these
  two hands; she said; in a trembling; weak little voice; which was new to
  her husband:
  〃Ah! my dear friendhow happy I am!〃
  And Bondel; who was watching them; felt an icy chill run over him; as if
  he had been dipped in a cold bath。
  FOUND ON A DROWNED MAN
  Madame; you ask me whether I am laughing at you?  You cannot believe that
  a man has never been in love。  Well; then; no; no; I have never loved;
  never!