just　been　VITEVASHED？〃
  〃I　wish；　uncle；〃　says　she；　〃you　would　not　leave　me　with　such　low
  people。〃
  〃Low；　because　he　cleans　boots？　　De　Gaptain　prefers　PUMPS　to　boots　I
  tinkha！　ha！〃
  〃Captain　indeed！　a　nice　Captain；〃　says　Miss　Crutty；　snapping　her
  fingers　in　my　face；　and　walking　away：　〃a　Captain　who　has　had　his
  nose　pulled！　ha！　ha！〃And　how　could　I　help　it？　it　wasn't　by　my　own
  CHOICE　that　that　ruffian　Waters　took　such　liberties　with　me。
  Didn't　I　show　how　averse　I　was　to　all　quarrels　by　refusing
  altogether　his　challenge？But　such　is　the　world。　　And　thus　the
  people　at　Stiffelkind's　used　to　tease　me；　until　they　drove　me
  almost　mad。
  At　last　he　came　home　one　day　more　merry　and　abusive　than　ever。
  〃Gaptain；〃　says　he；　〃I　have　goot　news　for　youa　goot　place。　　Your
  lordship　vill　not　be　able　to　geep　your　garridge；　but　you　vill　be
  gomfortable；　and　serve　his　Majesty。〃
  〃Serve　his　Majesty？〃　says　I。　　〃Dearest　Mr。　Stiffelkind；　have　you
  got　me　a　place　under　Government？〃
  〃Yes；　and　somting　better　stillnot　only　a　place；　but　a　uniform：
  yes；　Gaptain　Stobbs；　a　RED　GOAT。〃
  〃A　red　coat！　　I　hope　you　don't　think　I　would　demean　myself　by
  entering　the　ranks　of　the　army？　　I　am　a　gentleman；　Mr。　Stiffelkind
  I　can　neverno；　I　never〃
  〃No；　I　know　you　will　neveryou　are　too　great　a　gowardha！　ha！
  though　dis　is　a　red　goat；　and　a　place　where　you　must　give　some　HARD
  KNOCKS　tooha！　ha！do　you　gomprehend？and　you　shall　be　a　general
  instead　of　a　gaptainha！　ha！〃
  〃A　general　in　a　red　coat；　Mr。　Stiffelkind？〃
  〃Yes；　a　GENERAL　BOSTMAN！ha！　ha！　　I　have　been　vid　your　old　friend；
  Bunting；　and　he　has　an　uncle　in　the　Post　Office；　and　he　has　got　you
  de　placeeighteen　shillings　a　veek；　you　rogue；　and　your　goat。　　You
  must　not　oben　any　of　de　letters　you　know。〃
  And　so　it　wasI；　Robert　Stubbs；　Esquire；　became　the　vile　thing　he
  nameda　general　postman！
  。　　　　　　　　。　　　　　　　　。　　　　　　　　。　　　　　　　　。　　　　　　　　。
  I　was　so　disgusted　with　Stiffelkind's　brutal　jokes；　which　were　now
  more　brutal　than　ever；　that　when　I　got　my　place　in　the　Post　Office；
  I　never　went　near　the　fellow　again：　for　though　he　had　done　me　a
  favor　in　keeping　me　from　starvation；　he　certainly　had　done　it　in　a
  very　rude；　disagreeable　manner；　and　showed　a　low　and　mean　spirit　in
  SHOVING　me　into　such　a　degraded　place　as　that　of　postman。　　But　what
  had　I　to　do？　　I　submitted　to　fate；　and　for　three　years　or　more；
  Robert　Stubbs；　of　the　North　Bungay　Fencibles；　was
  I　wonder　nobody　recognized　me。　　I　lived　in　daily　fear　the　first
  year：　but　afterwards　grew　accustomed　to　my　situation；　as　all　great
  men　will　do；　and　wore　my　red　coat　as　naturally　as　if　I　had　been
  sent　into　the　world　only　for　the　purpose　of　being　a　letter…carrier。
  I　was　first　in　the　Whitechapel　district；　where　I　stayed　for　nearly
  three　years；　when　I　was　transferred　to　Jermyn　Street　and　Duke
  Streetfamous　places　for　lodgings。　　I　suppose　I　left　a　hundred
  letters　at　a　house　in　the　latter　street；　where　lived　some　people
  who　must　have　recognized　me　had　they　but　once　chanced　to　look　at
  me。
  You　see　that　when　I　left　Sloffemsquiggle；　and　set　out　in　the　gay
  world；　my　mamma　had　written　to　me　a　dozen　times　at　least；　but　I
  never　answered　her；　for　I　knew　she　wanted　money；　and　I　detest
  writing。　　Well；　she　stopped　her　letters；　finding　she　could　get　none
  from　me：but　when　I　was　in　the　Fleet；　as　I　told　you；　I　wrote
  repeatedly　to　my　dear　mamma；　and　was　not　a　little　nettled　at　her
  refusing　to　notice　me　in　my　distress；　which　is　the　very　time　one
  most　wants　notice。
  Stubbs　is　not　an　uncommon　name；　and　though　I　saw　MRS。　STUBBS　on　a
  little　bright　brass　plate；　in　Duke　street；　and　delivered　so　many
  letters　to　the　lodgers　in　her　house；　I　never　thought　of　asking　who
  she　was；　or　whether　she　was　my　relation；　or　not。
  One　day　the　young　woman　who　took　in　the　letters　had　not　got　change；
  and　she　called　her　mistress。　　An　old　lady　in　a　poke…bonnet　came　out
  of　the　parlor；　and　put　on　her　spectacles；　and　looked　at　the　letter；
  and　fumbled　in　her　pocket　for　eightpence；　and　apologized　to　the
  postman　for　keeping　him　waiting。　　And　when　I　said；　〃Never　mind；
  Ma'am；　it's　no　trouble；〃　the　old　lady　gave　a　start；　and　then　she
  pulled　off　her　spectacles；　and　staggered　back；　and　then　she　began
  muttering；　as　if　about　to　choke；　and　then　she　gave　a　great　screech；
  and　flung　herself　into　my　arms；　and　roared　out；　〃MY　SON；　MY　SON！〃
  〃Law；　mamma；〃　said　I；　〃is　that　you？〃　and　I　sat　down　on　the　hall
  bench　with　her；　and　let　her　kiss　me　as　much　as　ever　she　liked。
  Hearing　the　whining　and　crying；　down　comes　another　lady　from　up
  stairs；it　was　my　sister　Eliza；　and　down　come　the　lodgers。　　And
  the　maid　gets　water　and　what　not；　and　I　was　the　regular　hero　of　the
  group。　　I　could　not　stay　long　then；　having　my　letters　to　deliver。
  But；　in　the　evening；　after　mail…time；　I　went　back　to　my　mamma　and
  sister；　and；　over　a　bottle　of　prime　old　port；　and　a　precious　good
  leg　of　boiled　mutton　and　turnips；　made　myself　pretty　comfortable；　I
  can　tell　you。
  DECEMBER。〃THE　WINTER　OF　OUR　DISCONTENT。〃
  Mamma　had　kept　the　house　in　Duke　Street　for　more　than　two　years。
  I　recollected　some　of　the　chairs　and　tables　from　dear　old
  Sloffemsquiggle；　and　the　bowl　in　which　I　had　made　that　famous　rum…
  punch；　the　evening　she　went　away；　which　she　and　my　sisters　left
  untouched；　and　I　was　obliged　to　drink　after　they　were　gone；　but
  that's　not　to　the　purpose。
  Think　of　my　sister　Lucy's　luck！　that　chap；　Waters；　fell　in　love
  with　her；　and　married　her；　and　she　now　keeps　her　carriage；　and
  lives　in　state　near　Sloffemsquiggle。　　I　offered　to　make　it　up　with
  Waters；　but　he　bears　malice；　and　never　will　see　or　speak　to　me。He
  had　the　impudence；　too；　to　say；　that　he　took　in　all　letters　for
  mamma　at　Sloffemsquiggle；　and　that　as　mine　were　all　begging…
  letters；　he　burned　them；　and　never　said　a　word　to　her　concerning
  them。　　He　allowed　mamma　fifty　pounds　a　year；　and；　if　she　were　not
  such　a　fool；　she　might　have　had　three　times　as　much；　but　the　old
  lady　was　high　and　mighty　forsooth；　and　would　not　be　beholden；　even
  to　her　own　daughter；　for　more　than　she　actually　wanted。　　Even　this
  fifty　pound　she　was　going　to　refuse；　but　when　I　came　to　live　with
  her；　of　course　I　wanted　pocket…money　as　well　as　board　and　lodging；
  and　so　I　had　the　fifty　pounds　for　MY　share；　and　eked　out　with　it　as
  well　as　I　could。
  Old　Bates　and　the　Captain；　between　them；　gave　mamma　a　hundred
  pounds　when　she　left　me　（she　had　the　deuce's　own　luck；　to　be　sure
  much　more　than　ever　fell　to　ME；　I　know）　and　as　she　said　she　WOULD
  try　and　work　for　her　living；　it　was　thought　best　to　take　a　house
  and　let　lodgings；　which　she　did。　　Our　first　and　second　floor　paid
  us　four　guineas　a　week；　on　an　average；　and　the　front　parlor　and
  attic　made　forty　pounds　more。　　Mamma　and　Eliza　used　to　have　the
  front　attic：　but　I　took　that；　and　they　slept　in　the　servants'
  bedroom。　　Lizzy　had　a　pretty　genius　for　work；　and　earned　a　guinea　a
  week　that　way；　so　that　we　had　got　nearly　two　hundred　a　year　over
  the　rent　to　keep　house　with；and　we　got　on　pretty　well。　　Besides；
  women　eat　nothing：　my　women　didn't　care　for　meat　for　days　together
  sometimes；so　that　it　was　only　necessary　to　dress　a　good　steak　or
  so　for　me。
  Mamma　would　not　think　of　my　continuing　in　the　Post　Office。　　She
  said　her　dear　Robert；　her　husband's　son；　her　gallant　soldier；　and
  all　that；　should　remain　at　home　and　be　a　gentlemanwhich　I　was；
  certainly；　though　I　didn't　find　fifty　pounds　a　year　very　much　to
  buy　clothes　and　be　a　gentleman　upon。　　To　be　sure；　mother　found　me
  shirts　and　linen；　so　that　THAT　wasn't　in　the　fifty　pounds。　　She
  kicked　a　little　at　paying　the　washing　too；　but　she　gave　in　at　last；
  for　I　was　her　dear　Bob；　you　know；　and　I'm　blest　if　I　could　not　make
  her　give　me　the　gown　off　her　back。　　Fancy！　once　she　cut　up　a　very
  nice　rich　black　silk　scarf；　which　my　sister　Waters　sent　her；　and
  made　me　a　waistcoat　and　two　stocks　of　it。　　She　was　so　VERY　soft；
  the　old　lady！
  。　　　　　　　　。　　　　　　　　。　　　　　　　　。　　　　　　　　。　　　　　　　　。
  I'd　lived　in　this　way　for　five　years　or　more；　making　myself　content
  with　my　fifty　pounds　a　year　（PERHAPS　I　had　saved　a　little　out　of
  it；　but　that's　neither　here　nor　there）。　　From　year's　end　to　year's
  end　I　remained　faithful　to　my　dear　mamma；　never　leaving　her　except
  for　a　month　or　so　in　the　summerwhen　a　bachelor　may　take　a　trip　to
  Gravesend　or　Margate；　which　would　be　too　expensive　for　a　family。　　I
  say　a　bachelor；　for　the　fact　is；　I　don't　know　whether　I　am　married
  or　notnever　having　heard　a　word　since　of　the　scoundrelly　Mrs。
  Stubbs。
  I　never　went　to　the　public…house　before　meals：　for；　with　my
  beggarly　fifty　pounds；　I　could　not　afford　to　dine　away　from　home：
  but　there　I　had　my　regular　seat；　and　used　to　come　home　PRETTY
  GLORIOUS；　I　can　tell　you。　　Then　bed　till　eleven；　then　breakfast　and
  the　newspaper；　then　a　stroll　in　Hyde　Park　or　St。　James's；　then　home
  at　half…past　three　to　dinnerwhen　I　jollied；　as　I　ca